At the End of the Tunnel

Staring at myself
At this nightmare I always see
And only thinking of you
The person I need to wake me

Just come and see me break
And bend my heart for you
Come and feel me mend
Our lives to one from two

Never meant harm,
But never meant well
You and me, together
The thought starts to dwell

Nothing, good at nothing
Good for nothing... but each other
Perfect, never perfect
But perfect for one another

And suddenly I see
That out of catastrophe
We can live together
I miss you…
Do you miss me?

Maybe I’ll sleep forever
Blind to the reality of sight
But I’ll always be waiting for you…
In this dark I wait for my light

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This poem was inspired mainly by Alana. She told me some things, and she showed me a music video and it kind of just moved me and I felt like I, MYSELF, was nothing and could do nothing and ever amount to anything, so I mixed the two things into one poem and it came out alright.

Blood Red, Beautiful Dead

Oh my dear
How could you lie to me?
Oh my dear
How could you have loved me?

Oh my dear
You are never near
Never even when I saw you there,
Ever lovely hair

And now what?
And now who?
When and where,
Why, who cares?

I loved you
Like no one else could
And you lied to me
Like the Devil would

I knew that you were dead
In your heart like a rose
Still so… beautiful
And yet… so, so…
Red

Like my blood that spilt
And like the garment you wore
So beautiful, so beautiful
But now nothing but
A head

You were so cruel to me
And I so good to you
How could you have taken
My love and broken
My heart?

You were so good to me
And I so cruel to you
How could I have mistaken
The beauty and the break
In your smile?

Yet I knew, always knew
That we were meant to die
With rivers running fresh
From the throats or
Perhaps the eye

So beautiful, red blood
Beautiful, red tears
Cruel, this body dead
So good, this love unwed

And now you left me
Alone, and without you
For never shall I find
Nowhere in the world
A stream as quick and true
As, oh so, beautiful…
You

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While watching the movie Sweeney Todd, I immediately fell in love with the drama that just emanates from every corner- the make-up, the black corners, the crazy lady, the sorta-ugly hero dude and the ugly girl he wants to marry, everything was so twisted and brilliant and ironic and great. And when Mr. T is just sitting with his dead lover's head in his lap, he's singing some song where he repeats the word "beautiful" over and over, and that stuck in my head and I sang it even after the movie was over. And I didnt know the words, so I made up my own lyrics and sorta made-up my own song (music to it) to it too and wrote it down. I forgot how the song part goes, but these are the lyrics I made.

You and Me- a Dream or Reality?

A vision came to visit me
It came in the sight of my mind
I ran away, and stayed
All at the same time
But now, I’m loving
This feeling that’s mine

It’s like I’m alive again
Breathing, but not living enough
Because before I met you
I was dead
And now you’re not with me
Oh, oh, oh

I said, Oh, oh
Come to me

I know you were here for a reason
That’s why I stayed
And now that I can feel it,
I’ll make you feel this way

I just wonder at how it all could be
If there was an us, a you and me
But now, I’m just being lonely
Oh, oh, oh

I said, oh, oh
Come to me please

I saw you and thought you were
Perfection in every hue
I suddenly touched you
And never breathed again
Until today, when I knew
That you felt this too
And now I believe
Ohhhhh…

I said oh,oh…
Come to me please
We can live our lives,
Just you and me

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I wrote this poem right while I was truly getting over Lisa- in fact, it's about someone else.

Searching for Ice Cream

Ice cream reminds me of you
Cuz when I saw your eyes, so blue
I melted and they seemed to melt, too
You left me there, and I started thinking

I got a puddle at my feet
My heart is in the air
It’s about to crash and burn
But you don’t care

I just sit, listening to my heartbeat
Wonderin if it’s beating for you or me
I just think of the days when we were so carefree
But now, you don’t are, so just leave me be

Love, love, love
You got me
Got my sittin on my sofa
At half-past-three

In the morning… and evening
Waiting here all day to be dreaming
Dreams of you and me, perhaps eternally
Maybe just someday…
But

No, no, no (repeated)

My heart reaches the floor
And splatters liquids red
You knock at my door
But I am no more

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Well I really have no idea what made me write this poem. I think a song inspired me, cuz whenever I read it I sorta sing it in my head. And that's why I'm making it into a song (or, depending on when you read this, that's why it IS a song). When I originally wrote it, the last line was "but i'm already dead," but after my sister said it was kinda weird and I wrote this version, I thought it was much better (I also changed some other things).