Running through
Turning corners.
Racing again
Trying to find you
Stuck like glue
Seeing actions
Gaping in horror
Trying to find you
Looking through
Here and there
Finding things
But looking for you
The perfect me
The real me
Are you out there,
Hiding in the corners
Of my mind?
Playing with the tide
All games, no threat
But I wonder,
Would you fret?
Singing songs not mine,
Crying tears not true,
Wondering if I'm happy.
What if this is you?
Maybe in pages,
Where emotions play free,
I'll find pieces and make
The only true me
Lost in the nothingness
That is myself
A conundrum, only amplified
By the constant searching
Are you out there?
When will you take my soul?
I'm tired of being
Who I only might be
Why don't you show yourself?
I'll then see me
Give me the real mirror
I keep seeing the ones on-screen
Solve the never-ending quest
Of meeting a me unseen
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The beginning is saying that I'm inside myself, but I act like I'm someone else. I'm seeing things (my actions, my life), being stuck like glue (nervous), gaping in horror (well, that speaks for itself), having all these things happen to me but I'm not really part of it. It feels like it's someone else doing all that, and I get to live their lives. So then the search for myself begins. The "corners of my mind" part in the fourth stanza was a clue that in the beginning, I'm "turning corners" in my head, in myself. This whole poem is a plea for identity. Maybe I'm sort of strong like that guy on tv, but still sensitive like this guy in that book. That sort of thing. I don't think like that, but I am desperate to just be myself at times. And most of the time, I don't know who that is.
Side note: None of this is exagerated (except maybe the 'taking my soul' part... and calling myself 'nothingness').
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1 comment:
Maybe you've already found yourself you just don't know it yet. Oh gosh you're having your mid-life identity crisis NOW. THAT'S not a good sign. Just a little joke but on a more serious side, you're still "in the making". You still are changing through new events and experiences. Give it a little time, you'll find you. And when you do you'll find you were behind the couch the whole time! Punny AND meaningful.
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