Going But Already Here

I’m telling you I’m leaving
I’m saying you should stay
I’m screaming for mercy
But I know it’s worthless

It’s been so long
We were so together
But my heart told me
That we’re not ready

I’m not leaving
Because I dislike you
But I’m not staying
Because I don’t fully love you

I need to see
That you’re good for me
And understand that I
Need you in my life

Let me stray
Even though it hurts
Allow me to leave
Because I believe
I’m coming back

Our dreams are broken for the moment
Our hearts don’t seem to be working
My life is playing with yours
So let me go to know why

I know you’re good for me
And I know I need you
But it’s hard to follow
When you don’t feel

I’m lost and learning
Mostly hurt and isolated
A little out of luck
And my vision’s faded

So let me stray
Even though you hurt
Allow me to die
Because I believe
We can come to life

--------------------------------------------------

This was when I just thought I needed to go find what I wanted. I had never really explored anything outside of a christian lifestyle, and so I felt like I didn't value it highly enough. I wanted to find what I actually wanted and so felt I needed to go away from God and what I was confortable with. And I created this.