Are you insecure?
Do you ever feel alone?
What about when their eyes
Seem to see into your bones?
Are you overconfident?
Do you wish you were?
Stop pretending, people can
See through the lies
Here I am, the biggest
Hypocrite of them all
Playing it cool,
Saying, "those fools,"
While inside, I'm nothing
Here I sit, the biggest
Pessimist of them all
Playing the cards,
Saying, "they're not dealt right,"
When before, I was
Who mixed them
My insides
Betray my eyes
And my wants only speak
Infidelities to my thoughts
My legs take me
To places I don't
Want to go
While my mind tells me
It knows where it's going
It knows...
Here I write, the biggest
Dreamer of them all
Wishing I was
The cool guy, strutting down
All those eyes following him
Like flies on a summer day
And like flies,
They'll only bother
But I can't help wanting
What is there
And like irony,
My mind smothers
What remains in my heart
And says it wants
Something else
--------------------------------------------------
I was listening to Jimmy Eat World's song "Always Be," and seeing the music video at the same time. There was a comment that was talking about the main guy character of the video, and that he was a nerd or something. I could relate. This poem is pretty obvious. I know that the popular, gorgeous people have problems of their own and I probably shouldn't want to be them, but I can't help it. Every teenager can't help it, I think. Unless they're a popular, gorgeous person. I don't know why, but I already make a heirarchy in my mind of the people at school- the coolest on top. And it's apparent that I don't feel I'm near the top, according to this. Oh, the "insides betray my eyes" part is just saying that what I want changes, because I know I shouldn't want to be what I see and sometimes I don't, but most of the time I do.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Trapped in Shadow
I looked above
Saw a baby in my head,
And I tried to tell it
To come outside.
But in this mystery
I'm not sure
Where that path resides.
Because the shadows
On the endless walls
That are my forever thoughts
Only show the truth;
That the light is casting
My mind in dreams,
And there I get lost.
Forever unconscious,
I wait for the time
When my soul gives birth.
In that momet,
Emotions will fly.
In that time,
I will die.
And in my place,
I'll see a face
And paint it in colors
Before unseen.
In the space
That was my grace,
Greater beauty
Will be made.
Bodies will burn
Then swim, intact
To show the world
They're more than matter.
Eyes will make
Thoughts before undreamed
To show professors
There is more to be seen.
More to be heard,
To be smelt and touched.
More to be made,
To weld, so much
More.
Release my mind
From this dream.
Or let me already
Be born into it.
--------------------------------------------------
This poem was written when I had my art brain on. It is about art. The baby in the beginning is me expressing art; later when I say "when my soul gives birth," I mean when I express myself fully with art. And in pure art, amazing things can happen. I am saying, "when I express myself in art, emotions will fly in it and I will die because in my place, a creator is made." Sort of. But see, the walls are my thoughts. And the shadows on them are reflections of the light (art). My thought has shadows of it, and I can't fully bring it out. Which is why I'm calling the baby, asking myself to be born into creating something new. I think I wanted to paint.
Side note: I said "endless walls" and "forever thoughts" to say that the walls are my thoughts. The sentence doesnt make it clear if the shadows are my thoughts, of if the walls are. So I put in "endless" and "forever" to try to make it clearer and put a tie inbetween those things.
Saw a baby in my head,
And I tried to tell it
To come outside.
But in this mystery
I'm not sure
Where that path resides.
Because the shadows
On the endless walls
That are my forever thoughts
Only show the truth;
That the light is casting
My mind in dreams,
And there I get lost.
Forever unconscious,
I wait for the time
When my soul gives birth.
In that momet,
Emotions will fly.
In that time,
I will die.
And in my place,
I'll see a face
And paint it in colors
Before unseen.
In the space
That was my grace,
Greater beauty
Will be made.
Bodies will burn
Then swim, intact
To show the world
They're more than matter.
Eyes will make
Thoughts before undreamed
To show professors
There is more to be seen.
More to be heard,
To be smelt and touched.
More to be made,
To weld, so much
More.
Release my mind
From this dream.
Or let me already
Be born into it.
--------------------------------------------------
This poem was written when I had my art brain on. It is about art. The baby in the beginning is me expressing art; later when I say "when my soul gives birth," I mean when I express myself fully with art. And in pure art, amazing things can happen. I am saying, "when I express myself in art, emotions will fly in it and I will die because in my place, a creator is made." Sort of. But see, the walls are my thoughts. And the shadows on them are reflections of the light (art). My thought has shadows of it, and I can't fully bring it out. Which is why I'm calling the baby, asking myself to be born into creating something new. I think I wanted to paint.
Side note: I said "endless walls" and "forever thoughts" to say that the walls are my thoughts. The sentence doesnt make it clear if the shadows are my thoughts, of if the walls are. So I put in "endless" and "forever" to try to make it clearer and put a tie inbetween those things.
Is There a Grey?
Your paper trails of sadness
Have led you up to here
Now, stuck in your mind,
Your thoughts show only fear
Fear that you won't grow
Won't know how to live
Fear that you will run
From what should be done
Afraid of the dark, held inside
Only to find light is there too
Afraid maybe that the light will die
And you'll be left in black
Afraid of yourself.
Find someone else
--------------------------------------------------
This was another "identity crisis" poem. It's just me, wondering if I'll never be someone 'good,' whatever that is. Afraid that I won't live a good life because of things I could do. The paper trails are poems, by the way.
Have led you up to here
Now, stuck in your mind,
Your thoughts show only fear
Fear that you won't grow
Won't know how to live
Fear that you will run
From what should be done
Afraid of the dark, held inside
Only to find light is there too
Afraid maybe that the light will die
And you'll be left in black
Afraid of yourself.
Find someone else
--------------------------------------------------
This was another "identity crisis" poem. It's just me, wondering if I'll never be someone 'good,' whatever that is. Afraid that I won't live a good life because of things I could do. The paper trails are poems, by the way.
Inbetween
My mind runs, but
Runs with no meaning
Except to find
Deluded seaming
Of the holes in my soul
My heart skips,
But only so lightly
As to not care
Where it plods
My soul flies
From guilt to glee
From Father to God
And back to mutilation
Why can we think
Thoughts so light that
They can be bounced,
But so heavy that
They should be renounced?
Why must we feel
Emotions so deceiving?
Implications, desires
Thought of the mind
But of the fire
Live for fire,
For that kiss?
Or live for thought,
The two-faced bliss?
Maybe neither,
But for a purpose.
One greater than my
Comprehension
Maybe both and the last,
Jumping inbetween,
Only waiting for someone
To tear at your seams
And cast you
Into
Truth
--------------------------------------------------
It's an inner struggle. I wrote it on a night when I couldn't sleep. I remembered a poem I wrote that started like this, "my mind runs but runs with no meaning" or something like that. So I decided to write another version, with another message. Well it might actually be the same, but anyways. The heart skipping part is saying that I feel things I shouldn't. I go from one emotion to another, not caring- even though I should. Bouncing thoughts = jumping from one thought to another. That's pretty easy to figure out. The desire thing... well you get the picture, I think. It's my problem, always, thought in the mind but of the fire. The fire that is passion. That's a wayyyy too used up metaphor, but who cares? I'm 15, I can write what I want. Oh, and thought is the two-faced bliss because there's never just one side in arguments. There's never just "This is right and not that." Also, if you think too much, that's a problem- because although you're sort of smart-ish, more creative or at least more something than people who don't think as much, you still might not relate to people as others will. Different views on the world don't help in making friendships, but you can't think too little either. The "purpose" I talked about is the one God has for all of us, which is why it's greater than comprehension. And the last stanza speaks of my situation. In the beginning of the poem, I said I find deluded seaming in my soul. So "Tear at your seams" in the end was a clue that this is the situation I'm in. I did that in another poem, where the relative word (in this case "seam" or "seaming") was "corner." Anyways, that's all I'm doing- waiting for someone to throw me into some sort of truth. I'm just making up my own truths, saying this is ok for now and saying it's wrong later. I'm waiting for judgment, almost begging for it in this teeter-totter that is... well everything about me.
Runs with no meaning
Except to find
Deluded seaming
Of the holes in my soul
My heart skips,
But only so lightly
As to not care
Where it plods
My soul flies
From guilt to glee
From Father to God
And back to mutilation
Why can we think
Thoughts so light that
They can be bounced,
But so heavy that
They should be renounced?
Why must we feel
Emotions so deceiving?
Implications, desires
Thought of the mind
But of the fire
Live for fire,
For that kiss?
Or live for thought,
The two-faced bliss?
Maybe neither,
But for a purpose.
One greater than my
Comprehension
Maybe both and the last,
Jumping inbetween,
Only waiting for someone
To tear at your seams
And cast you
Into
Truth
--------------------------------------------------
It's an inner struggle. I wrote it on a night when I couldn't sleep. I remembered a poem I wrote that started like this, "my mind runs but runs with no meaning" or something like that. So I decided to write another version, with another message. Well it might actually be the same, but anyways. The heart skipping part is saying that I feel things I shouldn't. I go from one emotion to another, not caring- even though I should. Bouncing thoughts = jumping from one thought to another. That's pretty easy to figure out. The desire thing... well you get the picture, I think. It's my problem, always, thought in the mind but of the fire. The fire that is passion. That's a wayyyy too used up metaphor, but who cares? I'm 15, I can write what I want. Oh, and thought is the two-faced bliss because there's never just one side in arguments. There's never just "This is right and not that." Also, if you think too much, that's a problem- because although you're sort of smart-ish, more creative or at least more something than people who don't think as much, you still might not relate to people as others will. Different views on the world don't help in making friendships, but you can't think too little either. The "purpose" I talked about is the one God has for all of us, which is why it's greater than comprehension. And the last stanza speaks of my situation. In the beginning of the poem, I said I find deluded seaming in my soul. So "Tear at your seams" in the end was a clue that this is the situation I'm in. I did that in another poem, where the relative word (in this case "seam" or "seaming") was "corner." Anyways, that's all I'm doing- waiting for someone to throw me into some sort of truth. I'm just making up my own truths, saying this is ok for now and saying it's wrong later. I'm waiting for judgment, almost begging for it in this teeter-totter that is... well everything about me.
Alone in a Pain Unseen
Thunder strikes
And limbs crack
The heart explodes
In defeat
The things wanted
Are worthless
People looked at
Are longed for
Why do I want
That which I condemn?
Why do I make
Me hate myself?
What keeps me drawn
To this sadistic addiction?
Why do I see temptations
All around me?
What can I do?
I don't want this
What can I say?
No one understands
I see their eyes
Their arms, everything
I see temptation
Only masochistic
For it destroys me
I writhe in seeing.
I know I can't have
What is before me
I know they aren't like me
I know I'm not to be this way
I know I'm wrong
But it never stops
I never stop, they never stop
I always look, they always don't
I always hope, they never know
I kill myself this way
Eternally... for a hope
And only one so sadistic
As to wish for someone else
To suddenly have it too
And only one so masochistic
As to have it destroy me
Every single time
--------------------------------------------------
This is just about my spiritual struggle and, obviously, temptation. The "eternally..." part is hinting towards the price of sin, hell. This poem was inspired by a day waiting at church and it was cloudy. I looked up at a tree, after being sad about temptation and things, and imagined a thunder-bolt hitting the tree, as a metaphor for what I feel.
And limbs crack
The heart explodes
In defeat
The things wanted
Are worthless
People looked at
Are longed for
Why do I want
That which I condemn?
Why do I make
Me hate myself?
What keeps me drawn
To this sadistic addiction?
Why do I see temptations
All around me?
What can I do?
I don't want this
What can I say?
No one understands
I see their eyes
Their arms, everything
I see temptation
Only masochistic
For it destroys me
I writhe in seeing.
I know I can't have
What is before me
I know they aren't like me
I know I'm not to be this way
I know I'm wrong
But it never stops
I never stop, they never stop
I always look, they always don't
I always hope, they never know
I kill myself this way
Eternally... for a hope
And only one so sadistic
As to wish for someone else
To suddenly have it too
And only one so masochistic
As to have it destroy me
Every single time
--------------------------------------------------
This is just about my spiritual struggle and, obviously, temptation. The "eternally..." part is hinting towards the price of sin, hell. This poem was inspired by a day waiting at church and it was cloudy. I looked up at a tree, after being sad about temptation and things, and imagined a thunder-bolt hitting the tree, as a metaphor for what I feel.
Learn to Fly
Stuck in the window
Thought rushing
In the wind
This window is me
But should I step
Into another reality?
Feel another breath,
Hear another wind.
Find more than myself
In this passing life
I wonder if people
Share my stares
I ponder if
They even care
They sit in their worlds
And I want to get in
I blink, not understanding
All coherency in the wind
Their looks are different
Their interests, not the same
I long to find a same breath
That makes me fly, untamed
But maybe that's the point:
Fly in the other wind.
For flight in our own
Will only ever be a glide
Constant and unchanging
Are the thoughts of self.
New and lifting
Are the ponderances of many
I don't make sense here
Because I'm stuck in a glide
I need to free myself
Breathe a breath not mine
--------------------------------------------------
This is the complete opposite of the poem called Sanctuary, two posts down. This is saying that you should read out to people instead of being closed off inside yourself all the time. Sometimes I do feel that my thoughts just keep repeating in this glide that never ends. You know what's funny? The poem inbetween this one and Sanctuary is the one that says how my mind contradicts itself all the time. Talk about coincidence.
Thought rushing
In the wind
This window is me
But should I step
Into another reality?
Feel another breath,
Hear another wind.
Find more than myself
In this passing life
I wonder if people
Share my stares
I ponder if
They even care
They sit in their worlds
And I want to get in
I blink, not understanding
All coherency in the wind
Their looks are different
Their interests, not the same
I long to find a same breath
That makes me fly, untamed
But maybe that's the point:
Fly in the other wind.
For flight in our own
Will only ever be a glide
Constant and unchanging
Are the thoughts of self.
New and lifting
Are the ponderances of many
I don't make sense here
Because I'm stuck in a glide
I need to free myself
Breathe a breath not mine
--------------------------------------------------
This is the complete opposite of the poem called Sanctuary, two posts down. This is saying that you should read out to people instead of being closed off inside yourself all the time. Sometimes I do feel that my thoughts just keep repeating in this glide that never ends. You know what's funny? The poem inbetween this one and Sanctuary is the one that says how my mind contradicts itself all the time. Talk about coincidence.
A Constant Battle
It's all so pointless
No, don't think like that
I just want to surrender
No, you can keep going
I want the strings to bury me
No, they don't need to
The orchestra will play my last breath
You'll speak it to those you love
I want the people to see
They do
I want them to go away
That only hurts them
Stop speaking
No, I'm always here
Stop breathing
I'm always near
Give me my peace
I won't leave you
I just need space
I love you too
Go
No more fighting
Just go
--------------------------------------------------
This is the discussion that goes on in my head. There are many times when I think something, and my head retorts with something that contradicts it. Or that says I'm wrong. So I'm telling myself I'm wrong. Anyways, it's really annoying and sometimes gives me headaches, so I decided to write about it one day.
No, don't think like that
I just want to surrender
No, you can keep going
I want the strings to bury me
No, they don't need to
The orchestra will play my last breath
You'll speak it to those you love
I want the people to see
They do
I want them to go away
That only hurts them
Stop speaking
No, I'm always here
Stop breathing
I'm always near
Give me my peace
I won't leave you
I just need space
I love you too
Go
No more fighting
Just go
--------------------------------------------------
This is the discussion that goes on in my head. There are many times when I think something, and my head retorts with something that contradicts it. Or that says I'm wrong. So I'm telling myself I'm wrong. Anyways, it's really annoying and sometimes gives me headaches, so I decided to write about it one day.
Sanctuary
Old and old
Getting older
Shining
In glory
The walls have done their job
The roof, a warning to rain
Outside, the elements rage
Much to their disdain
Inside the fire curls
While the air breeds warmth.
Prolific paintings
Show their all-being
The mirrors playfully mock
Their intent gazers.
The curtains expertly stop
Hate from entering
Inside, feelings breed
Emotions of dread
Outside, demons feed
On glee of the wed
Hide yourself inside
Let no one see you.
Make yourself within
A wall no one sees through
They'll eat you up, they will
Their claws and their hate
They'll kill creativitiy
Make your fear their bait
The fire's warm
And curtains rustle
In the inner breeze
Of peace
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the few poems that weren't stirred by some random emotion. I went on a trip to a city sort of near Maceió in Brazil and went into the hotel. I went into the room I was to share, and saw a drawing. It was of a house, and there was no background. Around it, there was just the white of paper, unwritten on. The house stood there so... peacefully, I guess. And I remember that a friend of mine asked me to write a poem when I'm happy, but since I wasn't exactly happy, I settled for the feeling "inspired." And I wrote this poem, about how peace is found inside yourself, where other people can't hurt you. If you give yourself to others, they can drop it and break you for all you know. Inside, things grow and live.
Getting older
Shining
In glory
The walls have done their job
The roof, a warning to rain
Outside, the elements rage
Much to their disdain
Inside the fire curls
While the air breeds warmth.
Prolific paintings
Show their all-being
The mirrors playfully mock
Their intent gazers.
The curtains expertly stop
Hate from entering
Inside, feelings breed
Emotions of dread
Outside, demons feed
On glee of the wed
Hide yourself inside
Let no one see you.
Make yourself within
A wall no one sees through
They'll eat you up, they will
Their claws and their hate
They'll kill creativitiy
Make your fear their bait
The fire's warm
And curtains rustle
In the inner breeze
Of peace
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the few poems that weren't stirred by some random emotion. I went on a trip to a city sort of near Maceió in Brazil and went into the hotel. I went into the room I was to share, and saw a drawing. It was of a house, and there was no background. Around it, there was just the white of paper, unwritten on. The house stood there so... peacefully, I guess. And I remember that a friend of mine asked me to write a poem when I'm happy, but since I wasn't exactly happy, I settled for the feeling "inspired." And I wrote this poem, about how peace is found inside yourself, where other people can't hurt you. If you give yourself to others, they can drop it and break you for all you know. Inside, things grow and live.
Realization of Truth
It's funny how four words
Can change your life
How they can enter your mind
And multiply your strife
Things seemed like velvet
Pointless, but enjoyable.
With just a tear at the seams,
I am broken from my dreams
I am ripped
You've cut right through me
The sad thing is
It's the best, truly
I always said you deserved better
But I never wanted to believe it
And your words of emotion
Always proved me right
Now your voice of reason
Multiplies my strife
I am ripped
You gnawed at my bones
The sad thing is
I have to let you go
Maybe I'm too sensitive
Perhaps you're too angry
Mayhap it shouldn't matter
I want you to be with me
So different, life with you
I don't want it another way
So strange, the words so new
They turned skies blue into deep gray
The best that is with me
Is never known as good
Until I feel life without it
Until I know I should
Shoulda known I wasn't good enough
Not to make you stay
Known that in some odd way,
You'd fly from whence you came
And keep running away
--------------------------------------------------
This is a poem about relationship problems. The second-to-last stanza is basically reiterating that famous saying that you don't know what you have until you lose it. OH, and mayhap ACTUALLY IS A WORD. I used it to combine the anger and sadness of the two people in the poem (to say anger and sadness together isn't a problem, the two people should be together). I wrote "maybe I'm too sensisitive / Perhaps you're too angry." And then I combined the two, to try to say something inbetween the lines, and didn't realize mayhaps is actually a word. But it is!
Can change your life
How they can enter your mind
And multiply your strife
Things seemed like velvet
Pointless, but enjoyable.
With just a tear at the seams,
I am broken from my dreams
I am ripped
You've cut right through me
The sad thing is
It's the best, truly
I always said you deserved better
But I never wanted to believe it
And your words of emotion
Always proved me right
Now your voice of reason
Multiplies my strife
I am ripped
You gnawed at my bones
The sad thing is
I have to let you go
Maybe I'm too sensitive
Perhaps you're too angry
Mayhap it shouldn't matter
I want you to be with me
So different, life with you
I don't want it another way
So strange, the words so new
They turned skies blue into deep gray
The best that is with me
Is never known as good
Until I feel life without it
Until I know I should
Shoulda known I wasn't good enough
Not to make you stay
Known that in some odd way,
You'd fly from whence you came
And keep running away
--------------------------------------------------
This is a poem about relationship problems. The second-to-last stanza is basically reiterating that famous saying that you don't know what you have until you lose it. OH, and mayhap ACTUALLY IS A WORD. I used it to combine the anger and sadness of the two people in the poem (to say anger and sadness together isn't a problem, the two people should be together). I wrote "maybe I'm too sensisitive / Perhaps you're too angry." And then I combined the two, to try to say something inbetween the lines, and didn't realize mayhaps is actually a word. But it is!
Journey Inside Myself
Running through
Turning corners.
Racing again
Trying to find you
Stuck like glue
Seeing actions
Gaping in horror
Trying to find you
Looking through
Here and there
Finding things
But looking for you
The perfect me
The real me
Are you out there,
Hiding in the corners
Of my mind?
Playing with the tide
All games, no threat
But I wonder,
Would you fret?
Singing songs not mine,
Crying tears not true,
Wondering if I'm happy.
What if this is you?
Maybe in pages,
Where emotions play free,
I'll find pieces and make
The only true me
Lost in the nothingness
That is myself
A conundrum, only amplified
By the constant searching
Are you out there?
When will you take my soul?
I'm tired of being
Who I only might be
Why don't you show yourself?
I'll then see me
Give me the real mirror
I keep seeing the ones on-screen
Solve the never-ending quest
Of meeting a me unseen
--------------------------------------------------
The beginning is saying that I'm inside myself, but I act like I'm someone else. I'm seeing things (my actions, my life), being stuck like glue (nervous), gaping in horror (well, that speaks for itself), having all these things happen to me but I'm not really part of it. It feels like it's someone else doing all that, and I get to live their lives. So then the search for myself begins. The "corners of my mind" part in the fourth stanza was a clue that in the beginning, I'm "turning corners" in my head, in myself. This whole poem is a plea for identity. Maybe I'm sort of strong like that guy on tv, but still sensitive like this guy in that book. That sort of thing. I don't think like that, but I am desperate to just be myself at times. And most of the time, I don't know who that is.
Side note: None of this is exagerated (except maybe the 'taking my soul' part... and calling myself 'nothingness').
Turning corners.
Racing again
Trying to find you
Stuck like glue
Seeing actions
Gaping in horror
Trying to find you
Looking through
Here and there
Finding things
But looking for you
The perfect me
The real me
Are you out there,
Hiding in the corners
Of my mind?
Playing with the tide
All games, no threat
But I wonder,
Would you fret?
Singing songs not mine,
Crying tears not true,
Wondering if I'm happy.
What if this is you?
Maybe in pages,
Where emotions play free,
I'll find pieces and make
The only true me
Lost in the nothingness
That is myself
A conundrum, only amplified
By the constant searching
Are you out there?
When will you take my soul?
I'm tired of being
Who I only might be
Why don't you show yourself?
I'll then see me
Give me the real mirror
I keep seeing the ones on-screen
Solve the never-ending quest
Of meeting a me unseen
--------------------------------------------------
The beginning is saying that I'm inside myself, but I act like I'm someone else. I'm seeing things (my actions, my life), being stuck like glue (nervous), gaping in horror (well, that speaks for itself), having all these things happen to me but I'm not really part of it. It feels like it's someone else doing all that, and I get to live their lives. So then the search for myself begins. The "corners of my mind" part in the fourth stanza was a clue that in the beginning, I'm "turning corners" in my head, in myself. This whole poem is a plea for identity. Maybe I'm sort of strong like that guy on tv, but still sensitive like this guy in that book. That sort of thing. I don't think like that, but I am desperate to just be myself at times. And most of the time, I don't know who that is.
Side note: None of this is exagerated (except maybe the 'taking my soul' part... and calling myself 'nothingness').
Feeding Chains of Thorns
Death
Take this side
That makes me care
For the hopeless
That makes me want
The immoral
That makes me cry
From hypocrisy
That makes me hope
That there's more
That makes me rebel
From the rules
That kills my whole
While only being part
That decides actions
For me
That I feed
That I hate
That I hope for
That I berate
That I miss,
Waiting for its kiss.
That I want to wither
And come back never
Help me.
Keep me
From making
It flower
--------------------------------------------------
This is a poem that talks about my spiritual struggle. I think that's all I'm gonna say, besides a little explanation about something. There's a tie between the wither in the second-to-last stanza and the flower in the last line, just in case you didn't catch that. It seems clear to me, but I'm the one who wrote it, so I'm just saying. Hope you enjoyed.
Take this side
That makes me care
For the hopeless
That makes me want
The immoral
That makes me cry
From hypocrisy
That makes me hope
That there's more
That makes me rebel
From the rules
That kills my whole
While only being part
That decides actions
For me
That I feed
That I hate
That I hope for
That I berate
That I miss,
Waiting for its kiss.
That I want to wither
And come back never
Help me.
Keep me
From making
It flower
--------------------------------------------------
This is a poem that talks about my spiritual struggle. I think that's all I'm gonna say, besides a little explanation about something. There's a tie between the wither in the second-to-last stanza and the flower in the last line, just in case you didn't catch that. It seems clear to me, but I'm the one who wrote it, so I'm just saying. Hope you enjoyed.
A Debt Unpaid
This is death
It must be death
I feel it
In corner of my mind
It grows inside
I feel myself living
But only dying on the way
Seeking self-pleasure
Getting nowhere
I feel myself breathing
But only taking in knives
They cut my whole
They erupt my life
Why am I cursed
With an addiction so wrong?
Who likes to feel
Tears of mourning?
Who lives to feel rivers
Flow and fall over pink hills?
Who dreams of losing the precious
Because they feel they deserve it?
When I cry, there is sadness
But only one so pure
When I cry, there is payment
For a life, impure
--------------------------------------------------
This was written on the dreaded plane ride to Brazil. I was so miserable. But not THIS miserable. Please understand that I exagerate in my poetry. But I did cry for basically no reason. What I learned from this poem, though, is that maybe I like sadness because it's a way to pay for what I think I did wrong. I know I like sadness, but I never understood, and am still in the process of figuring out, why. Oh, and the rivers are tears, the pink hills are cheeks. Just a little metaphor there for you.
It must be death
I feel it
In corner of my mind
It grows inside
I feel myself living
But only dying on the way
Seeking self-pleasure
Getting nowhere
I feel myself breathing
But only taking in knives
They cut my whole
They erupt my life
Why am I cursed
With an addiction so wrong?
Who likes to feel
Tears of mourning?
Who lives to feel rivers
Flow and fall over pink hills?
Who dreams of losing the precious
Because they feel they deserve it?
When I cry, there is sadness
But only one so pure
When I cry, there is payment
For a life, impure
--------------------------------------------------
This was written on the dreaded plane ride to Brazil. I was so miserable. But not THIS miserable. Please understand that I exagerate in my poetry. But I did cry for basically no reason. What I learned from this poem, though, is that maybe I like sadness because it's a way to pay for what I think I did wrong. I know I like sadness, but I never understood, and am still in the process of figuring out, why. Oh, and the rivers are tears, the pink hills are cheeks. Just a little metaphor there for you.
Treated as if Invisible
I just want someone to care
That's all the tears run for
I just want someone to dare
To lend a hand
Dare it, be brave
Show them you know
They exist
Don't be blind, reach out
See the pain behind
The blank stares
--------------------------------------------------
This is a message to all people who ignore others or anything. This was also made on the plane, when I was sad or something. The poem is telling people to lend a hand to the shy ones or the people who are picked on. I guess I felt that the plane was taunting me since I couldn't sleep for almost 24 hours. =P
That's all the tears run for
I just want someone to dare
To lend a hand
Dare it, be brave
Show them you know
They exist
Don't be blind, reach out
See the pain behind
The blank stares
--------------------------------------------------
This is a message to all people who ignore others or anything. This was also made on the plane, when I was sad or something. The poem is telling people to lend a hand to the shy ones or the people who are picked on. I guess I felt that the plane was taunting me since I couldn't sleep for almost 24 hours. =P
Jealousy Turns to Self-Pity
No one notices when you cry
No one cares if you die
No one knows the pain you feel
Maybe they don't feel anything
They're in their own worlds
In their lives, I can't exist
I can't want to know them
I can't want to be happy
To them, I don't matter
I don't notice
When they push away
When they dislike me
When I die
They know nothing
--------------------------------------------------
This was written at Spanish Conference, a trip that certain students take to compete in the spanish language. It was so annoying, because the division was clear. And I had no idea where I was to fit in. There were the junior girls who were always laughing. And then the two wanna-be-frat boys who paraded around them. And the other two, who were typical Pine View kids, and got along with everyone I guess. Then there were two other juniors (not part of the little girly group), who I was closest to. But I longed so much to be included in that other, "always laughing" crowd. What was it about me that repelled them? One night, this girl was telling a joke, and another girl of their little group asked if they should tell me. And she said I wasn't important enough or something. Honestly, I can't remember, but whatever she said was incredibly rude and I was not even three feet away from her. And she said it out loud. So I went outside, cried, came inside and wrote this. Jealousy is a cruel thing.
No one cares if you die
No one knows the pain you feel
Maybe they don't feel anything
They're in their own worlds
In their lives, I can't exist
I can't want to know them
I can't want to be happy
To them, I don't matter
I don't notice
When they push away
When they dislike me
When I die
They know nothing
--------------------------------------------------
This was written at Spanish Conference, a trip that certain students take to compete in the spanish language. It was so annoying, because the division was clear. And I had no idea where I was to fit in. There were the junior girls who were always laughing. And then the two wanna-be-frat boys who paraded around them. And the other two, who were typical Pine View kids, and got along with everyone I guess. Then there were two other juniors (not part of the little girly group), who I was closest to. But I longed so much to be included in that other, "always laughing" crowd. What was it about me that repelled them? One night, this girl was telling a joke, and another girl of their little group asked if they should tell me. And she said I wasn't important enough or something. Honestly, I can't remember, but whatever she said was incredibly rude and I was not even three feet away from her. And she said it out loud. So I went outside, cried, came inside and wrote this. Jealousy is a cruel thing.
Abuse for Personal Use
Pour salt in my wounds
Pour blood in my eyes
Show me this pain of yours
And leave me just to die
Hurt me, writhing pain
Again fills my soul
Not just my body, but
My emotional whole
Tell me why,
Please show me how
You do this
Let me go now
Are you badly hurt?
Poor baby, my child
Are you now crying?
You were tough for awhile
Be free of me,
Now I break the chain
That binds your heart
To my bloody pain
--------------------------------------------------
This is a message to all the people who use others. Sometimes people use their friends and don't realize that they shouldn't. It's not what I felt, but I've seen people be completely spent in many ways while trying to help their friends. Oh, and I think the word bloody is perfect for the end because hearts are worthless without blood. So the user is using the writer's pain to keep them going. Get it?
Pour blood in my eyes
Show me this pain of yours
And leave me just to die
Hurt me, writhing pain
Again fills my soul
Not just my body, but
My emotional whole
Tell me why,
Please show me how
You do this
Let me go now
Are you badly hurt?
Poor baby, my child
Are you now crying?
You were tough for awhile
Be free of me,
Now I break the chain
That binds your heart
To my bloody pain
--------------------------------------------------
This is a message to all the people who use others. Sometimes people use their friends and don't realize that they shouldn't. It's not what I felt, but I've seen people be completely spent in many ways while trying to help their friends. Oh, and I think the word bloody is perfect for the end because hearts are worthless without blood. So the user is using the writer's pain to keep them going. Get it?
A Hopeless World
There's something but it's only nothing
There's liquid but there's only ever blood.
In all that I thought was reality,
There was only ever a different truth
There's only rage in tears
Only death in this life
Only clouds inhabit the skies forever
The life in flight only lives a little while
Only deception in all we know
Only fake smiles in all the loud laughs
Only cries in the indifference
And tears in the endless ocean
Of painful
Sadistic
Emotion
--------------------------------------------------
The second stanza is trying to say that everything dies. Clouds will always be flying, but not birds. Or insects or planes or anything. We all die. And in the short time that we live, we only hurt everything around us.
There's liquid but there's only ever blood.
In all that I thought was reality,
There was only ever a different truth
There's only rage in tears
Only death in this life
Only clouds inhabit the skies forever
The life in flight only lives a little while
Only deception in all we know
Only fake smiles in all the loud laughs
Only cries in the indifference
And tears in the endless ocean
Of painful
Sadistic
Emotion
--------------------------------------------------
The second stanza is trying to say that everything dies. Clouds will always be flying, but not birds. Or insects or planes or anything. We all die. And in the short time that we live, we only hurt everything around us.
Rebirth
Pandemonium
Strikes the mind
The heart, the eyes
The light that blinds
The colors flash
The darkness fades
And life goes on
Somehow
It just came to my head and I thought it was really pretty, not to mention that you can interpret it in many, very different ways. What do you think it means?
Strikes the mind
The heart, the eyes
The light that blinds
The colors flash
The darkness fades
And life goes on
Somehow
It just came to my head and I thought it was really pretty, not to mention that you can interpret it in many, very different ways. What do you think it means?
A Plea for More
You wake me up, you know
Your eyes keep me locked
I'll never let you go
Your arms keep it blocked
The pain in my heart...
It goes away
The falling tears
Dried yesterday
Let's leave the future to decide
We don't need to die
For now just please stand by my side
Starting now, we won't cry
Stare at the stars
Hidden in my eyes
They're just reflections
Of the real ones
In yours
Never forget
That I'm much less
Without you
--------------------------------------------------
This is saying that the writer is much happier with that other person, and only wants that other person to be happy, together. It's asking the other person to take a chance, to risk being the writer's happiness. And sorry about the confusion with "writer" and "other person." It's just that usually I write poetry that is an exageration of what I feel. So I can't say that the poem is me speaking.
Your eyes keep me locked
I'll never let you go
Your arms keep it blocked
The pain in my heart...
It goes away
The falling tears
Dried yesterday
Let's leave the future to decide
We don't need to die
For now just please stand by my side
Starting now, we won't cry
Stare at the stars
Hidden in my eyes
They're just reflections
Of the real ones
In yours
Never forget
That I'm much less
Without you
--------------------------------------------------
This is saying that the writer is much happier with that other person, and only wants that other person to be happy, together. It's asking the other person to take a chance, to risk being the writer's happiness. And sorry about the confusion with "writer" and "other person." It's just that usually I write poetry that is an exageration of what I feel. So I can't say that the poem is me speaking.
Trapped with a Predetermined Ending
I don't belong here
With all these people in my head
I don't want to live here
Ever anymore
With all of their words
All their pointless laughter
Let me be free
Keep me from captivity
Let me escape
From what makes us smile
From what makes us cry
From that which leads to death
Let me escape from the inevitable
Or let me not be able to escape
Perhaps not being anything
Nothing
--------------------------------------------------
This poem is basically saying "I want to die, but I don't want to kill myself." There were many times when I just don't want to exist. I don't want to die, but I just wish I was nothing. I wished I had never been created into the prison called life.
With all these people in my head
I don't want to live here
Ever anymore
With all of their words
All their pointless laughter
Let me be free
Keep me from captivity
Let me escape
From what makes us smile
From what makes us cry
From that which leads to death
Let me escape from the inevitable
Or let me not be able to escape
Perhaps not being anything
Nothing
--------------------------------------------------
This poem is basically saying "I want to die, but I don't want to kill myself." There were many times when I just don't want to exist. I don't want to die, but I just wish I was nothing. I wished I had never been created into the prison called life.
Alone and Cripple
I'm merely man
I'm merely me
I'm merely broken
Beyond repair
Bleeding
Cracked
Burning
Beyond saving
Falling and dying
Into nothing
Into disgrace
Into myself
Won't someone listen?
Doesn't anyone care?
No, they've left
I am wandering nowhere
They are deaf to my cries
Blind to my fake smiles
Mute to speak comfort.
Yet I am paralyzed
I want to be ok
Set everything right
But now it's too late
When is refuge arriving?
Someone tell me
Hear me, hold me
Someone punish me
I'm always wrong now
--------------------------------------------------
I love the last stanza in this poem, which makes me like the whole poem. I mostly love that stanza because of the irony, of course.
I'm merely me
I'm merely broken
Beyond repair
Bleeding
Cracked
Burning
Beyond saving
Falling and dying
Into nothing
Into disgrace
Into myself
Won't someone listen?
Doesn't anyone care?
No, they've left
I am wandering nowhere
They are deaf to my cries
Blind to my fake smiles
Mute to speak comfort.
Yet I am paralyzed
I want to be ok
Set everything right
But now it's too late
When is refuge arriving?
Someone tell me
Hear me, hold me
Someone punish me
I'm always wrong now
--------------------------------------------------
I love the last stanza in this poem, which makes me like the whole poem. I mostly love that stanza because of the irony, of course.
A Waiting Dream
Rememeber when you were three
And you believed in
The tooth fairy?
She never came
But I'll give her your name
And she'll come running
Remember when you were seven
And you parents couldn't stop yelling?
I'll cover your ears
And make you forget
Remember the other night
When you were crying
About your future love?
I'm whatever you want me to be
I'll give you your dreams,
Just be with me
All your wishes
Will come true
I'll make them all happen
So smile, why don't you?
It's been so long
That you've been all wrong
Messed up, dressed up
So that you can hide.
Come out of the inside
I'm right outside the door
Even walking by the shore with you
Staring at the stars
And driving fancy cars for you
I am and will be
Whatever you want
--------------------------------------------------
This is a really REALLY old poem. And it's kind of sucks. I'm just putting it here because, well, I wrote it. And it's a poem, so I should put it here. Definitely not my best work though. The last line is the message of the whole poem.
And you believed in
The tooth fairy?
She never came
But I'll give her your name
And she'll come running
Remember when you were seven
And you parents couldn't stop yelling?
I'll cover your ears
And make you forget
Remember the other night
When you were crying
About your future love?
I'm whatever you want me to be
I'll give you your dreams,
Just be with me
All your wishes
Will come true
I'll make them all happen
So smile, why don't you?
It's been so long
That you've been all wrong
Messed up, dressed up
So that you can hide.
Come out of the inside
I'm right outside the door
Even walking by the shore with you
Staring at the stars
And driving fancy cars for you
I am and will be
Whatever you want
--------------------------------------------------
This is a really REALLY old poem. And it's kind of sucks. I'm just putting it here because, well, I wrote it. And it's a poem, so I should put it here. Definitely not my best work though. The last line is the message of the whole poem.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Hmmmm
I've written a lot of poems in the past couple months and haven't been posting. Sorry. I guess I just get too lazy to retype it all from my iTouch to here. I'll post some when I have the time inbetween homework and downloading new music and talking to people on aim. Again, sorry. =]
If you REALLY REALLY wanna read one of my poems, then scroll down and read those... What, you've read them already? Well, there's no harm in re-reading them. =]
If you REALLY REALLY wanna read one of my poems, then scroll down and read those... What, you've read them already? Well, there's no harm in re-reading them. =]
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Inner Deep
The silent ongoing of people
Everywhere
Is so irritating, insistive
Pointless
I just wanna be nowhere
Be nothing today
I just wanna be nowhen
Especially back then
Be a light
Perhaps dark
Liquid
No life
Liquid
It's too late
The waterfall is here
And light now
Has made it's way out
I am here: prison
Liquid cage
Envelop, transform
Make me another
Make me again
Someone else
The same
Both
Neither
Nothing
Liquid nothing
--------------------------------------------------
This poem is so weird. I love it. I think I was listening to "Be ok" by Ingrid Michaelson when I wrote it. The waterfall is me, or rather a part of me that keeps me so different from people, isolated. And I don't want it, because it's so dark. But I want to be myself at the same time. Ultimately, I want this part of me to go away, to just die. It's a poem for the confused. And yes, I did make up the word "nowhen." If Shakespeare could make up words, so can I =]
Everywhere
Is so irritating, insistive
Pointless
I just wanna be nowhere
Be nothing today
I just wanna be nowhen
Especially back then
Be a light
Perhaps dark
Liquid
No life
Liquid
It's too late
The waterfall is here
And light now
Has made it's way out
I am here: prison
Liquid cage
Envelop, transform
Make me another
Make me again
Someone else
The same
Both
Neither
Nothing
Liquid nothing
--------------------------------------------------
This poem is so weird. I love it. I think I was listening to "Be ok" by Ingrid Michaelson when I wrote it. The waterfall is me, or rather a part of me that keeps me so different from people, isolated. And I don't want it, because it's so dark. But I want to be myself at the same time. Ultimately, I want this part of me to go away, to just die. It's a poem for the confused. And yes, I did make up the word "nowhen." If Shakespeare could make up words, so can I =]
Dead Faith in Deadly Chains
My life is but a dream
An interstellar mirage
Mirrors, smoke, and seams
Dressed up to fool me
Nothing is real
Nothing absolute
All is dead
All irresolute
I am not myself
You are not human
We live a dead life
Walking the dead plain
There's no freedom,
Is there?
There's no escape
Only the imprisonment
Of life
--------------------------------------------------
This is a poem I wrote just to say how life feels like a trap. Like a prison. You have nowhere to go... And when you think all is fine, it just seems like a lie or a fake. A dead hope.
An interstellar mirage
Mirrors, smoke, and seams
Dressed up to fool me
Nothing is real
Nothing absolute
All is dead
All irresolute
I am not myself
You are not human
We live a dead life
Walking the dead plain
There's no freedom,
Is there?
There's no escape
Only the imprisonment
Of life
--------------------------------------------------
This is a poem I wrote just to say how life feels like a trap. Like a prison. You have nowhere to go... And when you think all is fine, it just seems like a lie or a fake. A dead hope.
Why Can't Life Leave?
What do you do
When you don't know
What's wrong with you?
What do you say
When they ask, "What's wrong,"
Every single day?
How do I die
If I want to live?
How can I smile
When I want to cry?
Someone show me
Someone change me
Kill me now
I can't do it myself
Hurt me now
So I can hurt forever
Flames around...
What a life I lead
What a lie I live
What smiles we fake
What depression life makes
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. The stanza that starts with "hurt me now" basically says 'kill me so I can rot in hell.'
When you don't know
What's wrong with you?
What do you say
When they ask, "What's wrong,"
Every single day?
How do I die
If I want to live?
How can I smile
When I want to cry?
Someone show me
Someone change me
Kill me now
I can't do it myself
Hurt me now
So I can hurt forever
Flames around...
What a life I lead
What a lie I live
What smiles we fake
What depression life makes
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. The stanza that starts with "hurt me now" basically says 'kill me so I can rot in hell.'
Remake My World
I wish I could say
What is in my heart
I wish I could tear
My whole life apart
Kill it to mend it
Burn to relieve
I just want to hurt
So I can believe
Believe in the sadness
Believe in the minds
No, believe that all is dead
All is so blind
Idiotic, pointless
That's all life is
Lifeless, lazy
Is conformism
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. The beginning states how I want to just re-do my whole life. Examine it piece by piece and right my wrongs. The second-to-last stanza states that I want to believe in people and their intelligence, but that would be believing in lies.
What is in my heart
I wish I could tear
My whole life apart
Kill it to mend it
Burn to relieve
I just want to hurt
So I can believe
Believe in the sadness
Believe in the minds
No, believe that all is dead
All is so blind
Idiotic, pointless
That's all life is
Lifeless, lazy
Is conformism
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. The beginning states how I want to just re-do my whole life. Examine it piece by piece and right my wrongs. The second-to-last stanza states that I want to believe in people and their intelligence, but that would be believing in lies.
Scream Sadness
I'm sick of reading
Of writing, of breathing
Of eating and speaking
Of pretending to love
Of wanting, of hating
Of hearing and tasting
Of seeing and feeling
I wish I could feel
Feel sadness, only sadness
For all of my life
Pure sadness, impure
Give me my strife
For I have sinned
Done my deed
I cannot win
Make me bleed
Bleed sadness, only sadness
Red and maybe blue
Cry sadness, liquid sadness
In the sky, it falls so true
Die in sadness
Help me move
Through life
Without you
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. This has a bit of irony around it. "Pure sadness, impure," "sick of feeling... I wish I could feel." And I make sadness not only symbolizing blood but tears. The ending isn't saying that I want to live life without sadness; the whole poem is asking for it, so why would I do that? I want to live life without the struggle... I wanted sadness and nothing else; no conflict or guilt or anything. Anyways, I like this one.
Of writing, of breathing
Of eating and speaking
Of pretending to love
Of wanting, of hating
Of hearing and tasting
Of seeing and feeling
I wish I could feel
Feel sadness, only sadness
For all of my life
Pure sadness, impure
Give me my strife
For I have sinned
Done my deed
I cannot win
Make me bleed
Bleed sadness, only sadness
Red and maybe blue
Cry sadness, liquid sadness
In the sky, it falls so true
Die in sadness
Help me move
Through life
Without you
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. This has a bit of irony around it. "Pure sadness, impure," "sick of feeling... I wish I could feel." And I make sadness not only symbolizing blood but tears. The ending isn't saying that I want to live life without sadness; the whole poem is asking for it, so why would I do that? I want to live life without the struggle... I wanted sadness and nothing else; no conflict or guilt or anything. Anyways, I like this one.
Save Me, Leave Me
Words hurt my head
People break my bed
Down, I try to lay
Run, reach me today
Help me
Leave me to fend
For myself
Amend
Give me your heart
Then leave me alive
Leave me alone with
My reality contrived
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. It's not really my style... It's different than what I usually write. And when I say "Leave me alive," it's sort of saying... Let me live off you and your help but let me still have my own space and with my own world, my own 'reality.' Oh, and notice irony in the second stanza. I love irony.
People break my bed
Down, I try to lay
Run, reach me today
Help me
Leave me to fend
For myself
Amend
Give me your heart
Then leave me alive
Leave me alone with
My reality contrived
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of the four poems I wrote on a sad day. It's not really my style... It's different than what I usually write. And when I say "Leave me alive," it's sort of saying... Let me live off you and your help but let me still have my own space and with my own world, my own 'reality.' Oh, and notice irony in the second stanza. I love irony.
Invisible Ink
All these pieces of me
Are falling
I don't want to write poetry
I'm dying
No one cares
Until the tears fall
And then, they speak
It's too late, imbecile
I'm an open book by day
But when it rains
The words are wiped off
The page
I run away...
And I'll always run
Until that day when
They care without end
Not just when tears fall
Not just when smiles break
But when everything is ok
Whena ll is good
No one knows
Can anyone read?
--------------------------------------------------
I wrote this at school, just like most of my poems. After writing those last two lines, I thought that people might not get that by "can anyone even read," I meant "do people know when there's something wrong with someone?" So I added the "open book by day" stanza. It makes it clear that I am the book. And my tears are the rain that wipe my words off the page. It's just saying how I seclude myself when I'm sad or something.
Are falling
I don't want to write poetry
I'm dying
No one cares
Until the tears fall
And then, they speak
It's too late, imbecile
I'm an open book by day
But when it rains
The words are wiped off
The page
I run away...
And I'll always run
Until that day when
They care without end
Not just when tears fall
Not just when smiles break
But when everything is ok
Whena ll is good
No one knows
Can anyone read?
--------------------------------------------------
I wrote this at school, just like most of my poems. After writing those last two lines, I thought that people might not get that by "can anyone even read," I meant "do people know when there's something wrong with someone?" So I added the "open book by day" stanza. It makes it clear that I am the book. And my tears are the rain that wipe my words off the page. It's just saying how I seclude myself when I'm sad or something.
Waterfall Mirage
I'm focused ahead, alone
Wait
Someone's to my left
No, disappointment fills me
And my reflection cracks
I don't want to be here
Where no one shows they care
I don't want to know them
Take me to where people amend
I don't want to live here
Where no one understands
Take me to the place
Where everyone knows everything
Take me to rest
Then take me back one day
When the world has had enough
Of every feeling
For with love comes pain
And with the sun comes rain
Aren't smiles just frowns
Turned upside-down?
No one dares to run
In the clouds' tears
I bask in it
And wish the sun
To come again
No one dares to
Lend a hand
I always do
And wish they
Would lend one too
--------------------------------------------------
I saw water falling to my left one day and thought it was someone, but turned to see that no one was there. I thought it was pretty sad how I could even think that. I even made a poem out of it (apparently). In the first stanza, when I say my reflection cracks, I mean to say that my reflection is the person I "saw."
Wait
Someone's to my left
No, disappointment fills me
And my reflection cracks
I don't want to be here
Where no one shows they care
I don't want to know them
Take me to where people amend
I don't want to live here
Where no one understands
Take me to the place
Where everyone knows everything
Take me to rest
Then take me back one day
When the world has had enough
Of every feeling
For with love comes pain
And with the sun comes rain
Aren't smiles just frowns
Turned upside-down?
No one dares to run
In the clouds' tears
I bask in it
And wish the sun
To come again
No one dares to
Lend a hand
I always do
And wish they
Would lend one too
--------------------------------------------------
I saw water falling to my left one day and thought it was someone, but turned to see that no one was there. I thought it was pretty sad how I could even think that. I even made a poem out of it (apparently). In the first stanza, when I say my reflection cracks, I mean to say that my reflection is the person I "saw."
Friday, March 13, 2009
Without Faith
Never knowing
Never going
Anything
Anywhere
The world is lost
Deprived of a future
Exhausted we are,
Say the old
Exhausted we are,
Say the working young
Tired are we,
Say the leaders
Dead is the hope
And the spirit of faith
Alone are the happy
Many are the weak
Alive are the strong
For dead are the meek
--------------------------------------------------
I added the last stanza way later after reviewing the poem and reading it again. I wrote it while on campus, just thinking about how pointless everything is. It's different than what I usually write, and I like it.
Never going
Anything
Anywhere
The world is lost
Deprived of a future
Exhausted we are,
Say the old
Exhausted we are,
Say the working young
Tired are we,
Say the leaders
Dead is the hope
And the spirit of faith
Alone are the happy
Many are the weak
Alive are the strong
For dead are the meek
--------------------------------------------------
I added the last stanza way later after reviewing the poem and reading it again. I wrote it while on campus, just thinking about how pointless everything is. It's different than what I usually write, and I like it.
Tell Me Forever
What about me?
What about when I need you?
What about when I'm alone?
What about you?
When will you get here?
Right before I'm about to jump?
Or when I am crying?
Or are you never coming home?
Listen to me
I have my friends,
But they're not the ones I need
Pay attention
I see you and long for the day
When you will see me too
In the way that I see you
Turn around and never turn away
Why won't you listen?
Shut up and hear me
Shut up and tell me it's alright
Shut up and hold me
Shut up, shut up
Just shut up, world
--------------------------------------------------
I have no idea what was going through my head... I think part of it had to do with social rejection and part with just sadness over everything. This is truly just one of those poems that were just emotional and sort of don't make sense.
What about when I need you?
What about when I'm alone?
What about you?
When will you get here?
Right before I'm about to jump?
Or when I am crying?
Or are you never coming home?
Listen to me
I have my friends,
But they're not the ones I need
Pay attention
I see you and long for the day
When you will see me too
In the way that I see you
Turn around and never turn away
Why won't you listen?
Shut up and hear me
Shut up and tell me it's alright
Shut up and hold me
Shut up, shut up
Just shut up, world
--------------------------------------------------
I have no idea what was going through my head... I think part of it had to do with social rejection and part with just sadness over everything. This is truly just one of those poems that were just emotional and sort of don't make sense.
Inanimate Beauty
I wish I was a windchime
Over the dead in a cemetary
Played by the wind,
Giving songs with no meaning
To those who feel meaningless
I wish I was a balloon
Flying higher and higher,
No need would confound me
I know only of flight
I wish I was a leaf
Growing and changing
And suddenly falling
In the middle of winter
To meet with all my comrades
I wish I was a raindrop
Pushed down by gravity
With the only purpose of landing
Touched by the wind,
I would inevitably descend
With my family and friends
Lifeless and beautiful
Meaningless and purposeful
I wish my life was like
A ray of sunshine
--------------------------------------------------
This poem is one of my favorite poems. Maybe even my all-time favorite. I was riding home one day from school, and my dad was talking to me about something. I was sad (shocker). And so I looked out the window and saw all these things, just inanimate and swaying and... being. A windchime, a balloon, a leaf, a raindrop; all of them had no worries, no troubles. All they have to do is do what nature intended them to do. They just ARE, and nothing gets in the way of that, and nothing gets in the way of what they do every day. And I wish I just did something constant every day, had a life as simple as an inanimate beauty.
Over the dead in a cemetary
Played by the wind,
Giving songs with no meaning
To those who feel meaningless
I wish I was a balloon
Flying higher and higher,
No need would confound me
I know only of flight
I wish I was a leaf
Growing and changing
And suddenly falling
In the middle of winter
To meet with all my comrades
I wish I was a raindrop
Pushed down by gravity
With the only purpose of landing
Touched by the wind,
I would inevitably descend
With my family and friends
Lifeless and beautiful
Meaningless and purposeful
I wish my life was like
A ray of sunshine
--------------------------------------------------
This poem is one of my favorite poems. Maybe even my all-time favorite. I was riding home one day from school, and my dad was talking to me about something. I was sad (shocker). And so I looked out the window and saw all these things, just inanimate and swaying and... being. A windchime, a balloon, a leaf, a raindrop; all of them had no worries, no troubles. All they have to do is do what nature intended them to do. They just ARE, and nothing gets in the way of that, and nothing gets in the way of what they do every day. And I wish I just did something constant every day, had a life as simple as an inanimate beauty.
Do You Fear?
Words like honey
Flow from the lips
Those which say
Many things
Words of joy
Of sadness
Words of faith
Of mistrust
How many lies
Will flow?
Have you hurt
The ones you know?
Or have you
Love unconditionally?
Do you give
To those who trust they'll see?
People never know
But some believe
--------------------------------------------------
I wrote this poem in church. Actually, while my dad was preaching. I was just questioning what was real and if what was being said is the truth. I stopped writing the poem and finished it later, after service was done.
Flow from the lips
Those which say
Many things
Words of joy
Of sadness
Words of faith
Of mistrust
How many lies
Will flow?
Have you hurt
The ones you know?
Or have you
Love unconditionally?
Do you give
To those who trust they'll see?
People never know
But some believe
--------------------------------------------------
I wrote this poem in church. Actually, while my dad was preaching. I was just questioning what was real and if what was being said is the truth. I stopped writing the poem and finished it later, after service was done.
You, Me, and a Future
You
So soon you came
And yet it felt like forever
Me
What an idiot I've been
I should have been there
But I'm here now
I can't believe we're here
Waiting and still enjoying the moment
I can't believe we have a future together
I can't wait until we fill our lives
With smiles
I'll let you know with every word
Every breath, every day, every move
That I'm completely into you
Let this never be over
Hold me, kiss me
Maybe just gaze
So I can feel
What I know is real
What I know you feel
But for now suffice it to say
I want you at the end of the day
And I want you here through it all
My triumphs, rises, and falls
We'll do this like no one else
Our story will be epic
Our lives will be woven
Our hearts will be one
Your smile shines away the sorrows
And those laughs seem to pass the time
If we live in this future,
Maybe I can make your wrong days
Seem right and we will climb
They'll all wish they were us
But we don't care
We'll never dare
To leave the other there
--------------------------------------------------
Inspired by me and Amanda, but I sort of exagerated a bit and made it like a head-over-heels sort of thing.
So soon you came
And yet it felt like forever
Me
What an idiot I've been
I should have been there
But I'm here now
I can't believe we're here
Waiting and still enjoying the moment
I can't believe we have a future together
I can't wait until we fill our lives
With smiles
I'll let you know with every word
Every breath, every day, every move
That I'm completely into you
Let this never be over
Hold me, kiss me
Maybe just gaze
So I can feel
What I know is real
What I know you feel
But for now suffice it to say
I want you at the end of the day
And I want you here through it all
My triumphs, rises, and falls
We'll do this like no one else
Our story will be epic
Our lives will be woven
Our hearts will be one
Your smile shines away the sorrows
And those laughs seem to pass the time
If we live in this future,
Maybe I can make your wrong days
Seem right and we will climb
They'll all wish they were us
But we don't care
We'll never dare
To leave the other there
--------------------------------------------------
Inspired by me and Amanda, but I sort of exagerated a bit and made it like a head-over-heels sort of thing.
Meeting a Star
Emotions
That I never knew
Are brewing
What are you doing?
I'm a little confused
I don't know what to do
But I know I'm fine
With my arms around you
I'm completely ok
With those words you say,
The ones that don't matter,
They make my day
My mind has changed
I can't forget you
So come fly with me
In the skies so blue
We'll shine like the sun
And be as beautiful as the moon
Our hearts will guide us like stars
And we'll sing our own tune
I used to hurt,
To worry, to cry
But then I saw
A star in the sky
It came down to greet me
It told me I'm amazing
But I couldn't form words
I just kept on gazing
The person inside you
Is who I want to meet
Let it out, show me
And make me complete
--------------------------------------------------
This was written in the beginning of my relationship with Amanda. Just to explain a part of the poem, she told me I was amazing one day.
That I never knew
Are brewing
What are you doing?
I'm a little confused
I don't know what to do
But I know I'm fine
With my arms around you
I'm completely ok
With those words you say,
The ones that don't matter,
They make my day
My mind has changed
I can't forget you
So come fly with me
In the skies so blue
We'll shine like the sun
And be as beautiful as the moon
Our hearts will guide us like stars
And we'll sing our own tune
I used to hurt,
To worry, to cry
But then I saw
A star in the sky
It came down to greet me
It told me I'm amazing
But I couldn't form words
I just kept on gazing
The person inside you
Is who I want to meet
Let it out, show me
And make me complete
--------------------------------------------------
This was written in the beginning of my relationship with Amanda. Just to explain a part of the poem, she told me I was amazing one day.
Deluded by the Self-Centered
Those up-turned glasses
See-through, glorious, and shining
All those demented cups
In the middle,
Or the outside, in actuality,
Lies the down-turned glass
Centered on itself
It needs neither companion nor foe
It has everything it requires
She sees them all
Those exuberant pieces of glass
And chooses the self-centered
In all these choices
She chooses the one who is
The worst intentioned
Her special glass
She doesn't let anyone near it
Only she may drink
She takes pride in her choice
And wants it to be proud
Of her choosing of him
Did she not see?
The glass was a selfish entity
He would not give her pride
She delighted in him
While he forgot she chose him
She shouldn't have picked him
He should have stayed empty
But she desired past the expected
And received only pain
--------------------------------------------------
This was just inspired by one glass. It was just upside down, and I went to get a cup and then I thought that it was kind of cool. I just made this poem into something about a girl who likes a guy that doesn't like her back. A guy that doesn't really care about anyone than himself, really.
See-through, glorious, and shining
All those demented cups
In the middle,
Or the outside, in actuality,
Lies the down-turned glass
Centered on itself
It needs neither companion nor foe
It has everything it requires
She sees them all
Those exuberant pieces of glass
And chooses the self-centered
In all these choices
She chooses the one who is
The worst intentioned
Her special glass
She doesn't let anyone near it
Only she may drink
She takes pride in her choice
And wants it to be proud
Of her choosing of him
Did she not see?
The glass was a selfish entity
He would not give her pride
She delighted in him
While he forgot she chose him
She shouldn't have picked him
He should have stayed empty
But she desired past the expected
And received only pain
--------------------------------------------------
This was just inspired by one glass. It was just upside down, and I went to get a cup and then I thought that it was kind of cool. I just made this poem into something about a girl who likes a guy that doesn't like her back. A guy that doesn't really care about anyone than himself, really.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Hope in Amends
2:10 in the morning
And I'm waiting for you
Here and there, forever
Never-ending hope fills me
I miss you, when will it happen?
I miss you, why don't you come here?
I miss you, why did you forget?
I miss you, when have we met?
I can't remember if it was then
Or now, these days when I roam
I look at you here and there
I see you, but you're never alone
I miss you, do you see me?
I miss you, when will this happen?
I miss you, don't you ever wish?
I miss you, I wished you missed me too
I believe you'll take me there
Beyond this elixir for sadness
And into the pool of your eyes
Take me when we forget all else
Into the forever mist
Where no one is there,
And we are everywhere
Lost, but found
Broken, but healing
--------------------------------------------------
I was up really late and I was on myspace, and a poem came to me so I started writing. Nothing really inspired me to write it; it's one of those poems I make that don't have anything to do with me... mostly.
And I'm waiting for you
Here and there, forever
Never-ending hope fills me
I miss you, when will it happen?
I miss you, why don't you come here?
I miss you, why did you forget?
I miss you, when have we met?
I can't remember if it was then
Or now, these days when I roam
I look at you here and there
I see you, but you're never alone
I miss you, do you see me?
I miss you, when will this happen?
I miss you, don't you ever wish?
I miss you, I wished you missed me too
I believe you'll take me there
Beyond this elixir for sadness
And into the pool of your eyes
Take me when we forget all else
Into the forever mist
Where no one is there,
And we are everywhere
Lost, but found
Broken, but healing
--------------------------------------------------
I was up really late and I was on myspace, and a poem came to me so I started writing. Nothing really inspired me to write it; it's one of those poems I make that don't have anything to do with me... mostly.
Monday, November 24, 2008
At the End of the Tunnel
Staring at myself
At this nightmare I always see
And only thinking of you
The person I need to wake me
Just come and see me break
And bend my heart for you
Come and feel me mend
Our lives to one from two
Never meant harm,
But never meant well
You and me, together
The thought starts to dwell
Nothing, good at nothing
Good for nothing... but each other
Perfect, never perfect
But perfect for one another
And suddenly I see
That out of catastrophe
We can live together
I miss you…
Do you miss me?
Maybe I’ll sleep forever
Blind to the reality of sight
But I’ll always be waiting for you…
In this dark I wait for my light
--------------------------------------------------
This poem was inspired mainly by Alana. She told me some things, and she showed me a music video and it kind of just moved me and I felt like I, MYSELF, was nothing and could do nothing and ever amount to anything, so I mixed the two things into one poem and it came out alright.
At this nightmare I always see
And only thinking of you
The person I need to wake me
Just come and see me break
And bend my heart for you
Come and feel me mend
Our lives to one from two
Never meant harm,
But never meant well
You and me, together
The thought starts to dwell
Nothing, good at nothing
Good for nothing... but each other
Perfect, never perfect
But perfect for one another
And suddenly I see
That out of catastrophe
We can live together
I miss you…
Do you miss me?
Maybe I’ll sleep forever
Blind to the reality of sight
But I’ll always be waiting for you…
In this dark I wait for my light
--------------------------------------------------
This poem was inspired mainly by Alana. She told me some things, and she showed me a music video and it kind of just moved me and I felt like I, MYSELF, was nothing and could do nothing and ever amount to anything, so I mixed the two things into one poem and it came out alright.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Blood Red, Beautiful Dead
Oh my dear
How could you lie to me?
Oh my dear
How could you have loved me?
Oh my dear
You are never near
Never even when I saw you there,
Ever lovely hair
And now what?
And now who?
When and where,
Why, who cares?
I loved you
Like no one else could
And you lied to me
Like the Devil would
I knew that you were dead
In your heart like a rose
Still so… beautiful
And yet… so, so…
Red
Like my blood that spilt
And like the garment you wore
So beautiful, so beautiful
But now nothing but
A head
You were so cruel to me
And I so good to you
How could you have taken
My love and broken
My heart?
You were so good to me
And I so cruel to you
How could I have mistaken
The beauty and the break
In your smile?
Yet I knew, always knew
That we were meant to die
With rivers running fresh
From the throats or
Perhaps the eye
So beautiful, red blood
Beautiful, red tears
Cruel, this body dead
So good, this love unwed
And now you left me
Alone, and without you
For never shall I find
Nowhere in the world
A stream as quick and true
As, oh so, beautiful…
You
--------------------------------------------------
While watching the movie Sweeney Todd, I immediately fell in love with the drama that just emanates from every corner- the make-up, the black corners, the crazy lady, the sorta-ugly hero dude and the ugly girl he wants to marry, everything was so twisted and brilliant and ironic and great. And when Mr. T is just sitting with his dead lover's head in his lap, he's singing some song where he repeats the word "beautiful" over and over, and that stuck in my head and I sang it even after the movie was over. And I didnt know the words, so I made up my own lyrics and sorta made-up my own song (music to it) to it too and wrote it down. I forgot how the song part goes, but these are the lyrics I made.
How could you lie to me?
Oh my dear
How could you have loved me?
Oh my dear
You are never near
Never even when I saw you there,
Ever lovely hair
And now what?
And now who?
When and where,
Why, who cares?
I loved you
Like no one else could
And you lied to me
Like the Devil would
I knew that you were dead
In your heart like a rose
Still so… beautiful
And yet… so, so…
Red
Like my blood that spilt
And like the garment you wore
So beautiful, so beautiful
But now nothing but
A head
You were so cruel to me
And I so good to you
How could you have taken
My love and broken
My heart?
You were so good to me
And I so cruel to you
How could I have mistaken
The beauty and the break
In your smile?
Yet I knew, always knew
That we were meant to die
With rivers running fresh
From the throats or
Perhaps the eye
So beautiful, red blood
Beautiful, red tears
Cruel, this body dead
So good, this love unwed
And now you left me
Alone, and without you
For never shall I find
Nowhere in the world
A stream as quick and true
As, oh so, beautiful…
You
--------------------------------------------------
While watching the movie Sweeney Todd, I immediately fell in love with the drama that just emanates from every corner- the make-up, the black corners, the crazy lady, the sorta-ugly hero dude and the ugly girl he wants to marry, everything was so twisted and brilliant and ironic and great. And when Mr. T is just sitting with his dead lover's head in his lap, he's singing some song where he repeats the word "beautiful" over and over, and that stuck in my head and I sang it even after the movie was over. And I didnt know the words, so I made up my own lyrics and sorta made-up my own song (music to it) to it too and wrote it down. I forgot how the song part goes, but these are the lyrics I made.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
You and Me- a Dream or Reality?
A vision came to visit me
It came in the sight of my mind
I ran away, and stayed
All at the same time
But now, I’m loving
This feeling that’s mine
It’s like I’m alive again
Breathing, but not living enough
Because before I met you
I was dead
And now you’re not with me
Oh, oh, oh
I said, Oh, oh
Come to me
I know you were here for a reason
That’s why I stayed
And now that I can feel it,
I’ll make you feel this way
I just wonder at how it all could be
If there was an us, a you and me
But now, I’m just being lonely
Oh, oh, oh
I said, oh, oh
Come to me please
I saw you and thought you were
Perfection in every hue
I suddenly touched you
And never breathed again
Until today, when I knew
That you felt this too
And now I believe
Ohhhhh…
I said oh,oh…
Come to me please
We can live our lives,
Just you and me
--------------------------------------------------
I wrote this poem right while I was truly getting over Lisa- in fact, it's about someone else.
It came in the sight of my mind
I ran away, and stayed
All at the same time
But now, I’m loving
This feeling that’s mine
It’s like I’m alive again
Breathing, but not living enough
Because before I met you
I was dead
And now you’re not with me
Oh, oh, oh
I said, Oh, oh
Come to me
I know you were here for a reason
That’s why I stayed
And now that I can feel it,
I’ll make you feel this way
I just wonder at how it all could be
If there was an us, a you and me
But now, I’m just being lonely
Oh, oh, oh
I said, oh, oh
Come to me please
I saw you and thought you were
Perfection in every hue
I suddenly touched you
And never breathed again
Until today, when I knew
That you felt this too
And now I believe
Ohhhhh…
I said oh,oh…
Come to me please
We can live our lives,
Just you and me
--------------------------------------------------
I wrote this poem right while I was truly getting over Lisa- in fact, it's about someone else.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Searching for Ice Cream
Ice cream reminds me of you
Cuz when I saw your eyes, so blue
I melted and they seemed to melt, too
You left me there, and I started thinking
I got a puddle at my feet
My heart is in the air
It’s about to crash and burn
But you don’t care
I just sit, listening to my heartbeat
Wonderin if it’s beating for you or me
I just think of the days when we were so carefree
But now, you don’t are, so just leave me be
Love, love, love
You got me
Got my sittin on my sofa
At half-past-three
In the morning… and evening
Waiting here all day to be dreaming
Dreams of you and me, perhaps eternally
Maybe just someday…
But
No, no, no (repeated)
My heart reaches the floor
And splatters liquids red
You knock at my door
But I am no more
--------------------------------------------------
Well I really have no idea what made me write this poem. I think a song inspired me, cuz whenever I read it I sorta sing it in my head. And that's why I'm making it into a song (or, depending on when you read this, that's why it IS a song). When I originally wrote it, the last line was "but i'm already dead," but after my sister said it was kinda weird and I wrote this version, I thought it was much better (I also changed some other things).
Cuz when I saw your eyes, so blue
I melted and they seemed to melt, too
You left me there, and I started thinking
I got a puddle at my feet
My heart is in the air
It’s about to crash and burn
But you don’t care
I just sit, listening to my heartbeat
Wonderin if it’s beating for you or me
I just think of the days when we were so carefree
But now, you don’t are, so just leave me be
Love, love, love
You got me
Got my sittin on my sofa
At half-past-three
In the morning… and evening
Waiting here all day to be dreaming
Dreams of you and me, perhaps eternally
Maybe just someday…
But
No, no, no (repeated)
My heart reaches the floor
And splatters liquids red
You knock at my door
But I am no more
--------------------------------------------------
Well I really have no idea what made me write this poem. I think a song inspired me, cuz whenever I read it I sorta sing it in my head. And that's why I'm making it into a song (or, depending on when you read this, that's why it IS a song). When I originally wrote it, the last line was "but i'm already dead," but after my sister said it was kinda weird and I wrote this version, I thought it was much better (I also changed some other things).
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Orders of Fear
Do what they say
Just to live another day
Tears strolling, choking smoke
Trying not to die a joke
But they point their weapons
In my face of fear
I look at myself,
And those I hold near
I do what they say
I don't run away
They and their smiles malign
Would just shoot me blind
Till I see nothing but death
And so I cry
Holding myself
Hoping to die
Life is not worth this
The torture and fear
Is strong and it runs
Through my eye and ear
The screams, they pierce
The blood, it kills
They don't care about
The soul that spills
I lose my stomach
As I watch my father
I try to save him...
But why bother?
The bullet penetrates
The blood hits the dirt
I look into his eyes
His soul was dead...
How it hurt
I tried to lose my thoughts
But instead remembered my mother
Who, seemingly angelic,
Died at the cause of another
The others, those beasts
Their minds are lifeless
Their hands are death
Their actions are thoughtless
In the middle of bustle
I sit, alone
Crying and feeling nothing
And hearing the groan
Of dying life, around me
They won't leave us be
Shooting and fighting
Blood and tears
Dirt and bodies
Death...
But only fear
--------------------------------------------------
I was watching Iron Man and it was my second time watching it. All I remembered from the first time I watched it were the "cool" explosions and gadgets, but the second time I noticed a couple moving scenes that really show some great emotion. And those scenes inspired me to write this. It's not one of my greats, but it's ok.
Just to live another day
Tears strolling, choking smoke
Trying not to die a joke
But they point their weapons
In my face of fear
I look at myself,
And those I hold near
I do what they say
I don't run away
They and their smiles malign
Would just shoot me blind
Till I see nothing but death
And so I cry
Holding myself
Hoping to die
Life is not worth this
The torture and fear
Is strong and it runs
Through my eye and ear
The screams, they pierce
The blood, it kills
They don't care about
The soul that spills
I lose my stomach
As I watch my father
I try to save him...
But why bother?
The bullet penetrates
The blood hits the dirt
I look into his eyes
His soul was dead...
How it hurt
I tried to lose my thoughts
But instead remembered my mother
Who, seemingly angelic,
Died at the cause of another
The others, those beasts
Their minds are lifeless
Their hands are death
Their actions are thoughtless
In the middle of bustle
I sit, alone
Crying and feeling nothing
And hearing the groan
Of dying life, around me
They won't leave us be
Shooting and fighting
Blood and tears
Dirt and bodies
Death...
But only fear
--------------------------------------------------
I was watching Iron Man and it was my second time watching it. All I remembered from the first time I watched it were the "cool" explosions and gadgets, but the second time I noticed a couple moving scenes that really show some great emotion. And those scenes inspired me to write this. It's not one of my greats, but it's ok.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
The Irony of Dragonflies
O Dragonfly
You used to fly tall and proud
But now your carcass lies on the ground
What has life reduced you to?
O Sun
You used to bring life and happiness
But if someone rejects your gift,
You cannot make them have it
O poor Insects
You would fly
In the face of danger
Now you cower in dirt
Reduced to less than expected,
We just try to live
But we cannot,
And we cower in fear
Even clouds…
Gorgeous and looming,
Over everything we own,
…Must fall
We don’t see when
But we all fall
Joy will never be
Didn’t you know?
Cower in safety…
We all must
There’s no denying
The ruthlessness of this world
We give so much
But receivers pretend
So we feel the need
To be slaves again
Signs of death
Loom all around life
Dragonflies and suns
Insects and clouds…
Like stars we shine
But burn ourselves
Thus is the way of things
Love?
No
Friendship?
No
These die as well
They are not a solution!
Can love overcome death?
Can friends resurrect your soul?
Life makes everything twisted
We forget what we believed
And forget what we were
Just to cry
And expect something more,
As if there is more
But we
Just
Cry
In solitude
Sweet blissful sadness
There is no such feeling
As your tears wetting your own hair
And you realize you should stop
But your emotions drive you
And rivers flow from the peaks
Of ice in your eyes
Of ice in your heart
Feel it!
Feel the bitter cold
O Life
She takes everything we have
And asks what we have left
Now all I have to give
Are cold tears and a bitter heart
--------------------------------------------------
I made this poem when I was just sad, obviously. It was morning and I was walking to my bus stop and on the side of the road there was a dragonfly, and its legs were up and i thought it was dead but it twitched. I just thought it was really sad how it was such a great creature and now it was twitching and dying on the side of the road. I just felt like writing about how great things die, how all great things die, really. Pay attention to some parts in the poem- after I talk about the insects in the beginning, the next stanza is a sort of allusion to the first three (using the words "reduced," "live," and "cower" to tie them into one idea). The "we give so much/but receivers pretend/so we feel the need/to be slaves again" shows that we give but we don't get anything back. We just see these fake signs of gratitude that the world or people give us, and then we feel like giving more to make it/them happy and... it leads to more disappointment. The night before I wrote this, I was listening to sad music and I was looking up at the ceiling and my tears rolled down the side of my face and into my hair. That's where I got the "wet hair" thing in the stanza before the ice tears and heart. It's basically about irony and how the world takes everything we have... I told you I was sad when I wrote it. It's one of my favorites.
You used to fly tall and proud
But now your carcass lies on the ground
What has life reduced you to?
O Sun
You used to bring life and happiness
But if someone rejects your gift,
You cannot make them have it
O poor Insects
You would fly
In the face of danger
Now you cower in dirt
Reduced to less than expected,
We just try to live
But we cannot,
And we cower in fear
Even clouds…
Gorgeous and looming,
Over everything we own,
…Must fall
We don’t see when
But we all fall
Joy will never be
Didn’t you know?
Cower in safety…
We all must
There’s no denying
The ruthlessness of this world
We give so much
But receivers pretend
So we feel the need
To be slaves again
Signs of death
Loom all around life
Dragonflies and suns
Insects and clouds…
Like stars we shine
But burn ourselves
Thus is the way of things
Love?
No
Friendship?
No
These die as well
They are not a solution!
Can love overcome death?
Can friends resurrect your soul?
Life makes everything twisted
We forget what we believed
And forget what we were
Just to cry
And expect something more,
As if there is more
But we
Just
Cry
In solitude
Sweet blissful sadness
There is no such feeling
As your tears wetting your own hair
And you realize you should stop
But your emotions drive you
And rivers flow from the peaks
Of ice in your eyes
Of ice in your heart
Feel it!
Feel the bitter cold
O Life
She takes everything we have
And asks what we have left
Now all I have to give
Are cold tears and a bitter heart
--------------------------------------------------
I made this poem when I was just sad, obviously. It was morning and I was walking to my bus stop and on the side of the road there was a dragonfly, and its legs were up and i thought it was dead but it twitched. I just thought it was really sad how it was such a great creature and now it was twitching and dying on the side of the road. I just felt like writing about how great things die, how all great things die, really. Pay attention to some parts in the poem- after I talk about the insects in the beginning, the next stanza is a sort of allusion to the first three (using the words "reduced," "live," and "cower" to tie them into one idea). The "we give so much/but receivers pretend/so we feel the need/to be slaves again" shows that we give but we don't get anything back. We just see these fake signs of gratitude that the world or people give us, and then we feel like giving more to make it/them happy and... it leads to more disappointment. The night before I wrote this, I was listening to sad music and I was looking up at the ceiling and my tears rolled down the side of my face and into my hair. That's where I got the "wet hair" thing in the stanza before the ice tears and heart. It's basically about irony and how the world takes everything we have... I told you I was sad when I wrote it. It's one of my favorites.
Craving Delusions
It breaks her heart
But his soul is decimated
She can’t do anything
And he does everything for her
She sees his signs of affection
And receives them with gratitude
She feels alive in those moments
How he dreams…
He forgets her smile
They reconcile
All is well and said
How she wishes…
They, in a battle of mind and heart,
Seem so calm and unmoved
He, who wants her
She, who wants him to forget
How can someone not want to love
That which remedies their pain?
How can one forget that which
They think is perfection?
He wishes he knew
He wishes she knew
That he can’t know
So it is pointless
And in the war of souls,
Their words wound and heal,
Their hands entice and push away,
Their hearts beat to different drums
There’s no winning or losing
Put up the white flag
He wishes, she wishes
Forget that blood was shed
And go home instead
Oh, it’s true what they say
War ruins the day
It tears people away
And nations don’t see…
Forget?
Wars are never lost in mind
Give up?
Both sides never look behind
--------------------------------------------------
In the very beginning of the poem, we see irony and how "he does everything for her" but "she can't do anything at all." It just talks about how both of them have contrasting wishes for what they want at the end of this thing they're going through. He wants... well you tell me what he wants. And, besides that, I was going for a third-person kind of poem this time. I usually say "you" or "she," but this time I talked as if I was a spectator watching the scene of these two people. In reality, I am the guy in the poem and the girl is she who I liked recently. I realized she did not want me, as I had realized before, but it still never stopped hurting. I don't know when, but I made this poem.
But his soul is decimated
She can’t do anything
And he does everything for her
She sees his signs of affection
And receives them with gratitude
She feels alive in those moments
How he dreams…
He forgets her smile
They reconcile
All is well and said
How she wishes…
They, in a battle of mind and heart,
Seem so calm and unmoved
He, who wants her
She, who wants him to forget
How can someone not want to love
That which remedies their pain?
How can one forget that which
They think is perfection?
He wishes he knew
He wishes she knew
That he can’t know
So it is pointless
And in the war of souls,
Their words wound and heal,
Their hands entice and push away,
Their hearts beat to different drums
There’s no winning or losing
Put up the white flag
He wishes, she wishes
Forget that blood was shed
And go home instead
Oh, it’s true what they say
War ruins the day
It tears people away
And nations don’t see…
Forget?
Wars are never lost in mind
Give up?
Both sides never look behind
--------------------------------------------------
In the very beginning of the poem, we see irony and how "he does everything for her" but "she can't do anything at all." It just talks about how both of them have contrasting wishes for what they want at the end of this thing they're going through. He wants... well you tell me what he wants. And, besides that, I was going for a third-person kind of poem this time. I usually say "you" or "she," but this time I talked as if I was a spectator watching the scene of these two people. In reality, I am the guy in the poem and the girl is she who I liked recently. I realized she did not want me, as I had realized before, but it still never stopped hurting. I don't know when, but I made this poem.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Liquid Thievery
Round and opulent
Turns and turns
The sphere of death
That only dies
And in its death
It must steal life
From those inside
To preserve itself
Take my breath away
And feed yourself
From my tears
Disintegrate my pride
For your pleasure
This torture is not worth living anyway
Just take it all away
You who judge and hurt and discriminate
Just take it and go
Go away...
You have what you want
You took my joy
And my music
And my friends
And my strength
And my tears
And my God
Leave me alone...
My sobs don't push you away though
It's as if they're a call for you
A beacon for your treacherous raid
On peace
I'm over it
I can't believe I let you win
I still cry over death
When it's always been beside me
Just devour me whole
Or leave me alone
This game of cat and mouse
Has become known
Is there no one to rescue me?
Is there none that can see
The beacon and come out of pity
And with a pure remedy?
I can't write anymore
I feel too alone
In my solitude
There is nothingness
There is nothing to write
You took it all away
Leave me alone...
I'm at the shore,
Feeling the wave
Of gust and gore
Stay at bay
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of my spontaneous poems. I think that makes three, rite? Well whatever. This was in those days when I was just crying for no reason. It's the second time that that's happened to me, actually. But I was just posting something about what I was feeling and how I felt isolated and like no one understands me... everything just piled up and I wrote this.
Turns and turns
The sphere of death
That only dies
And in its death
It must steal life
From those inside
To preserve itself
Take my breath away
And feed yourself
From my tears
Disintegrate my pride
For your pleasure
This torture is not worth living anyway
Just take it all away
You who judge and hurt and discriminate
Just take it and go
Go away...
You have what you want
You took my joy
And my music
And my friends
And my strength
And my tears
And my God
Leave me alone...
My sobs don't push you away though
It's as if they're a call for you
A beacon for your treacherous raid
On peace
I'm over it
I can't believe I let you win
I still cry over death
When it's always been beside me
Just devour me whole
Or leave me alone
This game of cat and mouse
Has become known
Is there no one to rescue me?
Is there none that can see
The beacon and come out of pity
And with a pure remedy?
I can't write anymore
I feel too alone
In my solitude
There is nothingness
There is nothing to write
You took it all away
Leave me alone...
I'm at the shore,
Feeling the wave
Of gust and gore
Stay at bay
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of my spontaneous poems. I think that makes three, rite? Well whatever. This was in those days when I was just crying for no reason. It's the second time that that's happened to me, actually. But I was just posting something about what I was feeling and how I felt isolated and like no one understands me... everything just piled up and I wrote this.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Devastation
I’m not truly happy,
Am I?
You’re not okay,
Are you?
Depression rages
As happiness engages
In manifestations
Of smiles around me
The time will come
When the tornado will swirl by
And the time will come
When the skies clear a path
To your success
But now the tornado’s coming
And clouds are looming
Your tears are enumerating
And houses are depreciated
In the sight of catastrophe
Wind blows my hair
And I can finally see
Just to have the wind
Throw dust into my eyes
We see just to be blind
We cower just to be noticed
It comes as a beautiful whirlwind
Just to destroy life’s art
We all stare at the disaster waiting to occur
We worry about the destruction about to happen
But you haven’t even realized
The true wreck is inside our homes
--------------------------------------------------
This poem was made in 7th period, in my science class. I don't know what it is about the last period of the day that makes me write poetry... Anyways. A tornado drill happened, and we had to move, and while writing this poem I was like "wow, i should include a tornado into it" cuz it just seemed to work. And it's just about how there's always destruction, and we can't rly stop the sadness in our lives. We can get over it and just make it seem less destructive, but that's just how we perceive it. And sometimes people just think everyone else has horrible lives and don't see that they're the ones that are truly unhappy.
Am I?
You’re not okay,
Are you?
Depression rages
As happiness engages
In manifestations
Of smiles around me
The time will come
When the tornado will swirl by
And the time will come
When the skies clear a path
To your success
But now the tornado’s coming
And clouds are looming
Your tears are enumerating
And houses are depreciated
In the sight of catastrophe
Wind blows my hair
And I can finally see
Just to have the wind
Throw dust into my eyes
We see just to be blind
We cower just to be noticed
It comes as a beautiful whirlwind
Just to destroy life’s art
We all stare at the disaster waiting to occur
We worry about the destruction about to happen
But you haven’t even realized
The true wreck is inside our homes
--------------------------------------------------
This poem was made in 7th period, in my science class. I don't know what it is about the last period of the day that makes me write poetry... Anyways. A tornado drill happened, and we had to move, and while writing this poem I was like "wow, i should include a tornado into it" cuz it just seemed to work. And it's just about how there's always destruction, and we can't rly stop the sadness in our lives. We can get over it and just make it seem less destructive, but that's just how we perceive it. And sometimes people just think everyone else has horrible lives and don't see that they're the ones that are truly unhappy.
Voyage of Self-Discovery
I tick to my own clock
I drum to my own beat
I tune to my own radio
Till there’s nothing I don’t understand
I go down my own stream
Of isolation and adventure
Endlessly and forever
Always fascinated
Lost in the depths
Yet always finding myself
Secrets unraveled
Thoughts discovered
There are times
That I don’t like
What I find
But I can’t pretend
That I didn’t see it
So I leave it be
And there are times
Where I am marveled
At why and how
Things haven’t been found
There’s always more to see
Never less to discover
Floating on and on
Endlessly and forever
The trees always climb
The storms keep on raging
But I just row my boat
Eternally aging
And in this forever stream
We forget it leads to an ocean
Although it carries our very essence
We must remember that it will cease
--------------------------------------------------
This is a poem about learning about yourself. It's about going out into the world alone, and just learning about who you are and accepting it. Or changing it. And your very essence is something that's so vast and there's always more that you haven't seen or felt, so it's just endless.
I drum to my own beat
I tune to my own radio
Till there’s nothing I don’t understand
I go down my own stream
Of isolation and adventure
Endlessly and forever
Always fascinated
Lost in the depths
Yet always finding myself
Secrets unraveled
Thoughts discovered
There are times
That I don’t like
What I find
But I can’t pretend
That I didn’t see it
So I leave it be
And there are times
Where I am marveled
At why and how
Things haven’t been found
There’s always more to see
Never less to discover
Floating on and on
Endlessly and forever
The trees always climb
The storms keep on raging
But I just row my boat
Eternally aging
And in this forever stream
We forget it leads to an ocean
Although it carries our very essence
We must remember that it will cease
--------------------------------------------------
This is a poem about learning about yourself. It's about going out into the world alone, and just learning about who you are and accepting it. Or changing it. And your very essence is something that's so vast and there's always more that you haven't seen or felt, so it's just endless.
Was Darwin Wrong?
In my dark corner
I write my own manifestation
Of these tears that invisibly fall
Into the depths of unimportance
I can feel them falling
But I know they’re not
Not to you
Because you don’t see
I want to make you happy
I wish you were here with me
I want you here…
So… so close
Why can’t it be you?!
Why must you ignore me?!
Why does it have to happen this way…?
It hurts to look at you
I see your smile
And I can’t take it
I see you
And you break me
My head keeps throbbing
With pain and misfortune
And while you live your life
I am excluded
So just leave me alone
I don’t want to be like this
I can’t have you
Because you don’t want me
I wish you could feel
Exactly what I feel
So you would know
What you mean to me
I wish you were here
Oh, so close
But you don’t want me
So just go away
BUT I DON’T WANT YOU TO!
I can’t just forget
I can’t see past you
I can’t ignore these feelings
But it’s inevitable
Because it’s already clear
That I am alone
And you’re far from near
It hurts when you touch me
It hurts when you speak
My life disintegrates as I feel
The havoc that you wreak
--------------------------------------------------
The title for this poem is a whole story. I was in class and the girl i liked was sitting right next to me, and since i hadn't liked someone in such a long time, it rly hurt to just sit next to her. And I was almost crying, so I decided to go to this back corner in the room where no one could see me, and so I took a paper and pencil and something to write on, went back there, cried and wrote. I cried the whole time, and the paper I was using was a science notes paper, and the title of the paper was "Was Darwin Wrong?" and i just thought it was funny so I made that the title. I'll never forget this poem.
I write my own manifestation
Of these tears that invisibly fall
Into the depths of unimportance
I can feel them falling
But I know they’re not
Not to you
Because you don’t see
I want to make you happy
I wish you were here with me
I want you here…
So… so close
Why can’t it be you?!
Why must you ignore me?!
Why does it have to happen this way…?
It hurts to look at you
I see your smile
And I can’t take it
I see you
And you break me
My head keeps throbbing
With pain and misfortune
And while you live your life
I am excluded
So just leave me alone
I don’t want to be like this
I can’t have you
Because you don’t want me
I wish you could feel
Exactly what I feel
So you would know
What you mean to me
I wish you were here
Oh, so close
But you don’t want me
So just go away
BUT I DON’T WANT YOU TO!
I can’t just forget
I can’t see past you
I can’t ignore these feelings
But it’s inevitable
Because it’s already clear
That I am alone
And you’re far from near
It hurts when you touch me
It hurts when you speak
My life disintegrates as I feel
The havoc that you wreak
--------------------------------------------------
The title for this poem is a whole story. I was in class and the girl i liked was sitting right next to me, and since i hadn't liked someone in such a long time, it rly hurt to just sit next to her. And I was almost crying, so I decided to go to this back corner in the room where no one could see me, and so I took a paper and pencil and something to write on, went back there, cried and wrote. I cried the whole time, and the paper I was using was a science notes paper, and the title of the paper was "Was Darwin Wrong?" and i just thought it was funny so I made that the title. I'll never forget this poem.
Nonexistent
I’m so clueless
I’m so helpless
She’s so beautiful
So, so gorgeous
Maybe I love her
What if I do?
Maybe I make her happy
What if I can?
Maybe I’ll kiss her
What if I want to?
What if I do?
What if I want to?
Maybe I should forget it
But she taunts me everyday
With her eyes
And that gliding walk
Her everyday movements
Make her more beautiful
I look on and wonder
At how amazing it would be
To have her in my arms
And tend to her every need
But her life is not for me
She lives for another
While I waste my breath on her,
And while words I utter
Come out of my heart
She tears me apart
What is she to me?
A dream or an illusion?
A goal or an obsession?
Why all the questions and oppressions?
I only ask you, blank page
Because I know the answer
She does not want me
And so I am alone
The bird flies to the sky
Always staring at its greatness
And longs to be with it
But knows it’s too high
The heart longs to divulge
But how? Tell me,
If nothing is by its side
To make it beat again
For I am alone
Like a bird in my heart,
I am trapped
I long for that
Which cannot be touched
When no hope exists
Of even living
Or dying
Or breathing
Or sleeping
Or loving… near it
--------------------------------------------------
This was a poem when I just liked someone and they didn't like me back. And it was really unusual for me because at that point I hadn't liked someone for maybe four years, and then to just randomly like someone and not be able to have them was like torture. It was such a new feeling, and such a strange sensation. It was weird.
I’m so helpless
She’s so beautiful
So, so gorgeous
Maybe I love her
What if I do?
Maybe I make her happy
What if I can?
Maybe I’ll kiss her
What if I want to?
What if I do?
What if I want to?
Maybe I should forget it
But she taunts me everyday
With her eyes
And that gliding walk
Her everyday movements
Make her more beautiful
I look on and wonder
At how amazing it would be
To have her in my arms
And tend to her every need
But her life is not for me
She lives for another
While I waste my breath on her,
And while words I utter
Come out of my heart
She tears me apart
What is she to me?
A dream or an illusion?
A goal or an obsession?
Why all the questions and oppressions?
I only ask you, blank page
Because I know the answer
She does not want me
And so I am alone
The bird flies to the sky
Always staring at its greatness
And longs to be with it
But knows it’s too high
The heart longs to divulge
But how? Tell me,
If nothing is by its side
To make it beat again
For I am alone
Like a bird in my heart,
I am trapped
I long for that
Which cannot be touched
When no hope exists
Of even living
Or dying
Or breathing
Or sleeping
Or loving… near it
--------------------------------------------------
This was a poem when I just liked someone and they didn't like me back. And it was really unusual for me because at that point I hadn't liked someone for maybe four years, and then to just randomly like someone and not be able to have them was like torture. It was such a new feeling, and such a strange sensation. It was weird.
Passion Pains
Like the sun and moon
You and I intertwine
Beauty and grace as we may be,
We’re never completely one
The rivers and streams
That endlessly seem
To glide down your face
Fall with our grace
And the moans of depression
That we soon learn are real
Are holding us apart
On opposite sides of the world
Like mountains and valleys
You and I combine
The highs and lows seem to glow
But never shine in time
Because the earth beneath us
Is constantly shifting
And moving us so close
Just to tear our hearts out
And in this endless cycle
Faces are not met
For we will only regret
We should just forget
I wish you and I could
Break from these forces
That bend and break
Our little obsession
We are not meant to be
Because a rose by any name
Is just as sweet
But a soul by any passion
Is never set free
You’ve deluded yourself
Your own light blinds you
Your love overtakes you
You try to come to me
But I am out of reach
And so you hear my voice
And try to see me again
But you are oh, so helpless
And cannot amend
Try and fail
Reach and fall
Go on the edge
Just to lose it all
Fall for me, will you?
You will only die
Because as your love grew,
Mine went awry
--------------------------------------------------
This is a poem about when someone likes you but they can't see that you don't like them back. It's a slightly mean poem, but sometimes the truth hurts, you know? It's a sincere poem I guess, but I didn't write it coming directly from me. I guess a part of me was in it, but it isn't directly related to my life.
You and I intertwine
Beauty and grace as we may be,
We’re never completely one
The rivers and streams
That endlessly seem
To glide down your face
Fall with our grace
And the moans of depression
That we soon learn are real
Are holding us apart
On opposite sides of the world
Like mountains and valleys
You and I combine
The highs and lows seem to glow
But never shine in time
Because the earth beneath us
Is constantly shifting
And moving us so close
Just to tear our hearts out
And in this endless cycle
Faces are not met
For we will only regret
We should just forget
I wish you and I could
Break from these forces
That bend and break
Our little obsession
We are not meant to be
Because a rose by any name
Is just as sweet
But a soul by any passion
Is never set free
You’ve deluded yourself
Your own light blinds you
Your love overtakes you
You try to come to me
But I am out of reach
And so you hear my voice
And try to see me again
But you are oh, so helpless
And cannot amend
Try and fail
Reach and fall
Go on the edge
Just to lose it all
Fall for me, will you?
You will only die
Because as your love grew,
Mine went awry
--------------------------------------------------
This is a poem about when someone likes you but they can't see that you don't like them back. It's a slightly mean poem, but sometimes the truth hurts, you know? It's a sincere poem I guess, but I didn't write it coming directly from me. I guess a part of me was in it, but it isn't directly related to my life.
Profound Awakening
In this dim light
I sit here alone
Alone and afraid
For no one is with me
And in this dark nothing
I can be who I am
I can love and write and sing
But I am not happy
The world doesn’t want me
So it traps me inside myself
And I walk the Earth
With my dark world inside me
These people don’t love me
So I try to love myself
And somehow I ask:
What is there to love?
Because the world doesn’t want me,
I don’t want to love myself
Because they can’t accept me,
I feel that I shouldn’t either
But they are all blind
And they live in the light
That only blinds and kills
And takes your breath away
I live in the dark
Alone and afraid
But from my fear comes knowledge
And I become my own light
For the world is light
But shall soon diminish
And as I was bleak
So I will shine
I will grow large
And soon you’ll have to accept me
You will sleep
And soon I’ll have to wake you
Because I never sleep
But you always do
You shut your eyes
And therefore your mind
And forget me
And your needs
I will be there
In my dark corners
Waking you out of your
Egotistical and brilliant sleep
--------------------------------------------------
This is a poem about how isolated people feel sometimes. But even though we are like no one else, we are special and shouldn't feel different in a bad way. We always have something to give, always something good that no one else has. Always something nicely odd about us. And that's what we need to see, and tell the world that we deserve to be accepted.
I sit here alone
Alone and afraid
For no one is with me
And in this dark nothing
I can be who I am
I can love and write and sing
But I am not happy
The world doesn’t want me
So it traps me inside myself
And I walk the Earth
With my dark world inside me
These people don’t love me
So I try to love myself
And somehow I ask:
What is there to love?
Because the world doesn’t want me,
I don’t want to love myself
Because they can’t accept me,
I feel that I shouldn’t either
But they are all blind
And they live in the light
That only blinds and kills
And takes your breath away
I live in the dark
Alone and afraid
But from my fear comes knowledge
And I become my own light
For the world is light
But shall soon diminish
And as I was bleak
So I will shine
I will grow large
And soon you’ll have to accept me
You will sleep
And soon I’ll have to wake you
Because I never sleep
But you always do
You shut your eyes
And therefore your mind
And forget me
And your needs
I will be there
In my dark corners
Waking you out of your
Egotistical and brilliant sleep
--------------------------------------------------
This is a poem about how isolated people feel sometimes. But even though we are like no one else, we are special and shouldn't feel different in a bad way. We always have something to give, always something good that no one else has. Always something nicely odd about us. And that's what we need to see, and tell the world that we deserve to be accepted.
Love's Warmth
I always prayed
I always pleaded
For You to give me purpose
To tell me what to do
I guess I wanted it
Because I didn’t want to go back
But it always got me
And dragged me away
Away from You
Away from Your plans
Away from my dreams
Locked into nothingness
I guess I wanted it
Because I feel so guilty
I’ve wronged You so many times
So why do You forgive me?
I wanted to make it up to You
For what I did, what I chose
I don’t deserve what You’ve given me
I don’t deserve You
I’ve asked myself why You love me
I still don’t understand how or why
I don’t know how You can show me mercy
When all I’ve done is turn my back on You
But You said, “I love you
And I’ll continue loving you
I’ll hold you tight
And keep you warm
I’ll give you food
I’ll give you family
I’ll give you safety
I can give you unconditional love”
You said all these things
And I still don’t understand
But that’s why You’re God
And You reign over us
So take me in your arms
And show me Your path
Tell me of Your grace
And let me feel Your warmth
Tell me You love me
Because I still can’t believe it
Tell me You’ll hug me
Because I still wanna feel it
--------------------------------------------------
This is another "christian" poem. It's just a poem about how away I was from God and i really just wanted to be with Him, but couldn't find a way to. It's also about how amazing God's love is for us, even though we can't love him the same way or do everything he's done for us. He still loves us, and that's what always amazes me.
I always pleaded
For You to give me purpose
To tell me what to do
I guess I wanted it
Because I didn’t want to go back
But it always got me
And dragged me away
Away from You
Away from Your plans
Away from my dreams
Locked into nothingness
I guess I wanted it
Because I feel so guilty
I’ve wronged You so many times
So why do You forgive me?
I wanted to make it up to You
For what I did, what I chose
I don’t deserve what You’ve given me
I don’t deserve You
I’ve asked myself why You love me
I still don’t understand how or why
I don’t know how You can show me mercy
When all I’ve done is turn my back on You
But You said, “I love you
And I’ll continue loving you
I’ll hold you tight
And keep you warm
I’ll give you food
I’ll give you family
I’ll give you safety
I can give you unconditional love”
You said all these things
And I still don’t understand
But that’s why You’re God
And You reign over us
So take me in your arms
And show me Your path
Tell me of Your grace
And let me feel Your warmth
Tell me You love me
Because I still can’t believe it
Tell me You’ll hug me
Because I still wanna feel it
--------------------------------------------------
This is another "christian" poem. It's just a poem about how away I was from God and i really just wanted to be with Him, but couldn't find a way to. It's also about how amazing God's love is for us, even though we can't love him the same way or do everything he's done for us. He still loves us, and that's what always amazes me.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Cold Chains
The sex, the money
The pressure, my honey
We can't be wasting
All of our time
This build up inside
Is getting too big
I need to let it out
I can't let it reside
And so these days
Alone and without meaning
Have made a statement
Of my demeaning spirit
And so these emotions
Have built up
And the pressure
Has burst
Leave me be
And let me live
Or die, if you please
For I do not belong
To you
Stop telling me
I can't and won't
Stop saying
"Sergio, don't"
Because you're not my God
And you're not my mother
You are by my side
When I have no other
But that doesn't mean
That you can push me
And chain me to you
I'll just pull away
So let me be
And set me free
Leave me alone
To be blind or see
--------------------------------------------------
This poem was just when I was annoyed with everyone. I was just frustrated with all the crap going on... And when I was writing it, it was at night and my mom was yelling at me to go to sleep, so I got even more annoyed with that... It's not really my style, I don't know what happened but here it is.
The pressure, my honey
We can't be wasting
All of our time
This build up inside
Is getting too big
I need to let it out
I can't let it reside
And so these days
Alone and without meaning
Have made a statement
Of my demeaning spirit
And so these emotions
Have built up
And the pressure
Has burst
Leave me be
And let me live
Or die, if you please
For I do not belong
To you
Stop telling me
I can't and won't
Stop saying
"Sergio, don't"
Because you're not my God
And you're not my mother
You are by my side
When I have no other
But that doesn't mean
That you can push me
And chain me to you
I'll just pull away
So let me be
And set me free
Leave me alone
To be blind or see
--------------------------------------------------
This poem was just when I was annoyed with everyone. I was just frustrated with all the crap going on... And when I was writing it, it was at night and my mom was yelling at me to go to sleep, so I got even more annoyed with that... It's not really my style, I don't know what happened but here it is.
A New Moon
The moon shines tonight
It shines true and high
I am captured by its light
And can't turn away
But these tears
Distort my vision
And I don't see
What I used to
And like the moon
You have sides and faces
You are dark and light
And somehow you captivate me
So like the moon
Turn away slowly
Just to come back to me
A new moon
--------------------------------------------------
One night, going from North Port to Sarasota, I was looking at a 1/3 full moon. And i just thought about how many poems I made about the moon but never talked about it's phases. And so I thought it would be really cool if I made an analogy of that with a girl a guy just couldn't understand. This was my result.
It shines true and high
I am captured by its light
And can't turn away
But these tears
Distort my vision
And I don't see
What I used to
And like the moon
You have sides and faces
You are dark and light
And somehow you captivate me
So like the moon
Turn away slowly
Just to come back to me
A new moon
--------------------------------------------------
One night, going from North Port to Sarasota, I was looking at a 1/3 full moon. And i just thought about how many poems I made about the moon but never talked about it's phases. And so I thought it would be really cool if I made an analogy of that with a girl a guy just couldn't understand. This was my result.
Going But Already Here
I’m telling you I’m leaving
I’m saying you should stay
I’m screaming for mercy
But I know it’s worthless
It’s been so long
We were so together
But my heart told me
That we’re not ready
I’m not leaving
Because I dislike you
But I’m not staying
Because I don’t fully love you
I need to see
That you’re good for me
And understand that I
Need you in my life
Let me stray
Even though it hurts
Allow me to leave
Because I believe
I’m coming back
Our dreams are broken for the moment
Our hearts don’t seem to be working
My life is playing with yours
So let me go to know why
I know you’re good for me
And I know I need you
But it’s hard to follow
When you don’t feel
I’m lost and learning
Mostly hurt and isolated
A little out of luck
And my vision’s faded
So let me stray
Even though you hurt
Allow me to die
Because I believe
We can come to life
--------------------------------------------------
This was when I just thought I needed to go find what I wanted. I had never really explored anything outside of a christian lifestyle, and so I felt like I didn't value it highly enough. I wanted to find what I actually wanted and so felt I needed to go away from God and what I was confortable with. And I created this.
I’m saying you should stay
I’m screaming for mercy
But I know it’s worthless
It’s been so long
We were so together
But my heart told me
That we’re not ready
I’m not leaving
Because I dislike you
But I’m not staying
Because I don’t fully love you
I need to see
That you’re good for me
And understand that I
Need you in my life
Let me stray
Even though it hurts
Allow me to leave
Because I believe
I’m coming back
Our dreams are broken for the moment
Our hearts don’t seem to be working
My life is playing with yours
So let me go to know why
I know you’re good for me
And I know I need you
But it’s hard to follow
When you don’t feel
I’m lost and learning
Mostly hurt and isolated
A little out of luck
And my vision’s faded
So let me stray
Even though you hurt
Allow me to die
Because I believe
We can come to life
--------------------------------------------------
This was when I just thought I needed to go find what I wanted. I had never really explored anything outside of a christian lifestyle, and so I felt like I didn't value it highly enough. I wanted to find what I actually wanted and so felt I needed to go away from God and what I was confortable with. And I created this.
Muffiny Love
Love muffin, love muffin
The best muffin in the world
With your awesome insides
And your awesome outsides
You are just plain awesome
Love muffin, my love muffin
Never leave me alone
Cause then I'd be a lonely wittle muffin
With nowhere to go
I'm gonna keep you forever
And hope to God you don't rot
Cuz that would be sad
And I would cry
So stay with me, my love muffin
And never rot away
You always seem to be able
To make my troubles disappear
--------------------------------------------------
This was after a sort of strange conversation with Emily, as usual. And we came to the conclusion that I was gonna call her love muffin. And I was on my blog at the time, and i was just having so much fun and feeling so peaceful that I wrote this. I was laughing so much while I was writing it, and I still laugh when I read "and i would cry" cuz its just... there. I don't know, it just seems funny to me. But I love it anyways, and that's why it's here.
The best muffin in the world
With your awesome insides
And your awesome outsides
You are just plain awesome
Love muffin, my love muffin
Never leave me alone
Cause then I'd be a lonely wittle muffin
With nowhere to go
I'm gonna keep you forever
And hope to God you don't rot
Cuz that would be sad
And I would cry
So stay with me, my love muffin
And never rot away
You always seem to be able
To make my troubles disappear
--------------------------------------------------
This was after a sort of strange conversation with Emily, as usual. And we came to the conclusion that I was gonna call her love muffin. And I was on my blog at the time, and i was just having so much fun and feeling so peaceful that I wrote this. I was laughing so much while I was writing it, and I still laugh when I read "and i would cry" cuz its just... there. I don't know, it just seems funny to me. But I love it anyways, and that's why it's here.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Mundane Illusions
Will you ever
Try to look beyond yourself?
Will you ever
Try to understand someone else?
Because we all need
To live and breathe
And to fight and argue
Will solve nothing
This world is so deceiving
This life is unforgiving
Your words are so convincing
But do you believe?
Do you believe?
Why does it always need to happen?
The weak are destroyed
And the unjust move on
This world is just repeating
"And so?" you ask
"And what?" you say
You win, and lose nothing
But they have nothing
To lose
In this eternal fight
Darkness covers light
But if only for a moment
We shine
And in our short life
The sadness comes to mind
But if only for a second
We smile
'Cuz we all need
Someone to believe
To know they're always there
For you
'Cuz this world is blind
And your life loses sense
You try to understand
But this world won't let you
Blind, deaf, and mute
You can't help but try to see
Seeing nothing, you scream
Deaf, mute, and blind
You can't help but try to hear
Hearing nothing, you will see
Mute, blind, and deaf
You can't help trying to confess
But confessions turn into strange noise
'Cuz this world is fading
But pretends it's thriving
So we all believe
In nothing real
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of my longer ones. I made it in school, a period after I made the poem below. As I said in that post, it wasn't a very good day. I was walking to my next class and heard a guy playing the guitar. He was just playing three chords, very simple ones too, and I just sang the first part of this poem to it. I then thought of the second part and kept saying it over and over so that I could write it down in class. Since it came from music, some parts seem more lyrical than poetic, but that doesn't mean it can't be a poem. I think my best work might be inspired by music.
Try to look beyond yourself?
Will you ever
Try to understand someone else?
Because we all need
To live and breathe
And to fight and argue
Will solve nothing
This world is so deceiving
This life is unforgiving
Your words are so convincing
But do you believe?
Do you believe?
Why does it always need to happen?
The weak are destroyed
And the unjust move on
This world is just repeating
"And so?" you ask
"And what?" you say
You win, and lose nothing
But they have nothing
To lose
In this eternal fight
Darkness covers light
But if only for a moment
We shine
And in our short life
The sadness comes to mind
But if only for a second
We smile
'Cuz we all need
Someone to believe
To know they're always there
For you
'Cuz this world is blind
And your life loses sense
You try to understand
But this world won't let you
Blind, deaf, and mute
You can't help but try to see
Seeing nothing, you scream
Deaf, mute, and blind
You can't help but try to hear
Hearing nothing, you will see
Mute, blind, and deaf
You can't help trying to confess
But confessions turn into strange noise
'Cuz this world is fading
But pretends it's thriving
So we all believe
In nothing real
--------------------------------------------------
This is one of my longer ones. I made it in school, a period after I made the poem below. As I said in that post, it wasn't a very good day. I was walking to my next class and heard a guy playing the guitar. He was just playing three chords, very simple ones too, and I just sang the first part of this poem to it. I then thought of the second part and kept saying it over and over so that I could write it down in class. Since it came from music, some parts seem more lyrical than poetic, but that doesn't mean it can't be a poem. I think my best work might be inspired by music.
Sweet Dreams
So when is the hypocracy going to end?
When will we stop living to prolong death?
When will the fake smiles show their real faces?
And why hasn't it happened yet?
My body can't take it
My eyes can't hold back
My feet cannot move on
And my mouth is tired of smiling
The awkwardness of these people
Is the proof of stupidity
And inexperience
And sweet bliss
Why don't I feel bliss?
Must I become like everyone else?
I can't believe the path I'm taking
I don't understand why it's so different
Let me be free
To do my own thing
Allow me to see
Who I'm meant to be
And if I turn back
Embrace me with open arms
And if I don't
Stay with me
These hands will soon cease
My eyes won't keep looking up
My soul is tired and depleted
So I'm going to sleep
--------------------------------------------------
I wrote this poem on the day I wrote the poem above this one. It was a very tiring day, and I wasn't so good spiritually speaking. I was just down the whole day, not depressed but not happy either. This was written a period before the poem above, and I think the other poem came out better (probably because of how I got inspired to write it).
When will we stop living to prolong death?
When will the fake smiles show their real faces?
And why hasn't it happened yet?
My body can't take it
My eyes can't hold back
My feet cannot move on
And my mouth is tired of smiling
The awkwardness of these people
Is the proof of stupidity
And inexperience
And sweet bliss
Why don't I feel bliss?
Must I become like everyone else?
I can't believe the path I'm taking
I don't understand why it's so different
Let me be free
To do my own thing
Allow me to see
Who I'm meant to be
And if I turn back
Embrace me with open arms
And if I don't
Stay with me
These hands will soon cease
My eyes won't keep looking up
My soul is tired and depleted
So I'm going to sleep
--------------------------------------------------
I wrote this poem on the day I wrote the poem above this one. It was a very tiring day, and I wasn't so good spiritually speaking. I was just down the whole day, not depressed but not happy either. This was written a period before the poem above, and I think the other poem came out better (probably because of how I got inspired to write it).
Be in Me
My heart is dying
This mind is so polluted
My body is going to collapse
And I don't see
I wish I could see You
But like the sun,
No one can look at You and all of You
Reveal Yourself to my eyes
I wish I could fell You right now
But like a majestic river,
I need to find You first
Don't hide Your touch from me
My heart loses its passions
And turns to other things
My mind thinks of other things
And forgets its passions
My body doesn't feel
The touch of life
And like a person
You come to me
Son, be my heart
You beat life never-endingly
Father, be my mind
You've planned and done so much
Breath, be my body
You drive countless blessings
The body of a christian
Is composed of many things
But lets pray that we have
A heart, mind, and a body
We were put on this Earth
But do not belong to it
We do not conform
So be a new self
Take this unusable everything
And live in it, so it can live
For and with You forever
And be used
--------------------------------------------------
I wrote this a couple days before the post below. I was thinking about how God can be compared to a body, and I thought that that was such a beautiful thing that I decided to make a poem about it.
This mind is so polluted
My body is going to collapse
And I don't see
I wish I could see You
But like the sun,
No one can look at You and all of You
Reveal Yourself to my eyes
I wish I could fell You right now
But like a majestic river,
I need to find You first
Don't hide Your touch from me
My heart loses its passions
And turns to other things
My mind thinks of other things
And forgets its passions
My body doesn't feel
The touch of life
And like a person
You come to me
Son, be my heart
You beat life never-endingly
Father, be my mind
You've planned and done so much
Breath, be my body
You drive countless blessings
The body of a christian
Is composed of many things
But lets pray that we have
A heart, mind, and a body
We were put on this Earth
But do not belong to it
We do not conform
So be a new self
Take this unusable everything
And live in it, so it can live
For and with You forever
And be used
--------------------------------------------------
I wrote this a couple days before the post below. I was thinking about how God can be compared to a body, and I thought that that was such a beautiful thing that I decided to make a poem about it.
A New World in Me
Throw me up into the skies
So that I can taste the height
And let me fall to the Earth
So I can feel You catch me
This injured animal, so innocent
Is so scared of you
It doesn't understand the way You work
So it runs away
The other, though, sees refuge
And lets you carry it
Even not understanding
It knows You'll love forever
Help me to be
The person You planned
Help me to see
That I need You in me
So take this broken wing
And help me soar
Take my polluted heart
And make me new
Supernova
Make me explode
Make me implode
Make me pour out
Supernova
Fill me with grace
Fill me with love
Fill me with You
Let the blast show the world
That You are its Light
Let this new star
Shine for You
I'll run and fly
I'll sing and dance
I'll laugh and cry
With You by my side
--------------------------------------------------
It was late at night and I was listening to Shawn McDonald, a christian singer. I thought about how God is like a person who takes care of a bird with a broken wing. Some birds don't want help, being scared, but others take it. It was really late and I tried to go back to bed but when I thought of the first stanza in my head, I had to write it down. And just to let you know, "nova" means "new" in portuguese. It's kind of a play on words in the poem.
So that I can taste the height
And let me fall to the Earth
So I can feel You catch me
This injured animal, so innocent
Is so scared of you
It doesn't understand the way You work
So it runs away
The other, though, sees refuge
And lets you carry it
Even not understanding
It knows You'll love forever
Help me to be
The person You planned
Help me to see
That I need You in me
So take this broken wing
And help me soar
Take my polluted heart
And make me new
Supernova
Make me explode
Make me implode
Make me pour out
Supernova
Fill me with grace
Fill me with love
Fill me with You
Let the blast show the world
That You are its Light
Let this new star
Shine for You
I'll run and fly
I'll sing and dance
I'll laugh and cry
With You by my side
--------------------------------------------------
It was late at night and I was listening to Shawn McDonald, a christian singer. I thought about how God is like a person who takes care of a bird with a broken wing. Some birds don't want help, being scared, but others take it. It was really late and I tried to go back to bed but when I thought of the first stanza in my head, I had to write it down. And just to let you know, "nova" means "new" in portuguese. It's kind of a play on words in the poem.
World of Broken Things
When have the skies been so perfect?
At what time have trees looked so beautiful?
When have I felt so secure?
When did i see you?
It was then that everything turned
And the Earth itself turned to beauty
With you in my view
With you in my view
I was comatose then
When did time stop?
You were perfect then
At what time did we die?
That death so pure
That the world died with it
And the sky lost its glory
Your eyes escaped me
Do you remember?
When we shared a treasure
And said "Never let go"?
Don't you remember?
When has Utopia been so empty?
At what time did we lose everything?
When did I become so lonely?
I suppose it was at that time
When the house of mirrors crashed
And glass shattered around me
Into my eyes and arms
Keeping you out of my sight and grasp
--------------------------------------------------
This poem was inspired by a night I rememeber. It was freezing outside and I was holding someone in my arms, outside of the building we were supposed to be in. And both of us clung to each other, wishing to go inside but never wanting to leave that moment. The sky was perfect, the cold wind made each others' warmth seem too good to be true. I was thinking about that night and wrote this, but I changed it a little and made it sound as if the girl is leaving him.
At what time have trees looked so beautiful?
When have I felt so secure?
When did i see you?
It was then that everything turned
And the Earth itself turned to beauty
With you in my view
With you in my view
I was comatose then
When did time stop?
You were perfect then
At what time did we die?
That death so pure
That the world died with it
And the sky lost its glory
Your eyes escaped me
Do you remember?
When we shared a treasure
And said "Never let go"?
Don't you remember?
When has Utopia been so empty?
At what time did we lose everything?
When did I become so lonely?
I suppose it was at that time
When the house of mirrors crashed
And glass shattered around me
Into my eyes and arms
Keeping you out of my sight and grasp
--------------------------------------------------
This poem was inspired by a night I rememeber. It was freezing outside and I was holding someone in my arms, outside of the building we were supposed to be in. And both of us clung to each other, wishing to go inside but never wanting to leave that moment. The sky was perfect, the cold wind made each others' warmth seem too good to be true. I was thinking about that night and wrote this, but I changed it a little and made it sound as if the girl is leaving him.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Don't Look Through Tears
Do you see that moon?
Do you see these trees?
Don’t you see my body?
They all shine, grow, and live for you
Tonight
So what if you cried?
It’s not worth the tears
So what if you died?
I can bring you to life
You see that moon,
Thousands of miles away?
It shines in your eyes
To make you impossibly beautiful
See these trees,
Trying to grow more?
They reach stars to drop leaves
That only glorify you more
Don’t you see my body,
Holding all of you?
It breathes life for you
So empty yourself
Give yourself to me
As I’ve given to you
So we can be empty selves
But overflowing with each other
--------------------------------------------------
This was written on the car ride home, from North Port. I was looking at the moon, and since I love it so much, I felt inspired, I guess. This is another poem that has nothing to do with my personal life. I was going to make it a sort of "come back to me, forgive me" poem, but I thought this would be better. In the beginning, the guy is talking about himself as if he's talking about a thing, something he can just give away. And when he says "holding all of you," it doesn't just mean physical. He takes in her pain and sorrow, to give back happiness. You could look at this poem as if it was jesus talking to you, or you can just look at it romantically. It works both ways.
Do you see these trees?
Don’t you see my body?
They all shine, grow, and live for you
Tonight
So what if you cried?
It’s not worth the tears
So what if you died?
I can bring you to life
You see that moon,
Thousands of miles away?
It shines in your eyes
To make you impossibly beautiful
See these trees,
Trying to grow more?
They reach stars to drop leaves
That only glorify you more
Don’t you see my body,
Holding all of you?
It breathes life for you
So empty yourself
Give yourself to me
As I’ve given to you
So we can be empty selves
But overflowing with each other
--------------------------------------------------
This was written on the car ride home, from North Port. I was looking at the moon, and since I love it so much, I felt inspired, I guess. This is another poem that has nothing to do with my personal life. I was going to make it a sort of "come back to me, forgive me" poem, but I thought this would be better. In the beginning, the guy is talking about himself as if he's talking about a thing, something he can just give away. And when he says "holding all of you," it doesn't just mean physical. He takes in her pain and sorrow, to give back happiness. You could look at this poem as if it was jesus talking to you, or you can just look at it romantically. It works both ways.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Amnesty
What love is this?
You gave Your Only Son
And shed Your blood
For Your people
What love is this?
You love the world
Even being dark and sinful
And turning its back to You
What love is this?
You gave us Your Word
You give us Your love
You give us Your spirit
You give us Life
Who are we
That You thought of us
And planned our lives
Before creating the world?
Who are we
That You are always with arms open,
With a heart that's ready to love,
And a cure for our problems?
What love is this, tell me
Teach me about it
Let me feel it deeply
Show me Your wonders
Your perfect plans have no end
And Your dreams for us continue
Even if we overlook Your desires
You never turn away from us
This world is becoming darker
With each passing day
But You came with the Light
With the Way, the Truth, and the Life
And You showed us mercy
You showed us forgiveness
You showed us true holiness
What love is this?
I will live asking
What love this is
That the Father has for us
And for the world
That lives for Him
And breathes His Works
I will live giving thanks
For the family I've been given
For the healing He's given
For the blessings in my life
The growth He has allowed me to have
And the Life he gave for us
I will live my life
Because of Him
I will live my life
For Him
Because He loved the world so much
That He gave His one and only Son
So that no one perishes
But has eternal life in Him
He cries with us
He laughs with us
He loves with us
But He especially heals us
--------------------------------------------------
This is a christian poem. It was inspired by a couple days filled with blessings from God. There were two occasions where I prayed for I think half an hour in those days with a group, and there were preachings along with those prayer moments in those groups. The preaching really touched me, but what came into this poem are the words I said while praying. The phrases that really touched me that I said while praying were "What love is this?" and "Your perfect plans have no end." The talk about healing was one of the preachings. When I said "What love is this?" while praying, I kept imagining a dark sphere that represented the world. I kept wondering how God could love that... How can He love people who spit at His Words and laugh at the sound of His Names and Love? But that's why He's God, and that's why we praise and worship Him. In conclusion, this poem was influenced by a couple days of God, and the words that came out of my mouth to praise and glorify His Name.
You gave Your Only Son
And shed Your blood
For Your people
What love is this?
You love the world
Even being dark and sinful
And turning its back to You
What love is this?
You gave us Your Word
You give us Your love
You give us Your spirit
You give us Life
Who are we
That You thought of us
And planned our lives
Before creating the world?
Who are we
That You are always with arms open,
With a heart that's ready to love,
And a cure for our problems?
What love is this, tell me
Teach me about it
Let me feel it deeply
Show me Your wonders
Your perfect plans have no end
And Your dreams for us continue
Even if we overlook Your desires
You never turn away from us
This world is becoming darker
With each passing day
But You came with the Light
With the Way, the Truth, and the Life
And You showed us mercy
You showed us forgiveness
You showed us true holiness
What love is this?
I will live asking
What love this is
That the Father has for us
And for the world
That lives for Him
And breathes His Works
I will live giving thanks
For the family I've been given
For the healing He's given
For the blessings in my life
The growth He has allowed me to have
And the Life he gave for us
I will live my life
Because of Him
I will live my life
For Him
Because He loved the world so much
That He gave His one and only Son
So that no one perishes
But has eternal life in Him
He cries with us
He laughs with us
He loves with us
But He especially heals us
--------------------------------------------------
This is a christian poem. It was inspired by a couple days filled with blessings from God. There were two occasions where I prayed for I think half an hour in those days with a group, and there were preachings along with those prayer moments in those groups. The preaching really touched me, but what came into this poem are the words I said while praying. The phrases that really touched me that I said while praying were "What love is this?" and "Your perfect plans have no end." The talk about healing was one of the preachings. When I said "What love is this?" while praying, I kept imagining a dark sphere that represented the world. I kept wondering how God could love that... How can He love people who spit at His Words and laugh at the sound of His Names and Love? But that's why He's God, and that's why we praise and worship Him. In conclusion, this poem was influenced by a couple days of God, and the words that came out of my mouth to praise and glorify His Name.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Miss Mystery
I'm gonna go
Find that special one
Go running towards her
That mystery girl
When I see her, I'll know
We'll look at the stars
And walk down the beach
And feel the burning in our hearts
I'll meet her parents
And she'll meet mine
And whether they like it or not
We'll live lives intertwined
That day won't have an awkward kiss
That day will live in eternal bliss
I'll see that angel fly slowly down the aisle
And know she's meant for me
I'll find her, that girl
I'll solve this mystery
And in case I don't find her
I just hope she's looking for me
--------------------------------------------------
This poem was a spontaneous one, I think that makes two by now (july 19). By "spontaneous", I mean I wrote it while I was writing on my blog out of nowhere. Both were made right before I got off. The first one is "These Tears" and, obviously, this is the second. I was talking about that girl that liked me but never told me, and realized I had urges to go out with girls I see (not in a normal way). It could have been because I missed my opportunity with the February Girl (that's what I call her), so I want to take every chance I get, but it could be something else. So I was just about to finish the post and wrote "I'm gonna go", but then I thought of it in another way when I read it over. I thought of it like "I'm gonna go do something," not "I'm gonna get off." Also, "We'll live lives intertwined" is from another poem of mine and the "awkward kiss" thing is from that same poem. I thought it fit quite nicely in this one.
Find that special one
Go running towards her
That mystery girl
When I see her, I'll know
We'll look at the stars
And walk down the beach
And feel the burning in our hearts
I'll meet her parents
And she'll meet mine
And whether they like it or not
We'll live lives intertwined
That day won't have an awkward kiss
That day will live in eternal bliss
I'll see that angel fly slowly down the aisle
And know she's meant for me
I'll find her, that girl
I'll solve this mystery
And in case I don't find her
I just hope she's looking for me
--------------------------------------------------
This poem was a spontaneous one, I think that makes two by now (july 19). By "spontaneous", I mean I wrote it while I was writing on my blog out of nowhere. Both were made right before I got off. The first one is "These Tears" and, obviously, this is the second. I was talking about that girl that liked me but never told me, and realized I had urges to go out with girls I see (not in a normal way). It could have been because I missed my opportunity with the February Girl (that's what I call her), so I want to take every chance I get, but it could be something else. So I was just about to finish the post and wrote "I'm gonna go", but then I thought of it in another way when I read it over. I thought of it like "I'm gonna go do something," not "I'm gonna get off." Also, "We'll live lives intertwined" is from another poem of mine and the "awkward kiss" thing is from that same poem. I thought it fit quite nicely in this one.
Could It Be?
How many hearts must I break
How many faces should I remember
How many hands should I hold in mine
Until I find Her?
Could it be the one passing by?
Could it be that quiet, gorgeous girl?
Could it be my vice?
I wish I knew
I wish I could know
Which one I can hold forever
Which one I should whisper to at night
Which one?
But why should I worry?
I'm way too young
I have my friends
And they'll keep my company
I don't trust myself
Maybe I'm not ready
I could let myself into someone's heart
Just to realize I want out
Those broken hearts should hold on
Hold to the best of the memories
While I try to forget
That I abandoned them all
I wish I could say sorry
I wish I could make happiness
But it happened already
And there's no turning back
Why do I write these words?
Why do I need to shed these tears?
Shakespeare was wrong
I wish I never loved at all
--------------------------------------------------
This poem is full of questions in it, so a title that is a question seems to work just right. It was the second poem made in school in Brazil, and it was a continuing expression of my sadness towards the situation with the girl who liked me but never told me. I thought about how hurt she must have been, and at the time I was talking to an ex that basically hated me and says she can't have a healthy relationship after me. I was annoyed that I had to go through all of this junk and then I had to let another girl down with this. I listened to John Mayer and really liked, and cried to, "Clarity" and "I Don't Trust Myself". Then came the first part of the poem, and the rest along with it.
How many faces should I remember
How many hands should I hold in mine
Until I find Her?
Could it be the one passing by?
Could it be that quiet, gorgeous girl?
Could it be my vice?
I wish I knew
I wish I could know
Which one I can hold forever
Which one I should whisper to at night
Which one?
But why should I worry?
I'm way too young
I have my friends
And they'll keep my company
I don't trust myself
Maybe I'm not ready
I could let myself into someone's heart
Just to realize I want out
Those broken hearts should hold on
Hold to the best of the memories
While I try to forget
That I abandoned them all
I wish I could say sorry
I wish I could make happiness
But it happened already
And there's no turning back
Why do I write these words?
Why do I need to shed these tears?
Shakespeare was wrong
I wish I never loved at all
--------------------------------------------------
This poem is full of questions in it, so a title that is a question seems to work just right. It was the second poem made in school in Brazil, and it was a continuing expression of my sadness towards the situation with the girl who liked me but never told me. I thought about how hurt she must have been, and at the time I was talking to an ex that basically hated me and says she can't have a healthy relationship after me. I was annoyed that I had to go through all of this junk and then I had to let another girl down with this. I listened to John Mayer and really liked, and cried to, "Clarity" and "I Don't Trust Myself". Then came the first part of the poem, and the rest along with it.
Invisible Colors
You could have kissed me
You could have told me
No one could have known
How I wish I did
It was that loving month
In which it all started
But how was I left out?
You forgot to mention me
We could have made it
We could have been one
Instead of two strangers
Gazing at each other’s eyes
It wasn’t your fault
We were both too scared
You left
But I never stopped you
I wonder if I’ll ever see
The endless blue ocean
That lives in those crystals
Those precious stars
Ever again
I was wrong
You were wrong
But together
We were right
Will I ever be able to touch
That skin that floated by?
Will I ever be able to glance
At your cherubic face again?
I know I didn’t fight for you
But I wish you had for me
I wish those crystals would have looked back
And shown me their true colors
Now only time will tell
Only the future has the answer
To the fatal question
Of what would have been
And what might be
Without knowing it
You soldiered on
But I noticed your march
And saw wings
Without knowing it, you broke it
But it’s better to know
That we had an invisible something
Than believe we had nothing
From here, I have invisible tears
For our invisible selves
And only prayers that you come back
To make us see each other
Transparent hearts
How tiring
Secret glances
How frustrating
--------------------------------------------------
It all started with a gorgeous girl at my school who was leaving when the year ended. I thought she was really pretty, but I thought she didn't like me and I thought it wouldn't go anywhere, so I made nothing of it. On May 31st (the day after the last day of school), she sends me a message over the internet and tells me she liked me since February. She said she never told me because every day she thought "no, today isn't the right day" and on graduation day she looked for me but didn't have much luck. On the last day of school, I left early and she saw me leaving and wanted to say she liked me but she was already crying from the emotion of moving so she decided against it. I was so shocked with this news that I thought it was a joke at first. I had to read the message multiple times before I took it in, and I... overreacted. I cried and thought that if she had told me, we could have had something. I even wrote another poem. But that's another poem for another post.
You could have told me
No one could have known
How I wish I did
It was that loving month
In which it all started
But how was I left out?
You forgot to mention me
We could have made it
We could have been one
Instead of two strangers
Gazing at each other’s eyes
It wasn’t your fault
We were both too scared
You left
But I never stopped you
I wonder if I’ll ever see
The endless blue ocean
That lives in those crystals
Those precious stars
Ever again
I was wrong
You were wrong
But together
We were right
Will I ever be able to touch
That skin that floated by?
Will I ever be able to glance
At your cherubic face again?
I know I didn’t fight for you
But I wish you had for me
I wish those crystals would have looked back
And shown me their true colors
Now only time will tell
Only the future has the answer
To the fatal question
Of what would have been
And what might be
Without knowing it
You soldiered on
But I noticed your march
And saw wings
Without knowing it, you broke it
But it’s better to know
That we had an invisible something
Than believe we had nothing
From here, I have invisible tears
For our invisible selves
And only prayers that you come back
To make us see each other
Transparent hearts
How tiring
Secret glances
How frustrating
--------------------------------------------------
It all started with a gorgeous girl at my school who was leaving when the year ended. I thought she was really pretty, but I thought she didn't like me and I thought it wouldn't go anywhere, so I made nothing of it. On May 31st (the day after the last day of school), she sends me a message over the internet and tells me she liked me since February. She said she never told me because every day she thought "no, today isn't the right day" and on graduation day she looked for me but didn't have much luck. On the last day of school, I left early and she saw me leaving and wanted to say she liked me but she was already crying from the emotion of moving so she decided against it. I was so shocked with this news that I thought it was a joke at first. I had to read the message multiple times before I took it in, and I... overreacted. I cried and thought that if she had told me, we could have had something. I even wrote another poem. But that's another poem for another post.
Those Stars, Those Eyes, And
I recommend taking a whole breath out loud wherever you see three little dots. Go on; you know you want to.
That night
That morning
And all the time inbetween
That we spent together
That dress you wore
Those earrings I gave you
That smile I love to provoke
And those lips... those lips
Stars seemed to fall from the sky
Into your eyes
And for a moment, heaven and earth
Were woven together for us
While you were in my arms
While my eyes drowned into yours
While you said three words
And those lips... those lips
Fire seemed to burn in my blood
And beat in my heart
Destiny had joined heaven and earth
Into us both
You took me away
Into those eyes
With that liquid stare
And those lips...
Brought me to life
--------------------------------------------------
This song was inspired by Adriana Calcanhoto, a brazilian singer, when she says in a song "heaven and earth were joined together in a moment for us both." I thought that those words were rly beautiful, and one day in school in Brazil, I wanted to write a poem. I was really stumped, but thought of this song and started writing. Thinking that the heaven-earth thing is really pretty, I decided to keep it in the middle or end of the poem for more impact. When I re-read it before, I wanted to put more dots after every "those lips," but thought that more than three would be ugly.
That night
That morning
And all the time inbetween
That we spent together
That dress you wore
Those earrings I gave you
That smile I love to provoke
And those lips... those lips
Stars seemed to fall from the sky
Into your eyes
And for a moment, heaven and earth
Were woven together for us
While you were in my arms
While my eyes drowned into yours
While you said three words
And those lips... those lips
Fire seemed to burn in my blood
And beat in my heart
Destiny had joined heaven and earth
Into us both
You took me away
Into those eyes
With that liquid stare
And those lips...
Brought me to life
--------------------------------------------------
This song was inspired by Adriana Calcanhoto, a brazilian singer, when she says in a song "heaven and earth were joined together in a moment for us both." I thought that those words were rly beautiful, and one day in school in Brazil, I wanted to write a poem. I was really stumped, but thought of this song and started writing. Thinking that the heaven-earth thing is really pretty, I decided to keep it in the middle or end of the poem for more impact. When I re-read it before, I wanted to put more dots after every "those lips," but thought that more than three would be ugly.
Just Kiss Me
So don’t make this
An awkward kiss
Press your lips onto mine
Let’s live lives intertwined
My love is yours
Till the end of time
Take this spot in my heart
And make me whole
Tonight I’ll show you
Just how much I love you
And tomorrow you’ll see
That you were meant for me
--------------------------------------------------
I was listening to Dashboard Confessional, a song called "The Best Deceptions," when I thought of this poem. The song says "This awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips will be of service to giving you away," and the music is beautiful. So I thought of this, at some late time of night at a beach house in Brazil, and immediately got my laptop and wrote it down. I still sing it as if it's the song by Dashboard when I read it.
An awkward kiss
Press your lips onto mine
Let’s live lives intertwined
My love is yours
Till the end of time
Take this spot in my heart
And make me whole
Tonight I’ll show you
Just how much I love you
And tomorrow you’ll see
That you were meant for me
--------------------------------------------------
I was listening to Dashboard Confessional, a song called "The Best Deceptions," when I thought of this poem. The song says "This awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips will be of service to giving you away," and the music is beautiful. So I thought of this, at some late time of night at a beach house in Brazil, and immediately got my laptop and wrote it down. I still sing it as if it's the song by Dashboard when I read it.
Lifelong Contradictions
So many nights
And so many days
I’ve looked into that mirror
With those streams down my face
That person looking back at me
Was never who I wanted to be
But even with my cries and pleas
No one remembers the infidelities
There’s something wrong with me
And though I know it’s not worth thinking
I ponder the reason of my breathing
And question whether this breath
Only comes with tears
It seems I’m only alive in front of that mirror
When I see that face, it seems so real
Everything before and after
Just seems so painful
With the reflection seeming so innocent
And the reality being so painful
Having both in the same moment
Is the only real thing I can feel
Breath and tears
Only come in pairs
Like sadness and loneliness
You can’t have life without despair
Why can’t I live without that mirror?
Why can’t I see the reality without the reflection?
Why does this rage need to have the sorrow afterwards?
This life… is nothing but death
Nothing but death…
Nothing but reflections…
Nothing but sadness…
Nothing but breath and tears
Evaporation is the name of this life
Dissipation is its ultimate goal
Powerful and great, it rises
Only to be forgotten the next minute
Nothing
But
Immense
Wounds
Followed
By
Exploitation
Nothing but death
Screaming and wishing for quiet
Crying and wishing for more
Feeling rage and only feeling sadness
Living life, but only prolonging death
--------------------------------------------------
What triggered this poem was this: I just got into the bedroom I shared with my brother in Brazil at night and my bro turned off my laptop when it was in the middle of a scanning process. And that could seriously mess the laptop up, so I got mad and hit the wall. Before, I always thought people that hit things when they got mad were just stupid, but now I know better. Then I sort of stepped on him, he slapped me, and in the end, I dominated the fight. I kept the laptop open and my brother was complaining about the light, and had an elevated voice while he was complaining. When I turned off the laptop, I got really sad and confused and angry and frustrated. This led me to ponder what the opposite of anger is, but at the moment I came to the conclusion that anger just is. I questioned why God hadn't answered some of my prayers and thought I would never be happy with who I was, thinking of what has just happened. Before I wrote the actual poem, I wrote this sentence: Living your life is like screaming for silence; you can get the result you’re looking for but in the end, you’d just be a hypocrite.
And so many days
I’ve looked into that mirror
With those streams down my face
That person looking back at me
Was never who I wanted to be
But even with my cries and pleas
No one remembers the infidelities
There’s something wrong with me
And though I know it’s not worth thinking
I ponder the reason of my breathing
And question whether this breath
Only comes with tears
It seems I’m only alive in front of that mirror
When I see that face, it seems so real
Everything before and after
Just seems so painful
With the reflection seeming so innocent
And the reality being so painful
Having both in the same moment
Is the only real thing I can feel
Breath and tears
Only come in pairs
Like sadness and loneliness
You can’t have life without despair
Why can’t I live without that mirror?
Why can’t I see the reality without the reflection?
Why does this rage need to have the sorrow afterwards?
This life… is nothing but death
Nothing but death…
Nothing but reflections…
Nothing but sadness…
Nothing but breath and tears
Evaporation is the name of this life
Dissipation is its ultimate goal
Powerful and great, it rises
Only to be forgotten the next minute
Nothing
But
Immense
Wounds
Followed
By
Exploitation
Nothing but death
Screaming and wishing for quiet
Crying and wishing for more
Feeling rage and only feeling sadness
Living life, but only prolonging death
--------------------------------------------------
What triggered this poem was this: I just got into the bedroom I shared with my brother in Brazil at night and my bro turned off my laptop when it was in the middle of a scanning process. And that could seriously mess the laptop up, so I got mad and hit the wall. Before, I always thought people that hit things when they got mad were just stupid, but now I know better. Then I sort of stepped on him, he slapped me, and in the end, I dominated the fight. I kept the laptop open and my brother was complaining about the light, and had an elevated voice while he was complaining. When I turned off the laptop, I got really sad and confused and angry and frustrated. This led me to ponder what the opposite of anger is, but at the moment I came to the conclusion that anger just is. I questioned why God hadn't answered some of my prayers and thought I would never be happy with who I was, thinking of what has just happened. Before I wrote the actual poem, I wrote this sentence: Living your life is like screaming for silence; you can get the result you’re looking for but in the end, you’d just be a hypocrite.
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