Jealousy Turns to Self-Pity

No one notices when you cry
No one cares if you die
No one knows the pain you feel
Maybe they don't feel anything

They're in their own worlds
In their lives, I can't exist
I can't want to know them
I can't want to be happy

To them, I don't matter
I don't notice
When they push away
When they dislike me
When I die

They know nothing

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This was written at Spanish Conference, a trip that certain students take to compete in the spanish language. It was so annoying, because the division was clear. And I had no idea where I was to fit in. There were the junior girls who were always laughing. And then the two wanna-be-frat boys who paraded around them. And the other two, who were typical Pine View kids, and got along with everyone I guess. Then there were two other juniors (not part of the little girly group), who I was closest to. But I longed so much to be included in that other, "always laughing" crowd. What was it about me that repelled them? One night, this girl was telling a joke, and another girl of their little group asked if they should tell me. And she said I wasn't important enough or something. Honestly, I can't remember, but whatever she said was incredibly rude and I was not even three feet away from her. And she said it out loud. So I went outside, cried, came inside and wrote this. Jealousy is a cruel thing.