The silent ongoing of people
Everywhere
Is so irritating, insistive
Pointless
I just wanna be nowhere
Be nothing today
I just wanna be nowhen
Especially back then
Be a light
Perhaps dark
Liquid
No life
Liquid
It's too late
The waterfall is here
And light now
Has made it's way out
I am here: prison
Liquid cage
Envelop, transform
Make me another
Make me again
Someone else
The same
Both
Neither
Nothing
Liquid nothing
--------------------------------------------------
This poem is so weird. I love it. I think I was listening to "Be ok" by Ingrid Michaelson when I wrote it. The waterfall is me, or rather a part of me that keeps me so different from people, isolated. And I don't want it, because it's so dark. But I want to be myself at the same time. Ultimately, I want this part of me to go away, to just die. It's a poem for the confused. And yes, I did make up the word "nowhen." If Shakespeare could make up words, so can I =]
Monday, March 23, 2009
Dead Faith in Deadly Chains
My life is but a dream
An interstellar mirage
Mirrors, smoke, and seams
Dressed up to fool me
Nothing is real
Nothing absolute
All is dead
All irresolute
I am not myself
You are not human
We live a dead life
Walking the dead plain
There's no freedom,
Is there?
There's no escape
Only the imprisonment
Of life
--------------------------------------------------
This is a poem I wrote just to say how life feels like a trap. Like a prison. You have nowhere to go... And when you think all is fine, it just seems like a lie or a fake. A dead hope.
An interstellar mirage
Mirrors, smoke, and seams
Dressed up to fool me
Nothing is real
Nothing absolute
All is dead
All irresolute
I am not myself
You are not human
We live a dead life
Walking the dead plain
There's no freedom,
Is there?
There's no escape
Only the imprisonment
Of life
--------------------------------------------------
This is a poem I wrote just to say how life feels like a trap. Like a prison. You have nowhere to go... And when you think all is fine, it just seems like a lie or a fake. A dead hope.
Why Can't Life Leave?
What do you do
When you don't know
What's wrong with you?
What do you say
When they ask, "What's wrong,"
Every single day?
How do I die
If I want to live?
How can I smile
When I want to cry?
Someone show me
Someone change me
Kill me now
I can't do it myself
Hurt me now
So I can hurt forever
Flames around...
What a life I lead
What a lie I live
What smiles we fake
What depression life makes
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. The stanza that starts with "hurt me now" basically says 'kill me so I can rot in hell.'
When you don't know
What's wrong with you?
What do you say
When they ask, "What's wrong,"
Every single day?
How do I die
If I want to live?
How can I smile
When I want to cry?
Someone show me
Someone change me
Kill me now
I can't do it myself
Hurt me now
So I can hurt forever
Flames around...
What a life I lead
What a lie I live
What smiles we fake
What depression life makes
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. The stanza that starts with "hurt me now" basically says 'kill me so I can rot in hell.'
Remake My World
I wish I could say
What is in my heart
I wish I could tear
My whole life apart
Kill it to mend it
Burn to relieve
I just want to hurt
So I can believe
Believe in the sadness
Believe in the minds
No, believe that all is dead
All is so blind
Idiotic, pointless
That's all life is
Lifeless, lazy
Is conformism
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. The beginning states how I want to just re-do my whole life. Examine it piece by piece and right my wrongs. The second-to-last stanza states that I want to believe in people and their intelligence, but that would be believing in lies.
What is in my heart
I wish I could tear
My whole life apart
Kill it to mend it
Burn to relieve
I just want to hurt
So I can believe
Believe in the sadness
Believe in the minds
No, believe that all is dead
All is so blind
Idiotic, pointless
That's all life is
Lifeless, lazy
Is conformism
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. The beginning states how I want to just re-do my whole life. Examine it piece by piece and right my wrongs. The second-to-last stanza states that I want to believe in people and their intelligence, but that would be believing in lies.
Scream Sadness
I'm sick of reading
Of writing, of breathing
Of eating and speaking
Of pretending to love
Of wanting, of hating
Of hearing and tasting
Of seeing and feeling
I wish I could feel
Feel sadness, only sadness
For all of my life
Pure sadness, impure
Give me my strife
For I have sinned
Done my deed
I cannot win
Make me bleed
Bleed sadness, only sadness
Red and maybe blue
Cry sadness, liquid sadness
In the sky, it falls so true
Die in sadness
Help me move
Through life
Without you
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. This has a bit of irony around it. "Pure sadness, impure," "sick of feeling... I wish I could feel." And I make sadness not only symbolizing blood but tears. The ending isn't saying that I want to live life without sadness; the whole poem is asking for it, so why would I do that? I want to live life without the struggle... I wanted sadness and nothing else; no conflict or guilt or anything. Anyways, I like this one.
Of writing, of breathing
Of eating and speaking
Of pretending to love
Of wanting, of hating
Of hearing and tasting
Of seeing and feeling
I wish I could feel
Feel sadness, only sadness
For all of my life
Pure sadness, impure
Give me my strife
For I have sinned
Done my deed
I cannot win
Make me bleed
Bleed sadness, only sadness
Red and maybe blue
Cry sadness, liquid sadness
In the sky, it falls so true
Die in sadness
Help me move
Through life
Without you
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. This has a bit of irony around it. "Pure sadness, impure," "sick of feeling... I wish I could feel." And I make sadness not only symbolizing blood but tears. The ending isn't saying that I want to live life without sadness; the whole poem is asking for it, so why would I do that? I want to live life without the struggle... I wanted sadness and nothing else; no conflict or guilt or anything. Anyways, I like this one.
Save Me, Leave Me
Words hurt my head
People break my bed
Down, I try to lay
Run, reach me today
Help me
Leave me to fend
For myself
Amend
Give me your heart
Then leave me alive
Leave me alone with
My reality contrived
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. It's not really my style... It's different than what I usually write. And when I say "Leave me alive," it's sort of saying... Let me live off you and your help but let me still have my own space and with my own world, my own 'reality.' Oh, and notice irony in the second stanza. I love irony.
People break my bed
Down, I try to lay
Run, reach me today
Help me
Leave me to fend
For myself
Amend
Give me your heart
Then leave me alive
Leave me alone with
My reality contrived
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. It's not really my style... It's different than what I usually write. And when I say "Leave me alive," it's sort of saying... Let me live off you and your help but let me still have my own space and with my own world, my own 'reality.' Oh, and notice irony in the second stanza. I love irony.
Invisible Ink
All these pieces of me
Are falling
I don't want to write poetry
I'm dying
No one cares
Until the tears fall
And then, they speak
It's too late, imbecile
I'm an open book by day
But when it rains
The words are wiped off
The page
I run away...
And I'll always run
Until that day when
They care without end
Not just when tears fall
Not just when smiles break
But when everything is ok
Whena ll is good
No one knows
Can anyone read?
--------------------------------------------------
I wrote this at school, just like most of my poems. After writing those last two lines, I thought that people might not get that by "can anyone even read," I meant "do people know when there's something wrong with someone?" So I added the "open book by day" stanza. It makes it clear that I am the book. And my tears are the rain that wipe my words off the page. It's just saying how I seclude myself when I'm sad or something.
Are falling
I don't want to write poetry
I'm dying
No one cares
Until the tears fall
And then, they speak
It's too late, imbecile
I'm an open book by day
But when it rains
The words are wiped off
The page
I run away...
And I'll always run
Until that day when
They care without end
Not just when tears fall
Not just when smiles break
But when everything is ok
Whena ll is good
No one knows
Can anyone read?
--------------------------------------------------
I wrote this at school, just like most of my poems. After writing those last two lines, I thought that people might not get that by "can anyone even read," I meant "do people know when there's something wrong with someone?" So I added the "open book by day" stanza. It makes it clear that I am the book. And my tears are the rain that wipe my words off the page. It's just saying how I seclude myself when I'm sad or something.
Waterfall Mirage
I'm focused ahead, alone
Wait
Someone's to my left
No, disappointment fills me
And my reflection cracks
I don't want to be here
Where no one shows they care
I don't want to know them
Take me to where people amend
I don't want to live here
Where no one understands
Take me to the place
Where everyone knows everything
Take me to rest
Then take me back one day
When the world has had enough
Of every feeling
For with love comes pain
And with the sun comes rain
Aren't smiles just frowns
Turned upside-down?
No one dares to run
In the clouds' tears
I bask in it
And wish the sun
To come again
No one dares to
Lend a hand
I always do
And wish they
Would lend one too
--------------------------------------------------
I saw water falling to my left one day and thought it was someone, but turned to see that no one was there. I thought it was pretty sad how I could even think that. I even made a poem out of it (apparently). In the first stanza, when I say my reflection cracks, I mean to say that my reflection is the person I "saw."
Wait
Someone's to my left
No, disappointment fills me
And my reflection cracks
I don't want to be here
Where no one shows they care
I don't want to know them
Take me to where people amend
I don't want to live here
Where no one understands
Take me to the place
Where everyone knows everything
Take me to rest
Then take me back one day
When the world has had enough
Of every feeling
For with love comes pain
And with the sun comes rain
Aren't smiles just frowns
Turned upside-down?
No one dares to run
In the clouds' tears
I bask in it
And wish the sun
To come again
No one dares to
Lend a hand
I always do
And wish they
Would lend one too
--------------------------------------------------
I saw water falling to my left one day and thought it was someone, but turned to see that no one was there. I thought it was pretty sad how I could even think that. I even made a poem out of it (apparently). In the first stanza, when I say my reflection cracks, I mean to say that my reflection is the person I "saw."
Friday, March 13, 2009
Without Faith
Never knowing
Never going
Anything
Anywhere
The world is lost
Deprived of a future
Exhausted we are,
Say the old
Exhausted we are,
Say the working young
Tired are we,
Say the leaders
Dead is the hope
And the spirit of faith
Alone are the happy
Many are the weak
Alive are the strong
For dead are the meek
--------------------------------------------------
I added the last stanza way later after reviewing the poem and reading it again. I wrote it while on campus, just thinking about how pointless everything is. It's different than what I usually write, and I like it.
Never going
Anything
Anywhere
The world is lost
Deprived of a future
Exhausted we are,
Say the old
Exhausted we are,
Say the working young
Tired are we,
Say the leaders
Dead is the hope
And the spirit of faith
Alone are the happy
Many are the weak
Alive are the strong
For dead are the meek
--------------------------------------------------
I added the last stanza way later after reviewing the poem and reading it again. I wrote it while on campus, just thinking about how pointless everything is. It's different than what I usually write, and I like it.
Tell Me Forever
What about me?
What about when I need you?
What about when I'm alone?
What about you?
When will you get here?
Right before I'm about to jump?
Or when I am crying?
Or are you never coming home?
Listen to me
I have my friends,
But they're not the ones I need
Pay attention
I see you and long for the day
When you will see me too
In the way that I see you
Turn around and never turn away
Why won't you listen?
Shut up and hear me
Shut up and tell me it's alright
Shut up and hold me
Shut up, shut up
Just shut up, world
--------------------------------------------------
I have no idea what was going through my head... I think part of it had to do with social rejection and part with just sadness over everything. This is truly just one of those poems that were just emotional and sort of don't make sense.
What about when I need you?
What about when I'm alone?
What about you?
When will you get here?
Right before I'm about to jump?
Or when I am crying?
Or are you never coming home?
Listen to me
I have my friends,
But they're not the ones I need
Pay attention
I see you and long for the day
When you will see me too
In the way that I see you
Turn around and never turn away
Why won't you listen?
Shut up and hear me
Shut up and tell me it's alright
Shut up and hold me
Shut up, shut up
Just shut up, world
--------------------------------------------------
I have no idea what was going through my head... I think part of it had to do with social rejection and part with just sadness over everything. This is truly just one of those poems that were just emotional and sort of don't make sense.
Inanimate Beauty
I wish I was a windchime
Over the dead in a cemetary
Played by the wind,
Giving songs with no meaning
To those who feel meaningless
I wish I was a balloon
Flying higher and higher,
No need would confound me
I know only of flight
I wish I was a leaf
Growing and changing
And suddenly falling
In the middle of winter
To meet with all my comrades
I wish I was a raindrop
Pushed down by gravity
With the only purpose of landing
Touched by the wind,
I would inevitably descend
With my family and friends
Lifeless and beautiful
Meaningless and purposeful
I wish my life was like
A ray of sunshine
--------------------------------------------------
This poem is one of my favorite poems. Maybe even my all-time favorite. I was riding home one day from school, and my dad was talking to me about something. I was sad (shocker). And so I looked out the window and saw all these things, just inanimate and swaying and... being. A windchime, a balloon, a leaf, a raindrop; all of them had no worries, no troubles. All they have to do is do what nature intended them to do. They just ARE, and nothing gets in the way of that, and nothing gets in the way of what they do every day. And I wish I just did something constant every day, had a life as simple as an inanimate beauty.
Over the dead in a cemetary
Played by the wind,
Giving songs with no meaning
To those who feel meaningless
I wish I was a balloon
Flying higher and higher,
No need would confound me
I know only of flight
I wish I was a leaf
Growing and changing
And suddenly falling
In the middle of winter
To meet with all my comrades
I wish I was a raindrop
Pushed down by gravity
With the only purpose of landing
Touched by the wind,
I would inevitably descend
With my family and friends
Lifeless and beautiful
Meaningless and purposeful
I wish my life was like
A ray of sunshine
--------------------------------------------------
This poem is one of my favorite poems. Maybe even my all-time favorite. I was riding home one day from school, and my dad was talking to me about something. I was sad (shocker). And so I looked out the window and saw all these things, just inanimate and swaying and... being. A windchime, a balloon, a leaf, a raindrop; all of them had no worries, no troubles. All they have to do is do what nature intended them to do. They just ARE, and nothing gets in the way of that, and nothing gets in the way of what they do every day. And I wish I just did something constant every day, had a life as simple as an inanimate beauty.
Do You Fear?
Words like honey
Flow from the lips
Those which say
Many things
Words of joy
Of sadness
Words of faith
Of mistrust
How many lies
Will flow?
Have you hurt
The ones you know?
Or have you
Love unconditionally?
Do you give
To those who trust they'll see?
People never know
But some believe
--------------------------------------------------
I wrote this poem in church. Actually, while my dad was preaching. I was just questioning what was real and if what was being said is the truth. I stopped writing the poem and finished it later, after service was done.
Flow from the lips
Those which say
Many things
Words of joy
Of sadness
Words of faith
Of mistrust
How many lies
Will flow?
Have you hurt
The ones you know?
Or have you
Love unconditionally?
Do you give
To those who trust they'll see?
People never know
But some believe
--------------------------------------------------
I wrote this poem in church. Actually, while my dad was preaching. I was just questioning what was real and if what was being said is the truth. I stopped writing the poem and finished it later, after service was done.
You, Me, and a Future
You
So soon you came
And yet it felt like forever
Me
What an idiot I've been
I should have been there
But I'm here now
I can't believe we're here
Waiting and still enjoying the moment
I can't believe we have a future together
I can't wait until we fill our lives
With smiles
I'll let you know with every word
Every breath, every day, every move
That I'm completely into you
Let this never be over
Hold me, kiss me
Maybe just gaze
So I can feel
What I know is real
What I know you feel
But for now suffice it to say
I want you at the end of the day
And I want you here through it all
My triumphs, rises, and falls
We'll do this like no one else
Our story will be epic
Our lives will be woven
Our hearts will be one
Your smile shines away the sorrows
And those laughs seem to pass the time
If we live in this future,
Maybe I can make your wrong days
Seem right and we will climb
They'll all wish they were us
But we don't care
We'll never dare
To leave the other there
--------------------------------------------------
Inspired by me and Amanda, but I sort of exagerated a bit and made it like a head-over-heels sort of thing.
So soon you came
And yet it felt like forever
Me
What an idiot I've been
I should have been there
But I'm here now
I can't believe we're here
Waiting and still enjoying the moment
I can't believe we have a future together
I can't wait until we fill our lives
With smiles
I'll let you know with every word
Every breath, every day, every move
That I'm completely into you
Let this never be over
Hold me, kiss me
Maybe just gaze
So I can feel
What I know is real
What I know you feel
But for now suffice it to say
I want you at the end of the day
And I want you here through it all
My triumphs, rises, and falls
We'll do this like no one else
Our story will be epic
Our lives will be woven
Our hearts will be one
Your smile shines away the sorrows
And those laughs seem to pass the time
If we live in this future,
Maybe I can make your wrong days
Seem right and we will climb
They'll all wish they were us
But we don't care
We'll never dare
To leave the other there
--------------------------------------------------
Inspired by me and Amanda, but I sort of exagerated a bit and made it like a head-over-heels sort of thing.
Meeting a Star
Emotions
That I never knew
Are brewing
What are you doing?
I'm a little confused
I don't know what to do
But I know I'm fine
With my arms around you
I'm completely ok
With those words you say,
The ones that don't matter,
They make my day
My mind has changed
I can't forget you
So come fly with me
In the skies so blue
We'll shine like the sun
And be as beautiful as the moon
Our hearts will guide us like stars
And we'll sing our own tune
I used to hurt,
To worry, to cry
But then I saw
A star in the sky
It came down to greet me
It told me I'm amazing
But I couldn't form words
I just kept on gazing
The person inside you
Is who I want to meet
Let it out, show me
And make me complete
--------------------------------------------------
This was written in the beginning of my relationship with Amanda. Just to explain a part of the poem, she told me I was amazing one day.
That I never knew
Are brewing
What are you doing?
I'm a little confused
I don't know what to do
But I know I'm fine
With my arms around you
I'm completely ok
With those words you say,
The ones that don't matter,
They make my day
My mind has changed
I can't forget you
So come fly with me
In the skies so blue
We'll shine like the sun
And be as beautiful as the moon
Our hearts will guide us like stars
And we'll sing our own tune
I used to hurt,
To worry, to cry
But then I saw
A star in the sky
It came down to greet me
It told me I'm amazing
But I couldn't form words
I just kept on gazing
The person inside you
Is who I want to meet
Let it out, show me
And make me complete
--------------------------------------------------
This was written in the beginning of my relationship with Amanda. Just to explain a part of the poem, she told me I was amazing one day.
Deluded by the Self-Centered
Those up-turned glasses
See-through, glorious, and shining
All those demented cups
In the middle,
Or the outside, in actuality,
Lies the down-turned glass
Centered on itself
It needs neither companion nor foe
It has everything it requires
She sees them all
Those exuberant pieces of glass
And chooses the self-centered
In all these choices
She chooses the one who is
The worst intentioned
Her special glass
She doesn't let anyone near it
Only she may drink
She takes pride in her choice
And wants it to be proud
Of her choosing of him
Did she not see?
The glass was a selfish entity
He would not give her pride
She delighted in him
While he forgot she chose him
She shouldn't have picked him
He should have stayed empty
But she desired past the expected
And received only pain
--------------------------------------------------
This was just inspired by one glass. It was just upside down, and I went to get a cup and then I thought that it was kind of cool. I just made this poem into something about a girl who likes a guy that doesn't like her back. A guy that doesn't really care about anyone than himself, really.
See-through, glorious, and shining
All those demented cups
In the middle,
Or the outside, in actuality,
Lies the down-turned glass
Centered on itself
It needs neither companion nor foe
It has everything it requires
She sees them all
Those exuberant pieces of glass
And chooses the self-centered
In all these choices
She chooses the one who is
The worst intentioned
Her special glass
She doesn't let anyone near it
Only she may drink
She takes pride in her choice
And wants it to be proud
Of her choosing of him
Did she not see?
The glass was a selfish entity
He would not give her pride
She delighted in him
While he forgot she chose him
She shouldn't have picked him
He should have stayed empty
But she desired past the expected
And received only pain
--------------------------------------------------
This was just inspired by one glass. It was just upside down, and I went to get a cup and then I thought that it was kind of cool. I just made this poem into something about a girl who likes a guy that doesn't like her back. A guy that doesn't really care about anyone than himself, really.
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