Ego

I think I seek attention
I think I might think of myself too highly
I think I’m too genuine to be false
I think I’m generally too good to be bad

And yet I think these things
And feel no shame
No resentment
No sense of ego

I might be self-obsessed
But does it matter?
I’m a good person
So why can’t I think so myself?

But I still contradict myself,
Telling myself that
These thoughts aren’t modest
They aren’t pure

They can’t be good and pure
IS it fair to judge yourself among others?
Is it fair to put down others in your own mind?
If they don’t perceive it, is it wrong?

Of course it is
And I feel no shame
No guilt or sorrow
Should I?

When the time comes
The time of judgment everyone knows
I will put myself below others
I will supersede the needs of those around me

But until that time comes
In the here and now
I’m not sure if my thoughts are true
If they should be changed or not

They are my own
And unless I choose to,
I don’t need to share them
These hidden words are mine alone

Am I living the way I’m supposed to?
The answer may be hidden in the stars
Or buried beneath the earth
Maybe deep in the ocean

I will never know
So I will stop trying to
I can only take life as I want
And hope I’m living righteously

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This poem didn't start as a poem, actually; I was just writing things down as stuff to put on my blog for later. But I guess I saw a pattern and wrote and wrote. I think everyone has their own little sense of pride. But I also believe we all need to keep that pride in check. This is one of the moments in which I was doubting whether or not I did "keep that pride in check."