Hope in Amends

2:10 in the morning
And I'm waiting for you
Here and there, forever
Never-ending hope fills me

I miss you, when will it happen?
I miss you, why don't you come here?
I miss you, why did you forget?
I miss you, when have we met?

I can't remember if it was then
Or now, these days when I roam
I look at you here and there
I see you, but you're never alone

I miss you, do you see me?
I miss you, when will this happen?
I miss you, don't you ever wish?
I miss you, I wished you missed me too

I believe you'll take me there
Beyond this elixir for sadness
And into the pool of your eyes
Take me when we forget all else
Into the forever mist
Where no one is there,
And we are everywhere

Lost, but found
Broken, but healing

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I was up really late and I was on myspace, and a poem came to me so I started writing. Nothing really inspired me to write it; it's one of those poems I make that don't have anything to do with me... mostly.

At the End of the Tunnel

Staring at myself
At this nightmare I always see
And only thinking of you
The person I need to wake me

Just come and see me break
And bend my heart for you
Come and feel me mend
Our lives to one from two

Never meant harm,
But never meant well
You and me, together
The thought starts to dwell

Nothing, good at nothing
Good for nothing... but each other
Perfect, never perfect
But perfect for one another

And suddenly I see
That out of catastrophe
We can live together
I miss you…
Do you miss me?

Maybe I’ll sleep forever
Blind to the reality of sight
But I’ll always be waiting for you…
In this dark I wait for my light

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This poem was inspired mainly by Alana. She told me some things, and she showed me a music video and it kind of just moved me and I felt like I, MYSELF, was nothing and could do nothing and ever amount to anything, so I mixed the two things into one poem and it came out alright.

Blood Red, Beautiful Dead

Oh my dear
How could you lie to me?
Oh my dear
How could you have loved me?

Oh my dear
You are never near
Never even when I saw you there,
Ever lovely hair

And now what?
And now who?
When and where,
Why, who cares?

I loved you
Like no one else could
And you lied to me
Like the Devil would

I knew that you were dead
In your heart like a rose
Still so… beautiful
And yet… so, so…
Red

Like my blood that spilt
And like the garment you wore
So beautiful, so beautiful
But now nothing but
A head

You were so cruel to me
And I so good to you
How could you have taken
My love and broken
My heart?

You were so good to me
And I so cruel to you
How could I have mistaken
The beauty and the break
In your smile?

Yet I knew, always knew
That we were meant to die
With rivers running fresh
From the throats or
Perhaps the eye

So beautiful, red blood
Beautiful, red tears
Cruel, this body dead
So good, this love unwed

And now you left me
Alone, and without you
For never shall I find
Nowhere in the world
A stream as quick and true
As, oh so, beautiful…
You

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While watching the movie Sweeney Todd, I immediately fell in love with the drama that just emanates from every corner- the make-up, the black corners, the crazy lady, the sorta-ugly hero dude and the ugly girl he wants to marry, everything was so twisted and brilliant and ironic and great. And when Mr. T is just sitting with his dead lover's head in his lap, he's singing some song where he repeats the word "beautiful" over and over, and that stuck in my head and I sang it even after the movie was over. And I didnt know the words, so I made up my own lyrics and sorta made-up my own song (music to it) to it too and wrote it down. I forgot how the song part goes, but these are the lyrics I made.

You and Me- a Dream or Reality?

A vision came to visit me
It came in the sight of my mind
I ran away, and stayed
All at the same time
But now, I’m loving
This feeling that’s mine

It’s like I’m alive again
Breathing, but not living enough
Because before I met you
I was dead
And now you’re not with me
Oh, oh, oh

I said, Oh, oh
Come to me

I know you were here for a reason
That’s why I stayed
And now that I can feel it,
I’ll make you feel this way

I just wonder at how it all could be
If there was an us, a you and me
But now, I’m just being lonely
Oh, oh, oh

I said, oh, oh
Come to me please

I saw you and thought you were
Perfection in every hue
I suddenly touched you
And never breathed again
Until today, when I knew
That you felt this too
And now I believe
Ohhhhh…

I said oh,oh…
Come to me please
We can live our lives,
Just you and me

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I wrote this poem right while I was truly getting over Lisa- in fact, it's about someone else.

Searching for Ice Cream

Ice cream reminds me of you
Cuz when I saw your eyes, so blue
I melted and they seemed to melt, too
You left me there, and I started thinking

I got a puddle at my feet
My heart is in the air
It’s about to crash and burn
But you don’t care

I just sit, listening to my heartbeat
Wonderin if it’s beating for you or me
I just think of the days when we were so carefree
But now, you don’t are, so just leave me be

Love, love, love
You got me
Got my sittin on my sofa
At half-past-three

In the morning… and evening
Waiting here all day to be dreaming
Dreams of you and me, perhaps eternally
Maybe just someday…
But

No, no, no (repeated)

My heart reaches the floor
And splatters liquids red
You knock at my door
But I am no more

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Well I really have no idea what made me write this poem. I think a song inspired me, cuz whenever I read it I sorta sing it in my head. And that's why I'm making it into a song (or, depending on when you read this, that's why it IS a song). When I originally wrote it, the last line was "but i'm already dead," but after my sister said it was kinda weird and I wrote this version, I thought it was much better (I also changed some other things).

Orders of Fear

Do what they say
Just to live another day
Tears strolling, choking smoke
Trying not to die a joke

But they point their weapons
In my face of fear
I look at myself,
And those I hold near

I do what they say
I don't run away
They and their smiles malign
Would just shoot me blind

Till I see nothing but death
And so I cry
Holding myself
Hoping to die

Life is not worth this
The torture and fear
Is strong and it runs
Through my eye and ear

The screams, they pierce
The blood, it kills
They don't care about
The soul that spills

I lose my stomach
As I watch my father
I try to save him...
But why bother?

The bullet penetrates
The blood hits the dirt
I look into his eyes
His soul was dead...
How it hurt

I tried to lose my thoughts
But instead remembered my mother
Who, seemingly angelic,
Died at the cause of another

The others, those beasts
Their minds are lifeless
Their hands are death
Their actions are thoughtless

In the middle of bustle
I sit, alone
Crying and feeling nothing
And hearing the groan
Of dying life, around me
They won't leave us be

Shooting and fighting
Blood and tears
Dirt and bodies
Death...
But only fear

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I was watching Iron Man and it was my second time watching it. All I remembered from the first time I watched it were the "cool" explosions and gadgets, but the second time I noticed a couple moving scenes that really show some great emotion. And those scenes inspired me to write this. It's not one of my greats, but it's ok.

The Irony of Dragonflies

O Dragonfly
You used to fly tall and proud
But now your carcass lies on the ground
What has life reduced you to?

O Sun
You used to bring life and happiness
But if someone rejects your gift,
You cannot make them have it

O poor Insects
You would fly
In the face of danger
Now you cower in dirt

Reduced to less than expected,
We just try to live
But we cannot,
And we cower in fear

Even clouds…
Gorgeous and looming,
Over everything we own,
…Must fall

We don’t see when
But we all fall
Joy will never be
Didn’t you know?

Cower in safety…
We all must
There’s no denying
The ruthlessness of this world

We give so much
But receivers pretend
So we feel the need
To be slaves again

Signs of death
Loom all around life
Dragonflies and suns
Insects and clouds…

Like stars we shine
But burn ourselves
Thus is the way of things

Love?
No
Friendship?
No

These die as well
They are not a solution!
Can love overcome death?
Can friends resurrect your soul?

Life makes everything twisted
We forget what we believed
And forget what we were
Just to cry

And expect something more,
As if there is more
But we
Just
Cry
In solitude

Sweet blissful sadness
There is no such feeling
As your tears wetting your own hair
And you realize you should stop

But your emotions drive you
And rivers flow from the peaks
Of ice in your eyes
Of ice in your heart

Feel it!
Feel the bitter cold

O Life
She takes everything we have
And asks what we have left
Now all I have to give
Are cold tears and a bitter heart

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I made this poem when I was just sad, obviously. It was morning and I was walking to my bus stop and on the side of the road there was a dragonfly, and its legs were up and i thought it was dead but it twitched. I just thought it was really sad how it was such a great creature and now it was twitching and dying on the side of the road. I just felt like writing about how great things die, how all great things die, really. Pay attention to some parts in the poem- after I talk about the insects in the beginning, the next stanza is a sort of allusion to the first three (using the words "reduced," "live," and "cower" to tie them into one idea). The "we give so much/but receivers pretend/so we feel the need/to be slaves again" shows that we give but we don't get anything back. We just see these fake signs of gratitude that the world or people give us, and then we feel like giving more to make it/them happy and... it leads to more disappointment. The night before I wrote this, I was listening to sad music and I was looking up at the ceiling and my tears rolled down the side of my face and into my hair. That's where I got the "wet hair" thing in the stanza before the ice tears and heart. It's basically about irony and how the world takes everything we have... I told you I was sad when I wrote it. It's one of my favorites.

Craving Delusions

It breaks her heart
But his soul is decimated
She can’t do anything
And he does everything for her

She sees his signs of affection
And receives them with gratitude
She feels alive in those moments
How he dreams…

He forgets her smile
They reconcile
All is well and said
How she wishes…

They, in a battle of mind and heart,
Seem so calm and unmoved
He, who wants her
She, who wants him to forget

How can someone not want to love
That which remedies their pain?
How can one forget that which
They think is perfection?

He wishes he knew
He wishes she knew
That he can’t know
So it is pointless

And in the war of souls,
Their words wound and heal,
Their hands entice and push away,
Their hearts beat to different drums
There’s no winning or losing

Put up the white flag
He wishes, she wishes
Forget that blood was shed
And go home instead

Oh, it’s true what they say
War ruins the day
It tears people away
And nations don’t see…

Forget?
Wars are never lost in mind
Give up?
Both sides never look behind

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In the very beginning of the poem, we see irony and how "he does everything for her" but "she can't do anything at all." It just talks about how both of them have contrasting wishes for what they want at the end of this thing they're going through. He wants... well you tell me what he wants. And, besides that, I was going for a third-person kind of poem this time. I usually say "you" or "she," but this time I talked as if I was a spectator watching the scene of these two people. In reality, I am the guy in the poem and the girl is she who I liked recently. I realized she did not want me, as I had realized before, but it still never stopped hurting. I don't know when, but I made this poem.

Liquid Thievery

Round and opulent
Turns and turns
The sphere of death
That only dies

And in its death
It must steal life
From those inside
To preserve itself

Take my breath away
And feed yourself
From my tears
Disintegrate my pride
For your pleasure

This torture is not worth living anyway
Just take it all away
You who judge and hurt and discriminate
Just take it and go

Go away...
You have what you want
You took my joy
And my music
And my friends
And my strength
And my tears
And my God
Leave me alone...

My sobs don't push you away though
It's as if they're a call for you
A beacon for your treacherous raid
On peace

I'm over it
I can't believe I let you win
I still cry over death
When it's always been beside me

Just devour me whole
Or leave me alone
This game of cat and mouse
Has become known

Is there no one to rescue me?
Is there none that can see
The beacon and come out of pity
And with a pure remedy?

I can't write anymore
I feel too alone
In my solitude
There is nothingness

There is nothing to write
You took it all away
Leave me alone...
I'm at the shore,
Feeling the wave
Of gust and gore
Stay at bay

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This is one of my spontaneous poems. I think that makes three, rite? Well whatever. This was in those days when I was just crying for no reason. It's the second time that that's happened to me, actually. But I was just posting something about what I was feeling and how I felt isolated and like no one understands me... everything just piled up and I wrote this.

Devastation

I’m not truly happy,
Am I?
You’re not okay,
Are you?

Depression rages
As happiness engages
In manifestations
Of smiles around me

The time will come
When the tornado will swirl by
And the time will come
When the skies clear a path
To your success

But now the tornado’s coming
And clouds are looming
Your tears are enumerating
And houses are depreciated
In the sight of catastrophe

Wind blows my hair
And I can finally see
Just to have the wind
Throw dust into my eyes

We see just to be blind
We cower just to be noticed
It comes as a beautiful whirlwind
Just to destroy life’s art

We all stare at the disaster waiting to occur
We worry about the destruction about to happen
But you haven’t even realized
The true wreck is inside our homes

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This poem was made in 7th period, in my science class. I don't know what it is about the last period of the day that makes me write poetry... Anyways. A tornado drill happened, and we had to move, and while writing this poem I was like "wow, i should include a tornado into it" cuz it just seemed to work. And it's just about how there's always destruction, and we can't rly stop the sadness in our lives. We can get over it and just make it seem less destructive, but that's just how we perceive it. And sometimes people just think everyone else has horrible lives and don't see that they're the ones that are truly unhappy.

Voyage of Self-Discovery

I tick to my own clock
I drum to my own beat
I tune to my own radio
Till there’s nothing I don’t understand

I go down my own stream
Of isolation and adventure
Endlessly and forever
Always fascinated

Lost in the depths
Yet always finding myself
Secrets unraveled
Thoughts discovered

There are times
That I don’t like
What I find
But I can’t pretend
That I didn’t see it
So I leave it be

And there are times
Where I am marveled
At why and how
Things haven’t been found

There’s always more to see
Never less to discover
Floating on and on
Endlessly and forever

The trees always climb
The storms keep on raging
But I just row my boat
Eternally aging

And in this forever stream
We forget it leads to an ocean
Although it carries our very essence
We must remember that it will cease

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This is a poem about learning about yourself. It's about going out into the world alone, and just learning about who you are and accepting it. Or changing it. And your very essence is something that's so vast and there's always more that you haven't seen or felt, so it's just endless.

Was Darwin Wrong?

In my dark corner
I write my own manifestation
Of these tears that invisibly fall
Into the depths of unimportance

I can feel them falling
But I know they’re not
Not to you
Because you don’t see

I want to make you happy
I wish you were here with me
I want you here…
So… so close

Why can’t it be you?!
Why must you ignore me?!
Why does it have to happen this way…?
It hurts to look at you

I see your smile
And I can’t take it
I see you
And you break me

My head keeps throbbing
With pain and misfortune
And while you live your life
I am excluded

So just leave me alone
I don’t want to be like this
I can’t have you
Because you don’t want me

I wish you could feel
Exactly what I feel
So you would know
What you mean to me

I wish you were here
Oh, so close
But you don’t want me
So just go away

BUT I DON’T WANT YOU TO!
I can’t just forget
I can’t see past you
I can’t ignore these feelings

But it’s inevitable
Because it’s already clear
That I am alone
And you’re far from near

It hurts when you touch me
It hurts when you speak
My life disintegrates as I feel
The havoc that you wreak

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The title for this poem is a whole story. I was in class and the girl i liked was sitting right next to me, and since i hadn't liked someone in such a long time, it rly hurt to just sit next to her. And I was almost crying, so I decided to go to this back corner in the room where no one could see me, and so I took a paper and pencil and something to write on, went back there, cried and wrote. I cried the whole time, and the paper I was using was a science notes paper, and the title of the paper was "Was Darwin Wrong?" and i just thought it was funny so I made that the title. I'll never forget this poem.

Nonexistent

I’m so clueless
I’m so helpless
She’s so beautiful
So, so gorgeous

Maybe I love her
What if I do?
Maybe I make her happy
What if I can?
Maybe I’ll kiss her
What if I want to?

What if I do?
What if I want to?
Maybe I should forget it
But she taunts me everyday

With her eyes
And that gliding walk
Her everyday movements
Make her more beautiful

I look on and wonder
At how amazing it would be
To have her in my arms
And tend to her every need

But her life is not for me
She lives for another
While I waste my breath on her,
And while words I utter
Come out of my heart
She tears me apart

What is she to me?
A dream or an illusion?
A goal or an obsession?
Why all the questions and oppressions?

I only ask you, blank page
Because I know the answer
She does not want me
And so I am alone

The bird flies to the sky
Always staring at its greatness
And longs to be with it
But knows it’s too high

The heart longs to divulge
But how? Tell me,
If nothing is by its side
To make it beat again

For I am alone
Like a bird in my heart,
I am trapped
I long for that
Which cannot be touched
When no hope exists
Of even living
Or dying
Or breathing
Or sleeping
Or loving… near it

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This was a poem when I just liked someone and they didn't like me back. And it was really unusual for me because at that point I hadn't liked someone for maybe four years, and then to just randomly like someone and not be able to have them was like torture. It was such a new feeling, and such a strange sensation. It was weird.

Passion Pains

Like the sun and moon
You and I intertwine
Beauty and grace as we may be,
We’re never completely one

The rivers and streams
That endlessly seem
To glide down your face
Fall with our grace

And the moans of depression
That we soon learn are real
Are holding us apart
On opposite sides of the world

Like mountains and valleys
You and I combine
The highs and lows seem to glow
But never shine in time

Because the earth beneath us
Is constantly shifting
And moving us so close
Just to tear our hearts out

And in this endless cycle
Faces are not met
For we will only regret
We should just forget

I wish you and I could
Break from these forces
That bend and break
Our little obsession

We are not meant to be
Because a rose by any name
Is just as sweet
But a soul by any passion
Is never set free

You’ve deluded yourself
Your own light blinds you
Your love overtakes you
You try to come to me

But I am out of reach

And so you hear my voice
And try to see me again
But you are oh, so helpless
And cannot amend

Try and fail
Reach and fall
Go on the edge
Just to lose it all

Fall for me, will you?
You will only die
Because as your love grew,
Mine went awry

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This is a poem about when someone likes you but they can't see that you don't like them back. It's a slightly mean poem, but sometimes the truth hurts, you know? It's a sincere poem I guess, but I didn't write it coming directly from me. I guess a part of me was in it, but it isn't directly related to my life.

Profound Awakening

In this dim light
I sit here alone
Alone and afraid
For no one is with me

And in this dark nothing
I can be who I am
I can love and write and sing
But I am not happy

The world doesn’t want me
So it traps me inside myself
And I walk the Earth
With my dark world inside me

These people don’t love me
So I try to love myself
And somehow I ask:
What is there to love?

Because the world doesn’t want me,
I don’t want to love myself
Because they can’t accept me,
I feel that I shouldn’t either

But they are all blind
And they live in the light
That only blinds and kills
And takes your breath away

I live in the dark
Alone and afraid
But from my fear comes knowledge
And I become my own light

For the world is light
But shall soon diminish
And as I was bleak
So I will shine

I will grow large
And soon you’ll have to accept me
You will sleep
And soon I’ll have to wake you

Because I never sleep
But you always do
You shut your eyes
And therefore your mind
And forget me
And your needs

I will be there
In my dark corners
Waking you out of your
Egotistical and brilliant sleep

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This is a poem about how isolated people feel sometimes. But even though we are like no one else, we are special and shouldn't feel different in a bad way. We always have something to give, always something good that no one else has. Always something nicely odd about us. And that's what we need to see, and tell the world that we deserve to be accepted.

Love's Warmth

I always prayed
I always pleaded
For You to give me purpose
To tell me what to do

I guess I wanted it
Because I didn’t want to go back
But it always got me
And dragged me away

Away from You
Away from Your plans
Away from my dreams
Locked into nothingness

I guess I wanted it
Because I feel so guilty
I’ve wronged You so many times
So why do You forgive me?

I wanted to make it up to You
For what I did, what I chose
I don’t deserve what You’ve given me
I don’t deserve You

I’ve asked myself why You love me
I still don’t understand how or why
I don’t know how You can show me mercy
When all I’ve done is turn my back on You

But You said, “I love you
And I’ll continue loving you
I’ll hold you tight
And keep you warm

I’ll give you food
I’ll give you family
I’ll give you safety
I can give you unconditional love”

You said all these things
And I still don’t understand
But that’s why You’re God
And You reign over us

So take me in your arms
And show me Your path
Tell me of Your grace
And let me feel Your warmth

Tell me You love me
Because I still can’t believe it
Tell me You’ll hug me
Because I still wanna feel it

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This is another "christian" poem. It's just a poem about how away I was from God and i really just wanted to be with Him, but couldn't find a way to. It's also about how amazing God's love is for us, even though we can't love him the same way or do everything he's done for us. He still loves us, and that's what always amazes me.

Cold Chains

The sex, the money
The pressure, my honey
We can't be wasting
All of our time

This build up inside
Is getting too big
I need to let it out
I can't let it reside

And so these days
Alone and without meaning
Have made a statement
Of my demeaning spirit

And so these emotions
Have built up
And the pressure
Has burst

Leave me be
And let me live
Or die, if you please
For I do not belong
To you

Stop telling me
I can't and won't
Stop saying
"Sergio, don't"

Because you're not my God
And you're not my mother
You are by my side
When I have no other

But that doesn't mean
That you can push me
And chain me to you
I'll just pull away

So let me be
And set me free
Leave me alone
To be blind or see

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This poem was just when I was annoyed with everyone. I was just frustrated with all the crap going on... And when I was writing it, it was at night and my mom was yelling at me to go to sleep, so I got even more annoyed with that... It's not really my style, I don't know what happened but here it is.

A New Moon

The moon shines tonight
It shines true and high
I am captured by its light
And can't turn away

But these tears
Distort my vision
And I don't see
What I used to

And like the moon
You have sides and faces
You are dark and light
And somehow you captivate me

So like the moon
Turn away slowly
Just to come back to me
A new moon

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One night, going from North Port to Sarasota, I was looking at a 1/3 full moon. And i just thought about how many poems I made about the moon but never talked about it's phases. And so I thought it would be really cool if I made an analogy of that with a girl a guy just couldn't understand. This was my result.

Going But Already Here

I’m telling you I’m leaving
I’m saying you should stay
I’m screaming for mercy
But I know it’s worthless

It’s been so long
We were so together
But my heart told me
That we’re not ready

I’m not leaving
Because I dislike you
But I’m not staying
Because I don’t fully love you

I need to see
That you’re good for me
And understand that I
Need you in my life

Let me stray
Even though it hurts
Allow me to leave
Because I believe
I’m coming back

Our dreams are broken for the moment
Our hearts don’t seem to be working
My life is playing with yours
So let me go to know why

I know you’re good for me
And I know I need you
But it’s hard to follow
When you don’t feel

I’m lost and learning
Mostly hurt and isolated
A little out of luck
And my vision’s faded

So let me stray
Even though you hurt
Allow me to die
Because I believe
We can come to life

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This was when I just thought I needed to go find what I wanted. I had never really explored anything outside of a christian lifestyle, and so I felt like I didn't value it highly enough. I wanted to find what I actually wanted and so felt I needed to go away from God and what I was confortable with. And I created this.

Muffiny Love

Love muffin, love muffin
The best muffin in the world
With your awesome insides
And your awesome outsides
You are just plain awesome

Love muffin, my love muffin
Never leave me alone
Cause then I'd be a lonely wittle muffin
With nowhere to go

I'm gonna keep you forever
And hope to God you don't rot
Cuz that would be sad
And I would cry

So stay with me, my love muffin
And never rot away
You always seem to be able
To make my troubles disappear

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This was after a sort of strange conversation with Emily, as usual. And we came to the conclusion that I was gonna call her love muffin. And I was on my blog at the time, and i was just having so much fun and feeling so peaceful that I wrote this. I was laughing so much while I was writing it, and I still laugh when I read "and i would cry" cuz its just... there. I don't know, it just seems funny to me. But I love it anyways, and that's why it's here.

Mundane Illusions

Will you ever
Try to look beyond yourself?
Will you ever
Try to understand someone else?

Because we all need
To live and breathe
And to fight and argue
Will solve nothing

This world is so deceiving
This life is unforgiving
Your words are so convincing
But do you believe?
Do you believe?

Why does it always need to happen?
The weak are destroyed
And the unjust move on
This world is just repeating

"And so?" you ask
"And what?" you say
You win, and lose nothing
But they have nothing
To lose

In this eternal fight
Darkness covers light
But if only for a moment
We shine

And in our short life
The sadness comes to mind
But if only for a second
We smile

'Cuz we all need
Someone to believe
To know they're always there
For you

'Cuz this world is blind
And your life loses sense
You try to understand
But this world won't let you

Blind, deaf, and mute
You can't help but try to see
Seeing nothing, you scream

Deaf, mute, and blind
You can't help but try to hear
Hearing nothing, you will see

Mute, blind, and deaf
You can't help trying to confess
But confessions turn into strange noise

'Cuz this world is fading
But pretends it's thriving
So we all believe
In nothing real

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This is one of my longer ones. I made it in school, a period after I made the poem below. As I said in that post, it wasn't a very good day. I was walking to my next class and heard a guy playing the guitar. He was just playing three chords, very simple ones too, and I just sang the first part of this poem to it. I then thought of the second part and kept saying it over and over so that I could write it down in class. Since it came from music, some parts seem more lyrical than poetic, but that doesn't mean it can't be a poem. I think my best work might be inspired by music.

Sweet Dreams

So when is the hypocracy going to end?
When will we stop living to prolong death?
When will the fake smiles show their real faces?
And why hasn't it happened yet?

My body can't take it
My eyes can't hold back
My feet cannot move on
And my mouth is tired of smiling

The awkwardness of these people
Is the proof of stupidity
And inexperience
And sweet bliss

Why don't I feel bliss?
Must I become like everyone else?
I can't believe the path I'm taking
I don't understand why it's so different

Let me be free
To do my own thing
Allow me to see
Who I'm meant to be

And if I turn back
Embrace me with open arms
And if I don't
Stay with me

These hands will soon cease
My eyes won't keep looking up
My soul is tired and depleted
So I'm going to sleep

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I wrote this poem on the day I wrote the poem above this one. It was a very tiring day, and I wasn't so good spiritually speaking. I was just down the whole day, not depressed but not happy either. This was written a period before the poem above, and I think the other poem came out better (probably because of how I got inspired to write it).

Be in Me

My heart is dying
This mind is so polluted
My body is going to collapse
And I don't see

I wish I could see You
But like the sun,
No one can look at You and all of You
Reveal Yourself to my eyes

I wish I could fell You right now
But like a majestic river,
I need to find You first
Don't hide Your touch from me

My heart loses its passions
And turns to other things
My mind thinks of other things
And forgets its passions

My body doesn't feel
The touch of life

And like a person
You come to me
Son, be my heart
You beat life never-endingly

Father, be my mind
You've planned and done so much
Breath, be my body
You drive countless blessings

The body of a christian
Is composed of many things
But lets pray that we have
A heart, mind, and a body

We were put on this Earth
But do not belong to it
We do not conform
So be a new self

Take this unusable everything
And live in it, so it can live
For and with You forever
And be used

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I wrote this a couple days before the post below. I was thinking about how God can be compared to a body, and I thought that that was such a beautiful thing that I decided to make a poem about it.

A New World in Me

Throw me up into the skies
So that I can taste the height
And let me fall to the Earth
So I can feel You catch me

This injured animal, so innocent
Is so scared of you
It doesn't understand the way You work
So it runs away

The other, though, sees refuge
And lets you carry it
Even not understanding
It knows You'll love forever

Help me to be
The person You planned
Help me to see
That I need You in me

So take this broken wing
And help me soar
Take my polluted heart
And make me new

Supernova
Make me explode
Make me implode
Make me pour out

Supernova
Fill me with grace
Fill me with love
Fill me with You

Let the blast show the world
That You are its Light
Let this new star
Shine for You

I'll run and fly
I'll sing and dance
I'll laugh and cry
With You by my side

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It was late at night and I was listening to Shawn McDonald, a christian singer. I thought about how God is like a person who takes care of a bird with a broken wing. Some birds don't want help, being scared, but others take it. It was really late and I tried to go back to bed but when I thought of the first stanza in my head, I had to write it down. And just to let you know, "nova" means "new" in portuguese. It's kind of a play on words in the poem.

World of Broken Things

When have the skies been so perfect?
At what time have trees looked so beautiful?
When have I felt so secure?
When did i see you?

It was then that everything turned
And the Earth itself turned to beauty
With you in my view
With you in my view

I was comatose then
When did time stop?
You were perfect then
At what time did we die?

That death so pure
That the world died with it
And the sky lost its glory
Your eyes escaped me

Do you remember?
When we shared a treasure
And said "Never let go"?
Don't you remember?

When has Utopia been so empty?
At what time did we lose everything?
When did I become so lonely?
I suppose it was at that time

When the house of mirrors crashed
And glass shattered around me
Into my eyes and arms
Keeping you out of my sight and grasp

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This poem was inspired by a night I rememeber. It was freezing outside and I was holding someone in my arms, outside of the building we were supposed to be in. And both of us clung to each other, wishing to go inside but never wanting to leave that moment. The sky was perfect, the cold wind made each others' warmth seem too good to be true. I was thinking about that night and wrote this, but I changed it a little and made it sound as if the girl is leaving him.

Don't Look Through Tears

Do you see that moon?
Do you see these trees?
Don’t you see my body?
They all shine, grow, and live for you
Tonight

So what if you cried?
It’s not worth the tears
So what if you died?
I can bring you to life

You see that moon,
Thousands of miles away?
It shines in your eyes
To make you impossibly beautiful

See these trees,
Trying to grow more?
They reach stars to drop leaves
That only glorify you more

Don’t you see my body,
Holding all of you?
It breathes life for you
So empty yourself

Give yourself to me
As I’ve given to you
So we can be empty selves
But overflowing with each other

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This was written on the car ride home, from North Port. I was looking at the moon, and since I love it so much, I felt inspired, I guess. This is another poem that has nothing to do with my personal life. I was going to make it a sort of "come back to me, forgive me" poem, but I thought this would be better. In the beginning, the guy is talking about himself as if he's talking about a thing, something he can just give away. And when he says "holding all of you," it doesn't just mean physical. He takes in her pain and sorrow, to give back happiness. You could look at this poem as if it was jesus talking to you, or you can just look at it romantically. It works both ways.

Amnesty

What love is this?
You gave Your Only Son
And shed Your blood
For Your people

What love is this?
You love the world
Even being dark and sinful
And turning its back to You

What love is this?
You gave us Your Word
You give us Your love
You give us Your spirit
You give us Life

Who are we
That You thought of us
And planned our lives
Before creating the world?

Who are we
That You are always with arms open,
With a heart that's ready to love,
And a cure for our problems?

What love is this, tell me
Teach me about it
Let me feel it deeply
Show me Your wonders

Your perfect plans have no end
And Your dreams for us continue
Even if we overlook Your desires
You never turn away from us

This world is becoming darker
With each passing day
But You came with the Light
With the Way, the Truth, and the Life

And You showed us mercy
You showed us forgiveness
You showed us true holiness
What love is this?

I will live asking
What love this is
That the Father has for us
And for the world
That lives for Him
And breathes His Works

I will live giving thanks
For the family I've been given
For the healing He's given
For the blessings in my life
The growth He has allowed me to have
And the Life he gave for us

I will live my life
Because of Him
I will live my life
For Him

Because He loved the world so much
That He gave His one and only Son
So that no one perishes
But has eternal life in Him

He cries with us
He laughs with us
He loves with us
But He especially heals us

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This is a christian poem. It was inspired by a couple days filled with blessings from God. There were two occasions where I prayed for I think half an hour in those days with a group, and there were preachings along with those prayer moments in those groups. The preaching really touched me, but what came into this poem are the words I said while praying. The phrases that really touched me that I said while praying were "What love is this?" and "Your perfect plans have no end." The talk about healing was one of the preachings. When I said "What love is this?" while praying, I kept imagining a dark sphere that represented the world. I kept wondering how God could love that... How can He love people who spit at His Words and laugh at the sound of His Names and Love? But that's why He's God, and that's why we praise and worship Him. In conclusion, this poem was influenced by a couple days of God, and the words that came out of my mouth to praise and glorify His Name.

Miss Mystery

I'm gonna go
Find that special one
Go running towards her
That mystery girl

When I see her, I'll know
We'll look at the stars
And walk down the beach
And feel the burning in our hearts

I'll meet her parents
And she'll meet mine
And whether they like it or not
We'll live lives intertwined

That day won't have an awkward kiss
That day will live in eternal bliss
I'll see that angel fly slowly down the aisle
And know she's meant for me

I'll find her, that girl
I'll solve this mystery
And in case I don't find her
I just hope she's looking for me

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This poem was a spontaneous one, I think that makes two by now (july 19). By "spontaneous", I mean I wrote it while I was writing on my blog out of nowhere. Both were made right before I got off. The first one is "These Tears" and, obviously, this is the second. I was talking about that girl that liked me but never told me, and realized I had urges to go out with girls I see (not in a normal way). It could have been because I missed my opportunity with the February Girl (that's what I call her), so I want to take every chance I get, but it could be something else. So I was just about to finish the post and wrote "I'm gonna go", but then I thought of it in another way when I read it over. I thought of it like "I'm gonna go do something," not "I'm gonna get off." Also, "We'll live lives intertwined" is from another poem of mine and the "awkward kiss" thing is from that same poem. I thought it fit quite nicely in this one.

Could It Be?

How many hearts must I break
How many faces should I remember
How many hands should I hold in mine
Until I find Her?

Could it be the one passing by?
Could it be that quiet, gorgeous girl?
Could it be my vice?
I wish I knew

I wish I could know
Which one I can hold forever
Which one I should whisper to at night
Which one?

But why should I worry?
I'm way too young
I have my friends
And they'll keep my company

I don't trust myself
Maybe I'm not ready
I could let myself into someone's heart
Just to realize I want out

Those broken hearts should hold on
Hold to the best of the memories
While I try to forget
That I abandoned them all

I wish I could say sorry
I wish I could make happiness
But it happened already
And there's no turning back

Why do I write these words?
Why do I need to shed these tears?
Shakespeare was wrong
I wish I never loved at all

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This poem is full of questions in it, so a title that is a question seems to work just right. It was the second poem made in school in Brazil, and it was a continuing expression of my sadness towards the situation with the girl who liked me but never told me. I thought about how hurt she must have been, and at the time I was talking to an ex that basically hated me and says she can't have a healthy relationship after me. I was annoyed that I had to go through all of this junk and then I had to let another girl down with this. I listened to John Mayer and really liked, and cried to, "Clarity" and "I Don't Trust Myself". Then came the first part of the poem, and the rest along with it.

Invisible Colors

You could have kissed me
You could have told me
No one could have known
How I wish I did

It was that loving month
In which it all started
But how was I left out?
You forgot to mention me

We could have made it
We could have been one
Instead of two strangers
Gazing at each other’s eyes

It wasn’t your fault
We were both too scared
You left
But I never stopped you

I wonder if I’ll ever see
The endless blue ocean
That lives in those crystals
Those precious stars
Ever again

I was wrong
You were wrong
But together
We were right

Will I ever be able to touch
That skin that floated by?
Will I ever be able to glance
At your cherubic face again?

I know I didn’t fight for you
But I wish you had for me
I wish those crystals would have looked back
And shown me their true colors

Now only time will tell
Only the future has the answer
To the fatal question
Of what would have been
And what might be

Without knowing it
You soldiered on
But I noticed your march
And saw wings

Without knowing it, you broke it
But it’s better to know
That we had an invisible something
Than believe we had nothing

From here, I have invisible tears
For our invisible selves
And only prayers that you come back
To make us see each other

Transparent hearts
How tiring
Secret glances
How frustrating

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It all started with a gorgeous girl at my school who was leaving when the year ended. I thought she was really pretty, but I thought she didn't like me and I thought it wouldn't go anywhere, so I made nothing of it. On May 31st (the day after the last day of school), she sends me a message over the internet and tells me she liked me since February. She said she never told me because every day she thought "no, today isn't the right day" and on graduation day she looked for me but didn't have much luck. On the last day of school, I left early and she saw me leaving and wanted to say she liked me but she was already crying from the emotion of moving so she decided against it. I was so shocked with this news that I thought it was a joke at first. I had to read the message multiple times before I took it in, and I... overreacted. I cried and thought that if she had told me, we could have had something. I even wrote another poem. But that's another poem for another post.

Those Stars, Those Eyes, And

I recommend taking a whole breath out loud wherever you see three little dots. Go on; you know you want to.

That night
That morning
And all the time inbetween
That we spent together

That dress you wore
Those earrings I gave you
That smile I love to provoke
And those lips... those lips

Stars seemed to fall from the sky
Into your eyes
And for a moment, heaven and earth
Were woven together for us

While you were in my arms
While my eyes drowned into yours
While you said three words
And those lips... those lips

Fire seemed to burn in my blood
And beat in my heart
Destiny had joined heaven and earth
Into us both

You took me away
Into those eyes
With that liquid stare
And those lips...
Brought me to life

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This song was inspired by Adriana Calcanhoto, a brazilian singer, when she says in a song "heaven and earth were joined together in a moment for us both." I thought that those words were rly beautiful, and one day in school in Brazil, I wanted to write a poem. I was really stumped, but thought of this song and started writing. Thinking that the heaven-earth thing is really pretty, I decided to keep it in the middle or end of the poem for more impact. When I re-read it before, I wanted to put more dots after every "those lips," but thought that more than three would be ugly.

Just Kiss Me

So don’t make this
An awkward kiss
Press your lips onto mine
Let’s live lives intertwined

My love is yours
Till the end of time
Take this spot in my heart
And make me whole

Tonight I’ll show you
Just how much I love you
And tomorrow you’ll see
That you were meant for me

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I was listening to Dashboard Confessional, a song called "The Best Deceptions," when I thought of this poem. The song says "This awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips will be of service to giving you away," and the music is beautiful. So I thought of this, at some late time of night at a beach house in Brazil, and immediately got my laptop and wrote it down. I still sing it as if it's the song by Dashboard when I read it.

Lifelong Contradictions

So many nights
And so many days
I’ve looked into that mirror
With those streams down my face

That person looking back at me
Was never who I wanted to be
But even with my cries and pleas
No one remembers the infidelities

There’s something wrong with me
And though I know it’s not worth thinking
I ponder the reason of my breathing
And question whether this breath
Only comes with tears

It seems I’m only alive in front of that mirror
When I see that face, it seems so real
Everything before and after
Just seems so painful

With the reflection seeming so innocent
And the reality being so painful
Having both in the same moment
Is the only real thing I can feel

Breath and tears
Only come in pairs
Like sadness and loneliness
You can’t have life without despair

Why can’t I live without that mirror?
Why can’t I see the reality without the reflection?
Why does this rage need to have the sorrow afterwards?
This life… is nothing but death

Nothing but death…
Nothing but reflections…
Nothing but sadness…
Nothing but breath and tears

Evaporation is the name of this life
Dissipation is its ultimate goal
Powerful and great, it rises
Only to be forgotten the next minute

Nothing
But
Immense
Wounds
Followed
By
Exploitation

Nothing but death

Screaming and wishing for quiet
Crying and wishing for more
Feeling rage and only feeling sadness
Living life, but only prolonging death

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What triggered this poem was this: I just got into the bedroom I shared with my brother in Brazil at night and my bro turned off my laptop when it was in the middle of a scanning process. And that could seriously mess the laptop up, so I got mad and hit the wall. Before, I always thought people that hit things when they got mad were just stupid, but now I know better. Then I sort of stepped on him, he slapped me, and in the end, I dominated the fight. I kept the laptop open and my brother was complaining about the light, and had an elevated voice while he was complaining. When I turned off the laptop, I got really sad and confused and angry and frustrated. This led me to ponder what the opposite of anger is, but at the moment I came to the conclusion that anger just is. I questioned why God hadn't answered some of my prayers and thought I would never be happy with who I was, thinking of what has just happened. Before I wrote the actual poem, I wrote this sentence: Living your life is like screaming for silence; you can get the result you’re looking for but in the end, you’d just be a hypocrite.

Cherished Company

All I need
Is one day
To tell you how much
You make me laugh

One day to list the stupid things
The funny faces, the idiocy
That we make
And the trouble we get into

Have the happiest life
With an endless amount of birthdays
And though I won’t always see you
I'll always be with you

And you'll always be with me
Even if we become separated
I’ll look back to these days
And remember the fun and smiles

We go beyond that, though
I'll look back to the talks
To the comfort I found in you
And the hand I tried to lend

Out of place?
Never with my friend
Upset with no one to help me?
Never with you by my side

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This is a poem I made for my friend, who was having a birthday. This is a pretty special poem; I can only think of two poems off the top of my head that I actually made for people (excluding the poems to Melody). I always have a blast with the person this poem is meant to be for, so I kinda talked alot about the laughing and smiles. Caitlyn is a cool girl.

Son of Perfection

Hallelujah
Let the angels sing (Angels will sing)
Hallelujah
Let His people praise (His people will praise)
Hallelujah
Lift His Name (His name is lifted)
Hallelujah
Honors forever and ever

Rejoice
He has arisen
Rejoice
He has saved us all
Rejoice
He has given us love
Rejoice, you people
You can be lifted

And so here comes the rain
Falling down with love
Feeling the drops of tears
You feel the grace and purpose

The water washes it away
The darkness tries to hide
But the floodgates have opened
And we will drown in its grace

Praise be to His Name
Humility be to ourselves
Glory be to the Son of God,
Of Man, of Love, of Mercy…

Of Grace

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I made this poem in Language Arts class. I actually made a couple of my poems in Language Arts class, in 8th grade. It was my first class of the day, so maybe I feel inspired from the bus drive filled with music. Well, I usually don't really know what inspired my "christian poems." Maybe becuase christianity is a pretty big part of my life so stuff like this is common... Or maybe I just don't really think about what made me write these poems, because they're not really specific... They're usually just giving thanks.

Breakdown

The wounds on this mountain don’t seem to fade
The scars in the crevices don’t go away
The causes of these wounds don’t facilitate anything
And the erosion doesn’t help either

The sides of this mountain show its battles
The ground around it show its defeats
Littered with the result of entropy
Growing, yet withering away

Yet the curves still live
The beauty of life resides
The light still barely shines
And the jagged edges help keep the pain away

The edges are the walls
The protection against more pain
Keeping the pain from hitting hard
And if it hits, it’ll get hurt back

Leaves fall
Mountains crumble
The light fades
And death lives on

This is supposed to be somewhere in the poem:

Slow and peaceful
It flies by without warning
No eye can see
But the soul can feel

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Basically, this poem is talking about how this "mountain" (anyone's life) is slowly dying and the battles just keep coming. In the end it says how death just comes and you can fight it all you want, but it still goes on. The last "misplaced" stanza is talking about is either life or death... I'm not sure. I'm not so sure where to put it because I wrote it a day or two after I wrote the poem, and I thought it fit in the poem, but I didn't know where.

A New Home

I don’t deserve Your love
I can’t know Your grace
I won’t feel distant from You, Lord
Because You are great

You’ve given me so much
Convinced by Your touch
I know You’re with me
And so I try

I try to bring something
Of worth, of happiness
But I don’t feel like anything is worth
What You’ve given to me

Thank You, Lord
I’ve been lost so many times
But Your path calls to me
Thank You, Lord
Because You take care of me

Even before birth
You have given me so much
Even before age of comprehension
You've blessed me

So don’t leave me, Lord
I know You won’t, but I ask
That You stay close
Stay close and don’t let me stray

I fell and You lifted me up
I turned away and You showed me the path
I stood up and You showed me humility
I lived here, but You gave me
A new Home

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I don't remember much about this poem, but I know that I wrote two "christian poems" in a cuople days, and this is one of them. I always talk to God in titles; I say "Lord" alot and I capitalize the "y" in "you", to show that it's someone important. I only do that when I'm talking to or about God, really.

Strong but Marvelous

I only wanted to see Your face
Climb and hear You speak
But, Lord, I fell
Lift me up, my Father

Fulfill Your promises
Work in me, give me
A pure, holy love
Only Your love is able to be given

In darkness You found me
My Strength, my Water
My Joy, hide me
In the shadow of Your wings

My Love, don’t leave me
Purify me, eternal and holy are You
Strong enough to save me
Marvelous enough to forgive me

Bring me to where Your light
Shines with passion, with love
In Your arms, my Father
I want to stay forever

Who, Lord, except You
Can love me so?
Who dries my tears
And never leaves me alone?

I want to hear, want to see
Your voice, Your face

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This poem was first made in portuguese, then translated into english just for you! As it's hard to keep a poem's original beauty in it's original language, this poem is not as good in english as it is in portuguese. I remember writing this on the way to church, just like "Horrible Heartache". I remember this one guy going with us in the car and I was wondering if he was looking at my poem. I'm not sure what inspired me to write this poem.

Atheist Loneliness

I’m tired of being alone
I’ve been alone for so long
And when I finally found someone
It turned out to be my reflection

So I thought I had people
People who would never leave
But this train doesn’t stop
It comes by and takes them away

I thought I was fine
There were no defects, no lies
But that in itself was a lie
And it only hurt me more

Knowing I’ve been living
With myself and no one else
The reality hurts, but it’s necessary
So now I need to go

Find someone, at least something
Religion?
Religion…
I’m sick of receiving a title by it

I feel myself parting
From that lifestyle
I find myself drifting
To the sin

Scared, I just take a taste
But that’s all it takes
To suck you in
To keep you trapped

To keep your life in guilt
In a despair, in a feeling
Of depression, of hopelessness
Religion? It hurts

But so does life
And if reality hurts
Then religion is nothing but reality
Take His love

As for me
I have to fix myself
I’ve asked for help
But it’s been like talking to no one

So religion?
It’s gone for a couple days
But I still guard my mind
Careful not to turn to my reflection

Yet again

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This was inspired by pure desire to just write a poem. We had a substitute in Social Studies class and no one was doing what they were supposed to do, and sooner or later we had free time. I just sat there, listening to John Mayer, and decided to write SOMETHING. This was the day after I wrote "These Tears", and on my blog I said that this poem is "a pretty good description of wut i was feeling last nite, after the lights were turned off and I was in bed, trying to sleep." The first title I gave this poem was "My Reflection," but I changed it later on.

These Tears

With these eyes of tears
I will sleep
Sleeping farther away
From the reality

Running in my thoughts
To security
Running as fast as I can
To somewhere safe

In my mind, rest assured
It’s my mind
In there I know everything’s fine

Where my heart is
Is where the pain is
Where my past is
Is where the guilt is

Living years
With this burden on my back
This brute of a past
Plaguing my thoughts and future

These tears fall in vain
There is no way to stop them
And they fall with no purpose
Except to show the deepening of my own depression

This lie of a life
This hole in an ocean
No one knows
And because no one knows
No one can really care

They can’t know
I can’t let them
These things shouldn’t be known
They shouldn’t be told

Let them stay hidden
In the expanses of my mind
In the outrage of my guilt
How these thoughts plague my life

I can’t change them
I sure as hell can’t move them
I can’t diminish them
So I have to feel them

Feel them in a deepness
That leaves my eyes dry
Feel them until I can’t feel them again
Until they are forgotten

But they always come back
Somehow, they torture me night and day

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Everyone has their secrets. Some more than others. One night, I was talking to a friend about how I have many secrets that I would like to tell people so that they know the real me, and she asked me "If no one knows the real you, can they be your real friends?" At first, I thought it was crazy talk, but a couple minutes later, I took it to heart. I started to cry and ran to my blog, where I sat and listened to "In Repair" by John Mayer and typed the lyrics as I listened. Then I said "well good nite. with these eyes of tears i will sleep", and from there it started.

Ego

I think I seek attention
I think I might think of myself too highly
I think I’m too genuine to be false
I think I’m generally too good to be bad

And yet I think these things
And feel no shame
No resentment
No sense of ego

I might be self-obsessed
But does it matter?
I’m a good person
So why can’t I think so myself?

But I still contradict myself,
Telling myself that
These thoughts aren’t modest
They aren’t pure

They can’t be good and pure
IS it fair to judge yourself among others?
Is it fair to put down others in your own mind?
If they don’t perceive it, is it wrong?

Of course it is
And I feel no shame
No guilt or sorrow
Should I?

When the time comes
The time of judgment everyone knows
I will put myself below others
I will supersede the needs of those around me

But until that time comes
In the here and now
I’m not sure if my thoughts are true
If they should be changed or not

They are my own
And unless I choose to,
I don’t need to share them
These hidden words are mine alone

Am I living the way I’m supposed to?
The answer may be hidden in the stars
Or buried beneath the earth
Maybe deep in the ocean

I will never know
So I will stop trying to
I can only take life as I want
And hope I’m living righteously

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This poem didn't start as a poem, actually; I was just writing things down as stuff to put on my blog for later. But I guess I saw a pattern and wrote and wrote. I think everyone has their own little sense of pride. But I also believe we all need to keep that pride in check. This is one of the moments in which I was doubting whether or not I did "keep that pride in check."

I’ll Get You Through

When you’re tired
When you’re enraged
When your legs can’t take another step
When your heart heart can’t love anymore

Come to me
Into my arms
And we’ll stay in this euphoria
Together

Forget the stress
Forget the world
Forget the friends
And look into my eyes

Look to me
In times of pain
And we’ll fall together
Into utopia

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One of the poems I wrote Melody while we were dating. I always felt a little distant from her while we were dating, so I think this was a way for me to reach out to her. I wanted her to know that I cared for her.

The Heaven of This World

If I said I love you
If I said my passion burns for you
If I said you were beautiful
What would you do?

If I said I think of your kiss
If I said I look at you from afar
If I said your smell is intoxicating
What would you do?

Say yes, come here
Take my hand
And let’s take a ride
In the heaven of this world
That is our love

My love continues burning
Your rough days will be easier
Your sadness will disappear
Just go on a trip with me

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I wrote this in Brazil, while I was just wondering what to do. It is originally in portuguese, and as I am not a professional translator, it's not really as beautiful as it is in portuguese. Nonetheless, it's here and it's a decent poem. Once again, it didn't have anything to do with what was happening with me at the time.

Horrible Heartache

I should have seen your eyes in the moonlight
I could have seen your body next to mine
But you left me here, empty-handed
Stranded at the end of our journey
All alone

We could have lived in our own utopia
I would wake up and sleep with you by my side
The thought of your eyes brings me purest happiness
Please, come to me
Once more

Kiss me, deeply, just kiss me
Hold me, forever, just hold me
Stay here, my darling, stay here
Close to my heart please stay

We could have lived in our own utopia
I would have slept and woken with you by my side
I don’t understand this horrible heartache
Come back to me
Once again

I wanted to have spent eternity with you
I wanted your hand in mine
But you don’t want me, you don’t love me
Oh, what a fool I have been

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This all started with my brother messing around with his guitar. He was just plucking some strings and i kinda learned the music and sang some notes to go along with it in my head. I thought it was really pretty, and thought of the first line of this poem, which obvisouly started as a song. I ran to my room and got a notebook, and wrote all of the 40-minutes drive until we got to church. It didn't relate to anything that was happening with me, but it turned out very nice. This is one of my favorites.

My Addiction

Your body entices me
Your lips are my addiction
Your eyes the only thing I want to see
Your personality a fascinating enigma

Your embrace keeps me warm
From the cold reality of it all
Your words I want to hear
In times of pain

Your laugh is like music
It brings a smile to my face
You are my addiction, so don’t leave
Stay with me, and I'll stay with you

I'm glad you’re mine
And I am yours
Stay here
And don't go

How I love to be with you
With you in my arms, I feel safe
With you in my sight, everything fades
You're the only thing I see

So don't leave me here
With my heart in my hand
Take me with you
Into your arms

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This is a poem I made while I was dating someone. I sort of wrote poems to her non-stop. So much so that she said they got a little tiring.

Someone

I'm at a loss for words
I want to fill this blank page
I want to tell you just how I feel
And not hear you argue

I want to just look at you
Until I fall in love
I want to want you so bad
Until you're the one I'm with
Forever

And yet I can't bring myself to love,
To like you as I thought I did
I wish I could help
I would do anything to help

But what do I want?
Let's flip the camera around

I want a girl who knows
Just what to say, just what to do
Who will love me with my bed-head
And all my imperfections

Can you be that someone?
I messed up the first time
But not today, oh today
Is up to you

"Are you that someone?"
I should be asking
She's out there, that someone
Hiding from my sight

I'm waiting for her, that someone
While my life moves on, I'll wait here
For the girl of my dreams
Waiting for that angel made mortal

With all your feelings
With all the temptation
I don't know whether to hold you
Or search for that someone else

With all our wants alike
We still live worlds apart
With our hearts in the same place
But still a thousand miles away

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This was a poem about the ex that I talk about in "Look and See". Even though we broke up, we saw each other sometimes and talked, both of us doubting whether we should have split up in the first place. When we started to talk about getting back together, one of my friends was very much against this and I felt so annoyed that I wrote this poem. I never showed her the poem and we ended up not getting back together. The last stanza is one of my favorite stanzas I've written.

Look and See

I look at the stars
I look at the moon
I look at the sunset
But all I see is you

I see your arms and think comfort
I see your eyes and think beauty
I see you and think perfection
Oh, how can I be this soft-hearted

Let's go right now
Go to the batman bench
And lay in each other's arms
Through the afternoon

Make the most of us
Make the most of now
Let's be together
Until the end

It's my dream to be with you
And be by your side
To have you here forever
And live in eternal love

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This was a poem that I wanted to make into a song for my girlfriend at the time. I pictured myself singing it to her with my hands trembling and just hoping she would like it. Unfortunately, she broke up with me in the middle of making the song, even though the poem was finished. I didn't change a word, and I showed it to her as "the poem you never read".

Embrace Me Forever

With you I always want to be with
In your presence I want to stay
It's You I seek, all the time
Every day

Into Your arms I run
In Your courts I praise
Your love no one could give
Your heart no one could own

In times of dark it's You I seek
I seek Your embrace
In all this dark, You come
And You give me light with Your love

To me Your embrace is like a blanket
Your love like the fire of a thousand suns
Protecting me always
And You watch over me forever

How I want to be with You
And with You only
I wish we were alone always
In Your presence I want to stay

This world tears us apart
It drives me insane
But then I look to You
And your smile

You give me your heart
Your kindness and strength
Your courage
And always, Your love

I want You in my life
Always
In Your presence I want to stay
Forever

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This poem was made one 8th grade morning. I remember thinking about God and I just felt really grateful for everything. I started writing and noticed tears came to my eyes will my hand moved the pencil along the paper. I was really proud of it and showed it to as many people as possible; many of them thought it was about a girl. I eventually made it into a song and sing it in my head everytime I read it, even though it's not that good.

My New Heaven

I don't feel the darkness
I don't fell the hate of a "friend"
I don't feel like I'm alone anymore,
Stranded on Earth's end

I only see that around me
And now I want that to stop
And I feel like if I don't,
They'll never feel like I do

I used to live in a world of pain
A world where I thought had no meaning
Except to torment me night and day
Awake or dreaming

I know some people feel like that
Others probably feel worse
And I'm here to tell you
That I can't possibly know how you feel

But somewhere out there, there's one who does
One being that knows all about you and more
One who knows everything
More then you could from lore

He's everywhere
Some think he doesn't exist
Others don't think he loves them
But let me be a witness to everyone

That he can make you happier than you never thought possible
He has done things that I thought no-one can do
He can make miracles and can change your life
Just remember that God is always with you

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Now this is a night I remember clearly. This is definitely one of those ideas that came in the middle of the night. I explain about these in the "Those Words" post, but this night was great. I realized that my life had changed so much since the past year or two (it was probably in 7th grade) and that I was lucky that God allowed it to happen in my life. I vaguely remember that I wished I had more moonlight to see what I was writing.

Those Words

I now know I don't have to fall into never-ending darkness
And feel this never-ending pain
I don't have to do either of these things
Because what do I gain?

I now know not to hear other people's words of spite
Or their words of jealousy
And feel never-ending sorrow
And wake up with hate tomorrow

I now know I should feel pity on those who try to bring me down
Because if I don't, I'll be filled with rage
But when I do, I'll look back here
To read this poem from this page

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Back in the 6th and 7th grade, I would have these amazing ideas in the middle of the night. Whether they were beginnings of poems or just cool things I could try out, I just kept thinking of stuff while I was trying to sleep in bed. I think this poem was one of the ideas I had. It was during the transition of 6th to 7th grade, and I remember reading it at the beginning of 7th grade to my whole Language Arts class. After I read it, people asked me questions like "Are you emo?" and "What happened?" It's pretty weird what a poem can do to someone's thoughts of you. Well, I think it's my first great poem.

Darkness

Darkness is everywhere
Whether it's here or there,
It's killing
It's in our minds, our hearts,
And our souls.
But wherever it is
One thing is for sure
Darkness is everywhere

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I was, and partly still am, very proud of this poem. The beginning came to me during lunch in 6th grade, and i tried to go with it from there. Since I had no paper or pen, I had to repeat it to myself until I could go back to class to write it down. I remember being anxious for my Language Arts teacher to read it. She must have thought I was crazy.

Inside

Hate is something that everyone feels
Whether you like it, or not
And there's no way to get rid of it
Even if we keep it all inside

But sometimes you can't keep all that hate inside
And you just wish you could escape from all that darkness
There's no way out and you're just filled with rage and sadness
But that anger comes from people who are heartless

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I remember writing this poem in 6th grade, the blooming of my poem-writing life. Having a pretty horrible 5th grade, 6th didn't look so promising. I wrote alot of these "darkness" poems until about the end of 7th grade. I think that I would have liked to have had as much confidence as the poem suggests at the end.

When Will You

Roses aren't red
Violets aren't blue
My world is upside-down
And yours might be too

My life sucks
And yours might also
But we can help each other
So we won't be filled with sorrow

I love you but you don't understand
All you do is sit still
But you won't understand
Practically no-one will

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This is the first poem I ever wrote. One day, I saw my sister, Ana, either reading or writing poetry. Before, I heard about how much fun she had in poetry class and this and that, and became interested. I ran to my room, realizing there's a way out of the hole of a life I was living (my 5th grade was horrible, to me). I came out with this poem.

Identities

Who am I?
Who should we be?
What is the world?
What is life?

I am the embodiment
Of my past experiences
Of the people I listen to
And the ideas I reflect

We should be who we want
But not what we want
Use wisdom to see
What is worth being

The world isn't what it should be
Just a line of imperfections
Just a shadow of the light
A reflection of what should be

Life is a trek of occurrences
Think of the destination
Think about the end
And see where you end up

I am the corrections of my past
We are who we choose to be
The world isn't what we paint it as
And life is all but a destination

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This poem was made for a poem and story booklet that the 8th grade made called "Literati". I didn't make it into their first edition, and being devastated, I was determined to submit every poem I've ever written and then some. Looking over their first edition, I saw they liked these philosophical poems with symbolism; not really my style. I made this one in hopes that it fit their tastes; oddly enough, this one didn't make it, but a couple others did.

Charity

My heart is fragile
It is broken
My heart is shown
Put up on a spotlight

This heart of mine
It is so sentimental
This heart of mine
Is so unreal

I gave to everyone
Till I have no more
None for myself
None for Him

I give myself to others
And don’t pay attention to myself
I have to lift these blinds
Lift my eyes to the truth

While I look in the mirror
I find the miserable truth
I see I need to care about others
But also about myself

My heart needs me
And I need my heart
I can’t foolishly give it away
Just like I’ve been doing

I need to stop giving
And I want some pieces back
These pieces could get broken
My heart is too fragile for this…

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If my memory serves, this poem was made because I had no time to spend with just one person and talk to them. My week was always divided between groups of friends, and I could never just really connect with one of them. I noticed that I was just trying to make them all happy and not even realizing that I was indirectly hurting myself in the process by never really getting close to any of them.

Inseparable ties

Inseparable ties
Irreplaceable memories
The bond we had was inseparable
The love we shared could not have been broken

Then you lied
You left it all to me
You held my heart in your hand
And ignored it

The joy we had was amazing
The laughs we shared,
The days we cherished
The memories we now reminisce about

You left that all behind
And forgot me
You failed to tell me the gap that was between us
And the separation that you had begun

We need to cherish these few moments
The moments we have left
Come back to me
Come back to us

If you leave, and you shall
Know that I will always remember you
You will always hold a special place in my heart
I will cherish those days

Make the most of these last few moments
Cherish these last few days
Come to me and forget the world
Let’s have now what we had then

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This poem was made when a friend of mine told me that one of her friends was treating her quite... unfriendly. Her friend was moving and didn't even speak to her anymore. The story she told me about the situation impacted me so much that I felt compelled to write a poem and it turned out that this poem was exactly what she was feeling.

Presence

This following poem was made as a little part of a science project. Beautyberry is a type of plant.

Original version:

Entrancing colors are all I see
The flight it seems to possess
The feeling of awe in its presence
Beautyberry was made perfectly

By the hand of God it was created
And in our minds it will stay
In our hearts it will remain
In our eyes it will display perfection

Revised, not-so-corny version:

Entrancing colors are all I see
The flight she seems to possess
The feeling of awe in her presence
She was made perfectly

By the hand of God she was created
And in my mind she will stay
In my heart she will remain
In my eyes she will display perfection

Basically, I just changed the plant for a girl. Not very hard to understand. But I do like the poem in general. Pretty short and simple.

Why

Once again I find myself
Placed on this blank page
With my thoughts reeling
Emotions feeling

My thoughts run
But run with no meaning
They run from the reality
From what is to what should be

My emotions drive me
They push me, pull me
I want to abandon them
On this road called Life

When I feel overcome
When I can't hold on by myself
I stretch my hand to you
Take my hand in yours, Poetry

You are where I can speak and feel
Never can I do this in public
And never shall you abandon me
I trust in you, sweet poetry

The beauty of emotions
Is frightening and captivating
And is displayed in you
As close to words as possible

And so I turn to you
My poetry
To show what I feel
To tell of my ordeal

I have been so lonely
No one has been near
And those who have don’t see
They don’t hear

My struggle, my plight
This mystery that landed by chance
Bombing my heart into pieces
Hear of my fight

This journey of Life
So fluctuous
Ups and downs, highs and lows
Seems more like a roller coaster

Never at a steady pace
Never in a sure way
Never with the best intention
And it always hurts me

Stop this thing
I want to get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in

Some one please
Speak to me
Take me out of this trance
Off of this ride

Take me away
Bring me to fantasy
To a place only angels know
Where sorrow dies and love grows

To a light-stricken place
I shall steal away to
Leave back my insecurities
Desert my past

Free myself of this reality
Break free from these chains
Forget the ways of behind
And look only ahead

So stop this ride
Take me off and bring me home again
To where hate withers
And I can feel freely

Where I am not restricted
And humanity does not discriminate
Bring me to that sacred place
Bring me Home

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This poem was made during my little mini-depression, in which I cried hysterically for no reason while listening to John Mayer's "Stop This Train" mostly. This poem was influenced by another poem I found on the internet. I was searching for something to cry about, and boy did I find it. It had three parts and this poem was, on paper, originally made in three parts. To date, (july 18th) it is the longest poem I made.

First Post

This first post is dedicated to explaining the reason for this seperate blog in the first place. This blog is created for the management and placement of my poems, maybe even some critique. I hope to have this thing up and running very soon... And with each poem having "labels", things with I don't use in my normal blog. These labels make it easier to find a specific poem. Then again, you could always use CTRL+F and type in the title of the poem or a couple words from the poem... Anyways, I think this is getting too formal, so I'll let the poems speak for themselves. Hope you like them.